It could be her metabolism…

Greetings again loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has decided to blog once again tonight before retiring for his evening constitutional followed by playtime with his most loyal minion, his dog. Your Maximum Leader feels the need to leap to the defence of the ohhh soooo desireable Ann Coulter. Now, your Maximum Leader’s fondness for Ms. Coulter has already been clearly expressed in this forum. Your Maximum Leader is also well aware of the lovely Ann’s oft controversial and combative nature. It is, in fact, one of her most desireable features. Your Maximum Leader has no doubt what so ever that the fair Ann is more than perfectly capable of defending her views from others. But, this article on one of your Maximum Leader’s favourite website is a bit much.

Now, generally your Maximum Leader gleefully engages in the logical fallacy of the ad hominem attack. But, in those cases when he does resort to namecalling and personal attacks, it is only because he admits that he is stalling for more time in which to devise and plot a logcially flawless argument. (Or give the secret hand signal to a loyal henchman to drag out his opponent and have them shot.) Having said that, your Maximum Leader recognizes that when others engage in personal attacks, it is simply because they have nothing else of consequence to say.

The subject of the radiant Ann’s weight seems to be quite interesting to a number of commentators. There is the aforementioned NRO article. There was also this article in Salon a while ago. (One might expect some residual animosity between the good people at NRO and the babealicious Ann after the little falling out they had back in 2001. But I thought they had both moved on. You want to know more about this? Read the column that prompted the falling out.)

So, your Maximum Leader finds himself wondering, “Why?” Why spend the effort to criticize the goddess Ann’s weight? Is it some sort of well-known secret that Ann starves herself? If so, perhaps some of those people should try to get her some help. (Isn’t that the proper thing to do?) Of course, what if the slender Ann doesn’t graze lightly on celery or grass or some other light vegetation? Suppose she has a normal appetite? Have any of these people gone out to lunch with her? (Which by the way, Ann - or should I say, our modern conservative Athena - if you would like to meet for lunch let us know. Your Maximum Leader will gladly treat you, probably with the same super AMEX card used to foil mother nature. E-mail your Maximum Leader Ann!) Your Maximum Leader will posit that the blonde conservative uberbabe has a very active metabolism. One that goes with her very active lifestyle of many TV appearances. Indeed, your Maximum Leader’s college roommate had a superhuman metabolism. He could devour two whole Little Ceasar’s pizzas in a single (somewhat protracted) sitting and neer gain an ounce. This genetic trait was the cause of some jealousy on the part of your Maximum Leader. But, as your Maximum Leader is great and can contain multitudes; he got over it. And that is your Maximum Leader’s edict to all these commentators who insist on making the gorgeous Ann’s weight an object of scorn. So, your Maximum Leader is putting all you Ann-weight-writers on notice. When the MWO comes, you will be dragged out and shot for your churlishness and logically flawed comments.

Carry on my minions!