Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had a great weekend. He went to a great wedding and had a fantastic time. (NB to Steve & Catherine: If you are reading this… Why? You’re in Hawaii now supposedly having lots of sex and periodically going to the beach…) Your Maximum Leader also had a fine time with his villainous progeny. Lots of fun there too. Mostly indoor stuff as it was raining. But fun nonetheless. (The Villainettes convinced your Maximum Leader to join them on a Girl Scouts camping trip in a few weeks. So it will be a family affair - as Mrs Villain is the troop leader.)

Last night your Maximum Leader tried out a new spinach recipe. Basically you take a large bag of frozen spinach and put it in a pot with three-four cups of water. Bring water & spinach to boil. As soon as the water boils remove the spinach, but retain the boiling water. Add rice to the water and cook. In the meanwhile, right before the rice is done, put the spinach into a skillet with a few tablespoons of olive oil and a clove of crushed garlic. Heat up your spinach. When the rice is done and the spinach is steaming - put a few tablespoons of pine nuts in the spinach. Place rice on your plate. Spoon spinach on top of the rice. Top lightly with grated parmesan cheese. This went very well with a baked chicken. Your Maximum Leader can also imagine this side with a number of fish dishes as well…

Your Maximum Leader would exhort you to pray for the health of Keith Richards. But unless you worship Satan he’s not sure the prayers would do much good. Isn’t there a little irony in the fact that decades of drugs, alcohol and hedonism can’t do in Keith Richards; but a fall out of a palm tree can fell the man whom your Maximum Leader thought would outlive the rest of the human race…

Your Maximum Leader reads on the AP news wire that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has written a letter to President Bush. The AP is reporting that President Ahmadinejad is offering “new solutions” to the problems the international community is having with his nation’s nuclear program. Your Maximum Leader has it on good authority that President Ahmadinejad has made the following demands, which if they are met, Iran will abandon their nuclear program.

1) The FBI arrest then drag out and shoot Kevin Federline. It seems that KFed’s career is keeping President Ahamdinejad’s recording career from taking off.
2) Require that the FCC make Oprah wear a burkha and be more obeidient to the wishes of Dr. Phil.
3) Send President Ahmadinejad a few kilos of whatever Tom Cruise is on. If it is Katie Holmes’ placenta, well then just knock that girl up again…
4) Nuke Israel.
5) Require that President Bush and President Jacques Chirac of France have a summit where they kiss and make up.
6) Send Jenna Bush to Tehran to party like its 1999 with “Big Mahmoud and the Mullahs.”
7) Foce Katie Couric to stay on Today. Mahmoud really likes that Katie/Matt Lauer banter every day. (But if you could permenantly replace Ann Curry with that super-hot Campbell Brown… Grrrrr….) Set President Admadinejad up with Maureen Dowd. He thinks her whining and carrying on just make her adorable.
9) Require the US Supreme Court to use Sharia when interpreting the Constitution.
10) Have the US crawl into a great dark hole and ignore their role on the world stage.

Your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that these demands will go far… But it is a start.

Carry on.