Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must have forgotten to leave instructions with his ministers concerning last week’s episode of the Men’s Club. It was the one where we men were supposed to raise three questions of the fairer sex that puzzle us.

You know the type of question of which your Maximum Leader speaks? Surely you do. But just in case he’ll give you an example. Why do women actually ask men if a particular outfit makes their arse look big? Can there be a right answer to that question? If a man says “yes” it causes a scene and prevents him from gettin’ any good luvin’ for a while. If he says “no” the woman thinks he might be lying. These are the weighty matters with which we concern ourselves today.

But just to be interesting, your Maximum Leader has decided to channel his ministers and what types of questions they would like to ask the fairer sex…

In the mode of the Minister of Propaganda:

1) Are you interested in me because of my wit and charm, or is it my wholesome Liberal political philosophy that turns you on?
2) So? Would you like to go out and catch a flick then head back to my place; or should we find a nice coffee house and monologue for hours about the evil neo-con conspiracies now besetting our great Republic?
3) Would you like me to show you something I learned from Bill Clinton?

In the mode of the Foreign Minister:

1) So, visit the Biergarten often?
2) Whaddya say we head back to my place? I’ll show you my big guns then I’ll see how good you are blowing off a few rounds?
3) What? I didn’t mention that there’s a time for fuckin’ and a time for sleepin’? And sleepin’ time isn’t the same as cuddle time?

In the mode of the Poet Laureate:

1) Have you ever considered the relationship between scatology and the early Byzantine Iconoclasts?
2) Is your Buddha-mind also connected to your Buddha-sphincter?
3) Have I shown you my little alien friend? The Cosmic Import is his name.

In the mode of the Smallholder:

1) Are those real? Because if they are I’d sure like to practice by technique?
2) I’ve got a ram back at the farm. Would you like to come over and have me show him to you?
3) Would you like to test fly the button fly?

And finally in the mode of your Maximum Leader:

1) Do you know how you could best serve your Maximum Leader’s… needs?
2) Would you be willing to undergo massive reconstructive surgery to make yourself look a bit more like the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt?
3) Would you like to learn more about pseudo-benevolent autocracy darling?

Now if you are interested in real questions go an read Phin, Stiggy, Jamesy, and Nugget. Or for the ladies questions check out Kathy, Silk and Phoenix. The lovely Sadie is taking a little brea…

Carry on.