Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure why his post of last night didn’t show up until today. Not like it was a great post or anything… Just a hiccup in the Al Gore created internets or something…

Well, your Maximum Leader said that he was wasting his free time yesterday playing Rome:Total War and watching Monday Night Football. Since you, loyal minion, probably have no interest whatsoever in reading about the e-exploits of your Maximum Leader as leader of the Scipii faction as he has taken most of Greece and significant chunks of North Africa; he will instead regale you with his thoughts on Monday Night Football.

Frankly, your Maximum Leader didn’t give a hoot about the game. Raiders v. Vikings. It is preseason and they don’t count for anything. He would, instead, prefer to give catty assessments of his thoughts while watching the game.

First thought… Your Maximum Leader’s digital cable package doesn’t seem to inclue ESPN HD. And that sucks. He’ll have to rectify that situation right away.

Second thought… Vikings new uniforms are nothing to write home about. In fact, your Maximum Leader prefers the old ones. Second thought sub-a… What happened to the Viking painted on the midfield “grass?” The great Viking head is now replaced with some pseudo-funky “MV” in a san-serif font. For a moment your Maximum Leader wondered to himself, “MV? What the hell does that stand for? What happened to the Viking head?” The new owner is just indulging his wife and redesigning the uniforms and the grass for her to feel like she is part of the ownership experience… Oy! Is that a sexist thought or what?

Third thought… Your Maximum Leader loves Tony Kornheiser. But Tony seemed to be ready to void on himself at any moment. If there is a reason to broadcast Monday Night pre-season games it is let Tony get more at ease with himself on the show. Overall he gives Tony a C+ in his initial outing.

Fourth thought… Your Maximum Leader still doesn’t like Joe Thiesman. He never really has liked Joe. When he was QB of the ‘Skins - he was okay. As a broadcaster, he doesn’t do it for your Maximum Leader. Joe seemed to want to engage in banter with Tony, but it was forced sounding. That could have been because of Tony’s nerves.

Fifth thought… Michele Tafoya is a great sideline reporter, but your Maximum Leader would prefer a much younger, much hotter, much more suggestively dressed, vapid female sideline reporter. Your Maximum Leader has a soft spot in his black heart for Suzi Kolber. So she stays. But how about just giving the other mic to the various cheerleading squads to pass around? That would be more fun.

Sixth thought… Art Shell is one mean-looking S.O.B.

Seventh and final thought… He can’t wait for real games to begin…

Carry on.