Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hears it from here. In deepest Georgia, James Earl Carter has buried his head in the ample bosom of his wife to hide the sounds of his wailing. Mr. Carter is recounting his accomplishments. Camp David. Habitat for Humanity. All those elections he monitored. All those dictators with whom he negotiated. All those visits to Haiti… They were all steps towards earning a Nobel Peace Prize. Alas, he now recognizes the error of his ways. If he hadn’t had an accent, was younger and more buff, and was reknown for soaring oratory he wouldn’t have had to actually do anything to win a Nobel Peace Prize.
Your Maximum Leader doesn’t hear any crying from Henry Kissinger. Why? Because years ago Henry melted down his Nobel medal and fashioned them into little pins that read “Hammered by Henry.” He then took the pins and the prize money and spent a week in Vegas that is remembered to this day…
So Barack Obama has won the friggin Nobel Peace Prize. What can you say but “What the fuck?”
Barack Obama has done as much to advance world peace as has your Maximum Leader. Barack Obama has made a whole bunch of speeches about outreach and change. Your Maximum Leader once wrote a 10 step plan that would result in a more peaceful world. See! Same difference.
Of course this is not to say that the Norwegian Nobel Committee had much credibility with your Maximum Leader. Their picks the past few time round have been dubious at best. But this award takes the cake for undeserved honors.
In many respects this award is nothing more than a “great effort” certificate that kids get for playing team sports - regardless of their record. Only in this case there wasn’t much effort put in by the winner before getting the certificate…
If the President has any sense whatsoever (and it is likely that he does not in this matter) he’d send Hillary (or Bill) Clinton to accept the award on his behalf, and give a speech about peace… That would be on par with the accomplishments that lead to the award being given in the first place.
Carry on.
