Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was doing a little Christmas shopping over the weekend. While looking over Amazon for suitable gifts he was directed towards a book called “The Alphabet of Manliness”. The book is written by a “blogger” named Maddox.

Have any of you ever read Maddox’s site? It is modestly named “The Best Page in the Universe”.

It amused your Maximum Leader. Perhaps it will amuse you too.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is paid up on his blog hosting company through late March/April of 2007. But he is getting a bit angry now. Because of some “technical issues” with Movable Type (supposedly) your Maximum Leader’s hosting company has deactivated a number of modules to his blog. Among these modules are those relating to comments (no surprise there) and his archives.

Okay… Your Maximum Leader will fully admit that he’s not getting teary-eyed for not having comments. Although he loves hearing from any of you readers who might be around and lurking, he is equally happy just posting and imagining your praise… (Afterall, isn’t a blogger’s own perception of their writing at least as important - if not perhaps a little more important - as anyone else’s?)

But now that his archives are inaccessible your Maximum Leader is getting pretty much pissed off. Dead Sexy Sadie and her partner in crime the handsome Phin have suggested that your Maximum Leader move his site. He is moving in that direction. The question is how soon?

Not only are comments defunct and archives inaccessible… But your Maximum Leader tried to post some stuff that has apparently disappeared…

He’s going to look into all this and get more angry… Stay clear…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been trying to get on to post a thing or two all day. But he’s had the damnest time actually trying to do anything on Albert Gore’s interwebs today. He managed a comment or two at a few other blogs, but he’s had many connectivity problems today.

As a result, he doesn’t now feel like typing much.

So… He will leave you all with a few dumped links.

First off, he should make sure all his northeastern readers know that they might get a few extra days to file their Federal Taxes next year. Apparently in 2007 residents of Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont and Washington D.C get to file their taxes by April 17. Because April 15 is a Sunday and April 16 is a state holiday in Massachusetts - where the processing center for the IRS (that handles those states) is located. Happy day to you all. As your Maximum Leader pays his taxes to either the Philadelphia or Memphis processing facility he is pretty much screwed on this.

While your Maximum Leader is sure that many of his readers already have seen this link (it was on The Corner earlier this week), he will republish it here. Why post a link to American History quizzes for High School students? Mostly for the benefit of our friend the Smallholder - who doesn’t frequent The Corner and most likely missed the boat on this one.

Shocking headline of the day off the news wire! Man injured after launching fireworks from his arse. Positively shocking.

Its… Like… Y2K+6+1. NASA is worried about the impending flight of the space shuttle. The next mission of the space shuttle Discovery is scheduled to hae the orbiter aloft over the change from 2006 to 2007. This is a new event for the shuttle and engineers aren’t sure that the Discovery is ready for it. Frankly, there is some sort of pithy rocket scientist joke in this story. Your Maximum Leader is just above making one…

Have you ever wondered why you should “light a match?” Yahoo answers all.

Did you know every day is Sushi Day?

And finally… Congratulations to the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt for her People’s Choice Award nomination as a Favorite TV star. Your Maximum Leader will be rooting for you.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was contemplating writing an Election Day analysis; but decided instead to post some quiz results…

What? You expected commentary?

Well… You might get some a little later.

Be careful what you wish for.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is all for using the “power” of the Albert Gore created internets/interwebs thingie to learn new things.

Sometimes, perusal of the usual suspect’s blogs leads one down a path of fantastic links where you can really claim that you’ve learned something that you didn’t know before.

Like Eric, your Maximum Leader has wondered about making human breast milk cheese…

Now he knows (like Eric does too) that you cannot.

Fascinating stuff.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader found this quiz via Rachel.

No surprise to him in the results.

Right now your Maximum Leader would say his voice isn’t suitable for radio… He’s got a little congestion going on. Sniffles and all…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hopes that you all are voting today. To be perfectly honest he doesn’t exactly mean what he just wrote. Your Maximum Leader hopes that those of you who are eligible voters - and ideologically in lock-step with your Maximum Leader are voting. If you are not ideologically in-tune with your Maximum Leader, just forget about going to vote today. Stay home. Watch some daytime TV. Visit a museum. Spend all day surfing porn on the internet. Just don’t vote unless you are voting in a way of which your Maximum Leader would approve.

That being said… Your Maximum Leader hasn’t voted yet. He will in about an hour or so. He was waiting for the early morning rush to end. He likes to go slow and take lots of time voting. Sometimes he even asks questions of the “officials” at the polling place. You know, just to keep them on their toes.

Well… Your Maximum Leader and the Smallholder spoke on the phone last night. The Smallholder called your Maximum Leader a racist for deciding to exercise his franchise for George Allen. Your Maximum Leader called Smallholder an idot statist for choosing to exercise his franchise for James Webb. Both of us are voting the same way on the Constitutional measures.

Your Maximum Leader didn’t inquire as to how the Smallholder would be voting in his congressional race - as we live in different districts. (NB: your Maximum Leader learned that the person running against his incumbent Congresswoman - Jo Ann Davis, R - is actually named Shawn O’Donnell. Not McDonald or whatever. Not like it makes a difference, Mr. O’Donnell is still not getting your Maximum Leader’s vote.)

