Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to post some more inappropriate questions for your reading enjoyment. These are questions pertaining to the Alito nomination that Democratic Staffers rejected passing along to their bosses…

1) Judge Alito, you seem to be a skinny guy. Do you eat right? Do you exercise? I ask because I was hoping that you would make a habit of eating fatty fried foods and drinking melted butter. We hoped this diet plan would get Clarence Thomas off the Court sooner. Even though it hasn’t worked so far we figure it is worth a second try.

2) Judge Alito, have you seen “Brokeback Mountain?” If you had to choose would you rather nail Heath Ledger or Jake Gyllenhaal? Could you make the one you chose squeal like a pig? You know like that scene in “Deliverance…”

3) Judge Alito, Senator Feinstein says that this is proper technique for fellatio. Is it your experience that this technique works?

4) Judge Alito, that chunky daughter of yours over there… Can she go on a date with Senator Kennedy?

5) Judge Alito, my colleagues on this committee have implied or actually called you a bigot, a homophobe, and an elitist over the past few days. I’ve seem to have misplaced my notes here, but could you also confirm for me that you are also a closed-minded, misogynistic, anti-semetic, greasy-haired dago-guinea-wop? I seem to remember reading talking points which indicated that you are…

6) Judge Alito, you’ve said many times in these hearings that the President is not above the law. If the President sent you a nice fruit basket and personally invited you for a weekend of “carousing” at his ranch in Crawford, would that change your mind? If yes, could we change it back by inviting you on our next “investigation” of how legalized prostitution in Nevada impacts the national economy? We promise that you and Senator Dick “Tiny” Durban wouldn’t have to sit next to each other on the plane ride out…

7) Judge Alito, what am I gonna have to say here to make your wife cry again?

After listening to a few hours of the interrogation, your Maximum Leader isn’t really sure that thse haven’t already been asked…

Carry on.