Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that rap star Lil’ Kim, recently convicted for perjury, is going to be goin’ to the Big House for a year and a day. She will also be paying a $50,000 fine.

Prosecutors wanted a 3 year sentance. The maximum sentance would have been 20 years.

Lil’ Kim admits that she now knows what she did was wrong. And she is so wery wery so-wee for being a bad girl.

Now, your Maximum Leader has never heard a Lil’ Kim song (rap - whatever) in his life. And frankly, were it not for her proclivity to wear skimpy outfits that show off her rather ample boobs (thereby making her a favourite for the paparazzi) your Maximum Leader would have no idea who the hell she was. Indeed, the first time your Maximum Leader saw a photo of Lil’ Kim he thought she might be some wild porn star.

Well, now that she is going to the Poke, she might wind up being a “porn star” to someone. Well, that is unlikely one supposes. She probably will have an automatic posse in the clink to keep her safe. And it would also seem likely that she wouldn’t have to worry about being raped in the shower by a bunch of butch lesbians who like soaping up… A lot…

Indeed, it would seem that if anything, Lil’ Kim will eventually emerge from her enforced vacation with renewed and upgraded “street cred.” She should parley that into millions of more records sold…

Excursus - Other than outside the south does anyone call prison “the poke?” Just wondering.

Carry on.