The Smallholder asked your Maximum Leader if it was a good thing to return to power a party that seems to have betrayed his (that is to say your Maximum Leader’s) support on ideological grounds? This seems to be a nagging question out there. Many people are posing a similar question to those who vote Republican.

The question goes like this. If the Republicans haven’t behaved the way you want them to, then shouldn’t you give the Democrats a chance at running things? Well… The simple answer is no. This question could be re-worded to go like this: “Since the monarchists haven’t behaved the way you wanted them to, shouldn’t you give the anarchists a chance?”

The fallacy here is that one party is just the same as the other. But at many levels they are not. Admittedly, the Republicans haven’t done enough to keep your Maximum Leader happy. But the Democrats aren’t likely to do more to keep your Maximum Leader happy…

Anyhoo…

Predictions… It seems increasingly likely that the Republicans will lose the House. Your Maximum Leader wants to trust gerrymandering and al the other built-in advantages of incumbency. But perhaps the drumbeat from the media and a general feeling of discontent might overcome those advantages. Your Maximum Leader thinks it will be close regardless of who wins the majority of seats. Your Maximum Leader could see the Dems picking up 14-21 seats. He thinks the Republicans will retain control of the Senate.

There you have it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader likes politics. Well… Generally likes politics. This political season has started to wear on him. He’s conflicted in many ways. He’s upset that Republicans have seemingly abandoned the issues that are most important to your Maximum Leader (this is to say fiscal restraint, limiting the size of the Federal Government, and increasing personal liberty). Of course, the Democratic party has never supported those issues in the first place, so there is little solace to be found there. Your Maximum Leader isn’t a third party type of guy. If an intelligent (read: non-wacky) Libertarian would run for something he/she might just get your Maximum Leader’s vote.

This is the first time that your Maximum Leader can remember wishing he lived in another state. Specifically he wishes he lived in Texas so that he could vote for Kinky Friedman. If you are a reader of this site and a registered voter in the great state of Texas, please know that your Maximum Leader officially endorses Kinky for Governor.

As for your Maximum Leader, he will not be voting for Kinky. But he will be voting for a number of other things and candidates.

Of course, you are all by now familiar with the Allen/Webb senate campaign. After much reflection n the matter, your Maximum Leader will pull the lever for George Allen. Not a big surprise there really. Your Maximum Leader is a self-professed Allen supporter. But this is not really a pro-Allen vote. It is more an Anti-Webb vote. Neither man gives one much reason to support one over the other. So, this vote is cast more out of a feeling of duty to vote than anything else.

In the race to see who will hold the seat for Virginia’s First Congressional District (and America’s First as well - since the district contains the Jamestown Settlement) your Maximum Leader will vote for the incumbent, Jo Ann Davis. Until about a week ago, your Maximum Leader didn’t even know that anyone was running against Davis. It turns out that she does have an opponent. Some fellow named McDonnell, or McDoughney, or McDonald. To your Maximum Leader’s knowledge there have been no debates locally between the candidates. Your Maximum Leader couldn’t easily find any information on the internet about the other candidate. So your Maximum Leader can’t tell you one thing that Ms. Davis’ opponent thinks about anything. Thusly, your Maximum Leader will be voting for Ms. Davis for Congress.

There are many ballot issues facing your Maximum Leader in Virginia this Election day. In fact there are three statewide (Commonwealth-wide?) ballot measures in Virginia. Here is a link to see all of them.

The first one is the “Gay Marriage” Amendment to the State Constitution. Basically, the amendment seeks to define marriage as being between a man and a woman only. It will also forbid localities from creating any legal arrangements that might approximate marriage.

Now, long-time readers of this page will know that your Maximum Leader isn’t a partisan for gay marriage. And while the sentiment of the amendment (that is to say that marriage is a union between a man and a woman) is in line with your Maximum Leader’s beliefs; he will likely vote against this constitutional amendment. There are many reasons why he will cast this vote the way he will. The biggest one is that while the actual language of the amendment is not discriminatory, any slightly intelligent person can determine that the intent of the amendment is to discriminate against gays. This might seem odd to you since your Maximum Leader has stated that he is in favor of this particular type of discrimination. Well… While your Maximum Leader is not in favor of redefining marriage - he also not in favor of writing discrimatory amendments to his state constitution. Indeed, his feelings about not writing discriminatory laws easily trumps his non-approval of gay marriage. He imagines that this amendment will pass. But he hopes it does not.

