Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to dip once again into the Minion Mailbag. Here is the message:

Dear Maximum Leader:

Looking for the Signs.

The Maximum Leader responds:

Dear Looking:

Your Maximum Leader looked through a considerable pile of old 3.5 inch floppy disks trying to find the aforementioned list of the 40 signs of the Mike World Order. Regrettably, the original list must be lost electronically. By odd happenstance, your Maximum Leader was able to find part of the list in an old file folder. So, just for you my loyal minions, your Maximum Leader has revised and will now republish the list of the 40 Signs of the MWO.

40 Signs of the Mike World Order.
(In no particular order)

1. Your Maximum Leader’sprofile on all the coins.
2. A huge democratically elected parliament that meets continually, but accomplishes nothing.
3. Identity papers.
4. Show trials. (With free admission!)
5. O.J. retried, found guilty, and stoned to death.
6. All traces of post-1986 Michael Jackson erased.
7. Saint Elvis.
8. Heidi Klum becomes new model for Statue of Liberty.
9. Statue of Liberty renamed Statue of Conformity to the Mike World Order.
10. Abundant, cheap, clean, public transportation.
11. Beer for the People!
12. Distilled spirits for the elites!
13. Huge military parades, for no particular reason.
14. Free digital cable for the People!
15. At least 5 quality programs on digital cable at any given time.
16. MLNN, the Maximum Leader News Network.
17. Ted Turner dragged out and shot, just for fun.
18. Public executions. (With free admission!)
19. Did I just say “Beer for the People?” I meant to say “FREE high-quality Beer for the People!”
20. Permits required before people can wear spandex in public.
21. One radio station broadcasting all Richard Wagner, all the time.
22. One radio station broadcasting all Elvis, all the time.
23. Special lanes on roads for the most loyal of loyal minions to drive on.
24. “No Blood, No Foul” rule introduced to the NBA to make games more interesting.
25. No hockey teams in places that do not naturally get snow during the winter.
26. Bud Selig dragged out and shot for crimes against baseball.
27. Barbara Striesand being forced to clean her own bathroom at least twice a week.
28. Barbara Striesand being forced to clean the Big Hominid’s bathroom daily, with her tounge.
29. Permits required of couples before breeding.
30. More honest labeling of organic products.
31. Photos of topless women on Page 3 of every reputable newspaper.
32. (For the ladies!) Photos of hunky guys on Page 5 of every reputable newspaper.
33. Music appreciation taught in all grades at all schools.
34. One cable channel broadcasting Jennifer Love Hewitt all the time.
35. The new MS-Windows OS will be both intuitive and functional.
36. School children taught the poetry of the Big Hominid in 10th grade.
37. Bill and Hillary forced to live together and like it.
38. Shame and humiliation restored to civil society, maybe through strategic use of pillorys.
39. People allowed to drive as fast as they want on toll roads. (You’re paying for it afterall.)
40. Perpetual happiness for the masses under the benevolent rule of an enlighted Maximum Leader.

Make note of these items my minions. These are the signs.

Carry on.