Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is writing this specifically for Kate Moss. Kate, if you’re out there (and your Maximum Leader knows you lurk around here waiting for the Minister of Propaganda to post) take heed.

This whole coke thing is beginning to affect your career. Affect in bad ways. The Swedes are dropping you from ad campaigns. Aren’t the Swedes like the most non-confrontational understanding pople in Europe? And they are upset with you? This isn’t good.

Kate, take your Maximum Leader’s advice. Call the Minister of Propaganda (send an e-mail - we’ll give you the number). He wants to help you through this. Don’t call any of those former boyfriends like Johnny Depp or anything. They didn’t have your best interests in mind. Not like the M of P. He’ll hold your hand and walk you through this.

Carry on.