The second ballot measure is another constitutional amendment. The amendment in question will allow the General Assembly of Virginia to grant charters of incorporation to churches in Virginia. Virginia, for centuries, has had special charters for churches. Recent Supreme Court decisions appear to have struck-down as unconstitutional this particular tradition in the Old Dominion. Thus, it is necessary to amend the Virginia Constitution to fall in line with Federal Law. Your Maximum Leader will vote for this amendment. There is no sense in keeping provisions in your state constitution that are in opposition to the interpretation of Federal Law. Of course, this brings up an interesting philosophical point concerning Federal supremacy and the role of the Supreme Court in fashioning state law. While the interesting philosophical point might be fun to debate over drinks in front of a roaring fire, the point was settled quite decisively by the Civil War. So it is only an intellectual argument…

The third ballot measure to appear on all Virginia ballots is the tax relief amendment. This amendment will allow the General Assembly to pass laws which in turn would llow local governments to pass partial real estate tax relief to fund various types of building projects. Well, not really building projects so much as conservation and rehabilitation projects. So the aim of the measure is to allow localities to grant real estate tax relief to people who are choosing to conserve land (by not building on it) or choosing to rehabilitate already developed land to a more worthwhile use. Your Maximum Leader is all in favor of both of these aims, and will enthusiastically vote for this measure.

There are also some local bond measure on the ballot. They are specific to the county in which your Maximum Leader lives. They may not interest you too much, so he will not add them to this post. (But they might merit a post on their own - because of the contraversy involved in one bond measure…)

Your Maximum Leader hopes you all get out and vote tomorrow. It is your responsibility to cast an informed ballot. So do your homework tonight (if you haven’t already) and vote tomorrow.

Carry on.

I stared into my bourbon. I tried to find patterns in the ice and liquor. It was my version of finding shapes in clouds. A grown-up version of staring at the sky.

While I was staring at my drink my soon-to-be ex-girlfriend was ranting on about how she felt distant from me. I “wouldn’t let her in.” Whatever the fuck that means.

I took a drink and told her, “I’m a question mark, a walking talking question mark. But what is the question again?”

“Are you even listening to me?” she pleaded.

“No baby. I’m drinking now.”

High school became difficult for me. I’m from a respectable family. My dad was the city treasurer. I was looking forward to college and a bright future as a doctor.

Then one day dad disappeared. Not only that, the town was broke.

Turns out my life was taxpayer subsidized. Life changed. Nasty glances. Cold shoulders. Lawyers dwell on small details since daddy had to fly. My hopes for the future changed.

I can only hope my old man is living it up in some South American village somewhere. ‘Cause if I ever find him he’s a goner.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will fashion a little doll out of scraps of cloth and stuffing today. He will draw a little beard on the doll and call him Guy. Then your Maximum Leader will burn the little doll to a cinder.

Then your Maximum Leader might eat some roast beef and yorkshire pudding for dinner.

And that, loyal minions, is how your Maximum Leader will be spending this Guy Fawkes Day.

Of course, since most of you have probably already read the pos by Robert the Llama you know that Guy Fawkes day is slowly morphing into some weird multicultural festival in England. But if you followed Robbo’s link you would have learnt - like your Maximum Leader did - that Guy Fawkes sometimes signed his name Guido. Who knew?

Frankly in order to make the day more multicultural your Maximum Leader will suggest that the day just be renamed “Guido Fawkes Day” and then it would take on a certain “latin” flavour… Of course, your Maximum Leader doesn’t know how that would make the various Bengali-Britons feel better… But then again… Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure why the Bengali-Britons would feel put out about their countrymen buring Guy Fawkes once a year…

Carry on.

It was a crazy time at the restaurant. Mr. and Mrs. Angelities ran the best diner in town for decades. Who’d have suspected that after years of (supposedly) happy marriage Mrs. Angelities would catch her husband “with” the new waitress?

I was smoking with the boys upstairs when I heard about the whole affair. “How old is he again?” Jake asked.

“I don’t know. Sixty?” I responded taking a drag on my Marlboro.

I wondered to myself if it was worth it? I concluded that it probably wasn’t; even if the new waitress was pretty hot.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader got a wild hair - so to speak - while listening to his iPod. He has decided to take a single line from each of the songs on a particular playlist he’s listening to and write an unrelated 100 Below post incorporating the lyric.

This is just an explanatory post. In case any of you wonder what the hell all these 100 Below posts are all about…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sitting at his mighty ubercomputer in the Villainschloss and blogging on a Saturday. What is next? Rivers of blood? Plagues of locusts?

Well… Probably none of those things. It is more likely that your Maximum Leader will just put up a few posts about things on his mind.

Of course your Maximum Leader could use his shock at seeing a post from his good friend the Foreign Minister appear on the blog as an excuse for not blogging for two days… But actually, life has been quite busy for your Maximum Leader. He just hasn’t had it in him to blog. This is not to say that he hasn’t had subjects on which he wanted to comment. He just hasn’t had the energy or time to put them down in a coherent way.

Not that the coherence or non-coherence of a particular post has been an issue for him in the past…

Expect some posting over the weekend from your Maximum Leader. Feel free to read the posting when ever - probably Monday… Since that is when you all will likely return to reading this site. Your Maximum Leader can imagine you all… Sitting at your comfy desks at your place of employment. Sipping your hot beverage. Gleefully reading Naked Villainy. And feeling like you are sticking it to “The Man” because you are visiting a web site with the word “naked” in the URL that isn’t a porn site…

Heh.

Carry on.

Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile.
Its been a crazy summer/autumn. I broke and ankle, moved house (to a new location in Germany) and had to fight the German telecoms to get a decent internet and phone connection.

Anyway.

I will try to be a better minister…. really!
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