Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that his comments are disabled. Some readers are kind enough to tell your Maximum Leader that his RSS feeds and archives might be intermittently available as well. Your Maximum Leader will have to poke around under the hood of his blog a little more to see if he can resolve some of these problems. In the end he thinks he’ll have to change hosting companies to ultimately finish these problems.

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader doesn’t get many e-mailed messages about his postings. (NB: Minion Molly, are you still out there? Your Maximum Leader is curious.) But from time to time he gets a little bit of virtual goodness tha is a fun e-mail. He recently received such a message. It came from loyal minion Buckethead from the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Buckethead writes:

Dear Maximum Leader,
The last few days, I’ve been frustrated by the lack of comments on your bloggy thing. Toast is toast not because of warmth, but because of dryness. Granted, that dryness is often introduced by heat. The perfect toast is crunchy in a thin layer on the outside of the bread, and warm and moist goodness on the inside. Also, who cares which backstabbing medieval eye-tie despot (is there any other kind?) is better? The real question is which emotional state is preferable: fear, or apathy? Additionally, don’t get me started on the Red Dawn. I would have loved that movie unreservedly had it not been for the fact that the guerrilla group shared a mascot with the university of Michigan. Finally, Mary Magdalene is probably buried somewhere in the south of France, because the Da Vinci Code is all true, true I say.

Well… What can we say about all that? First off, your Maximum Leader hopes that Buckethead will not be offended by your Maximum Leader posting his e-mail. Your Maximum Leader has been wanting to post more than he has, but finds that actually writing a post is a problem. Thus, having at least part of a post pre-written for you seems like a great idea!

Now… To address Buckethead’s issues:

Your Maximum Leader, like Buckethead, realizes that toast has to do with dry and not just heat. The question was posed rhetorically because your Maixmum Leader was home at the time with the wee Villain and Villainette #1 who were both suffering from the same stomach flu. Villainette #1 announced that she was going to make some toast. Then she proceeded to put a piece of bread into the microwave for 15 sec on high. She announced that this was “her” idea of toast. This struck your Maximum Leader as some sort of heretical idea. “Her” idea of toast. She might as well have been saying “my personal truth” or some such nonsense. So, we talked for a little while about what makes toast toast. She still hasn’t been won over by your Maximum Leader’s oratory on toast to come around to the fact that warm bread is not toast. But she will. You Maximum Leader thinks she is just being a contrairian…

Your Maximum Leader must differ with Buckethead and say that there is a difference between one medieval potentate and the other. In the end, your Maximum Leader thinks it is better to be Grand Duke of Florence. Reasons being these: 1) Absolute monarchy vs. Some weird system whereby the Doge is elected and still suffers oversight by the city fathers; 2) More artists patronize Florence and more artists are Florentine than Venitian; 3) Better chance of having a family member become Pope; 4) Machiavelli wrote for Florence; 5) Your city, while it might flood from time to time, wasn’t always sinking into a lagoon.

Frankly, those seem like pretty compelling reasons…

And lastly… Dan Brown… Gawd your Maximum Leader thinks about Dan Brown and wonders if that sumbitch is waking up every day laughing at everyone who bought his book, bought tickets to the movie, or created some DaVinci Code knock-off book that probably pays him some sort of royalty. If Dan Brown isn’t laughing his arse off every day - he ought to be.

Direct comments, questions, desperate pleas for help, or photos of yourself (if you are cute and female) to your Maximum Leader at either address on the left side nav bar.

Carry on.