Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the Japanese continue to be on the cutting edge of technology. They are now introducing “scented” films in a few cinemas around Tokyo. These movie palaces will spray up to six different scents into the air during differnent scenes in films to simulate the smell of the environment in which the scene is taking place. The first film to be shown in this format will be (the big flop) “The New World” with Colin Farrell. During the film the smell of forests (pine forests one suspects - since that scent seems so popular in the world of disinfectants) will be sprayed into the air during many outdoor scenes on screen.

The second film to be shown in this new format will be “Creatures of Red Hot Passion in the Den of Sin” with Jenna Jameson. During that film the smell of…

Carry on.