Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader likes to give praise (and glinting medals) to people who he thinks deserve them. Of course, most of the time it is your Maximum Leader himself who is most deserving of praise and medals. But it seems as though we have to occasionally spread the wealth to our panjandrum, the Smallholder.

Just as Aristophanes had his great hit “Birds” so the Smallholder must have his great hit “Toads.”

Let your Maximum Leader dip into the Minion Mailbag to see what readers are saying… The Divine Minion Molly writes:

Smallholder outdid himself with his Toad Post. I was LOL! I had several male gay friends in college and would go with them to gay dance clubs. They have the best music and drinks! I thought I was soooo liberal and open minded until a woman asked me to dance. I almost fainted, but I did decline politely and said I was with a guy. I later saw her on the dance floor and waved. I was kind of flattered because she was really pretty.

Ah Molly… This reminds your Maximum Leader of a time when he was out with the Foreign Minister. There was a club called “The Machine” were he liked to go and dance with friends. As your Maximum Leader has said before, he is not a dancer. So while the others were dancing, your Maximum Leader was holding down the table. While sitting drinking his beer, a guy at the next table struck up idle conversation with your Maximum Leader. We talked sports, the weather, some local events. He asked if he could buy the next round for us. Your Maximum Leader gladly accepted. Then we drank and talked more. Then your Maximum Leader bought a round for us. (All this talk was intersperced with interruptions from dancing friends returning to the table.) Finally, the guy looked over at your Maximum Leader and said, “Hey, would you like to dance?” Your Maximum Leader said (not quite catching on), “With whom?” He replied, “With me.” Your Maximum Leader, the dim bulb brightening, said that he was quite flattered but that he was more interested in the waitress wearing the spandex bodysuit and using syringes to shoot Jagermister shooters down his throat. The guy was very cool with it. We kept talking throughout the night. At the end of the evening, when he saw that your Maximum Leader was leaving he shook hands and said that your Maximum Leader was “really cool about the whole dancing thing.”

Another loyal reader, Gordon (the Cranky Neocon) writes:

I just wanted you to know what I was doing at 11:00 last night. I was rubbing my two toad’s bellies listening for a peep. We live near a pond and “adopted” them last summer.

You’re seemingly random musing actually performed a great service. And shut up, I am not a geek!

Thank you!

Well Gordon, your Maximum Leader is very glad that the Smallholder’s homespun, down-on-the-farm wisdom made your day. Of course you didn’t say if you got the peep. We are dying to know.

And your Maximum Leader should take this opportunity to plug Gordon’s blog, Cranky Neocon. If you aren’t reading it every day, you should be. It is, as billed, your conservative funhouse.

Congrats Smallholder! Toads is a big hit. Hell, keep this up and you’ll be a veritable Baxter Black.

Carry on.