Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees, on the Reuters news wire no less, that one Fateh Mohammed, of a dark, dank, and dangerous Pakistani Prison, recently underwent surgery to… Erm… Well… Let’s read the headline again: Operation removes lightbulb from anus. The money quote:

The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.

Imagine your Maximum Leader channelling his best Dr. Evil voice. “Yeah… Right…”

One supposes, however, that this news item now will give creedence to all those urban legends about people coming into emergency rooms around the world will all manner of objects “stuck” in their anus. Everyone has heard a gerbil story (or two). Your Maximum Leader and the Smallholder once got a chuckle (and frankly still do get chuckles) from a story where the object was an egg. Heh.

Anyho… Fateh Mohammed, your Maximum Leader hopes that you just stick to sodomy in the future and try not to use lightbulbs again.

Carry on.