Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been puking sick the past few days. It seems whatever viral fate befell the Villainettes last week has now befallen your Maximum Leader. This has made thinking of a witty and engaging post for the weekly Men’s Club/Diva’s post very hard… So if it appears as though your Maximum Leader is just “phoning in” this entry it is because he is…

When your Maximum Leader first thought of the whole topic of lies you might tell your significant other he was stymied. You see, your Maximum Leader doesn’t lie to Mrs. Villain. Honesty is a foundation stone of our relationship. And this is the way it is supposed to be. One shouldn’t tell lies to your spouse. It can only end badly. This is not to say that your Maximum Leader doesn’t, from time to time, withhold the whole truth from Mrs. Villain. He has on occasion. But he will not lie to her.

But then your Maximum Leader’s mind turned to dating and romance. What lies are told in the winning of booty? Should lies be told while you are pitching woo? Of course, your Maximum Leader’s classically liberal education caused him to think of the Sun Tzu of love, Ovid. Surely Ovid, that great Roman Poet and dispenser of advice in the matter of love, had something to say about lying. Ovid didn’t disappoint. Here is a passage from The Art of Love:

Don’t be shy of making promises; women are fair game
For promise-makers; invoke any god you care to name
To witness your oath. Jupiter from above
Smiles on the perjuries of men in love
And bids the Aeolian winds shred them in air.
He himself would often swear
To Juno with a hollow
“By the Styx!,” and now he favours all who would follow
His bad example. That gods should exist
Is expedient; let us therefore not resist
Belief in them; let incense and wine be given
On their ancient hearths, for the ones in heaven
Don’t loll about in a sort of half-sleep,
They’re everywhere; so live virtuously, keep
Safe and return loans; honour your bond, eschew
Fraud, and have nothing to do
With bloodshed. A wise man will cheat
No one but women - it’s not a risky feat,
And only here there’s a kind of duty in deceit.
Deceive the decievers! Since for the most part
They fib, let them fall, snared by their own art!

So the great Ovid suggests that while reputable men should avoid bloodshed and fraud, and men should try to be virtuous; all bets are off when it comes to wooing. Indeed, oaths sworn to “get some” aren’t really binding.

Perhaps, like Jupiter, we (men that is) just can’t help it. When single and on the prowl, we just can’t restrain ourselves. It is like the testosterone shuts down the virtuous portions of our brain. We are prone to blurt out things like, “You know I love you baby.” and “You’re the only girl for me baby.” just because our overarching desire to plant our seed overwhelms us.

Then again, there are the games women play with men. Knowing men are weak when faced with the prospect of fornication, women play this to their advantage. They can try to manipulate and manoever men to do what they want. Is this a form of lying or deceit? Probably. But, it is part of the game that is played by both sides in this little war of love.

So how to we overcome our base natures to move on to a more matre relationship? Your Maximum Leader isn’t too sure of that. He knew from the beginning that Mrs. Villain wasn’t like other women he dated. So he started off being honest and forthcoming.

This is not to say that your Maximum Leader was a lying bastard before Mrs. Villain. He wasn’t. But he might have pretended to be a little more earnest, or a little more interested, or a little more devoted than he in fact was. He wasn’t all bad. Indeed, he was behaving no worse than did Jupiter. If he could have appeared as a shower of gold or a swan to better his chances, he would have. (Although a woman who would allow a swan to have sex with her is not the type of girl your Maximum Leader would be interested in…)

Check out the other members of the Men’s Club: Puffy, the Wizard, and Phin. Or if you would like the ladies’ take on this subject, check out the Divas: Chrissy , Sadie , Kathy, Twisty and Silk.

Carry on.