Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the Brits are taking the security of their sovereign monarch seriously for once. It seems as though Santa Claus has been arrested at Buckingham Palace and charged with causing criminal damage and creating a public nusiance.

In this respect, Santa now joins the illustrious ranks of Batman & Robin, Spiderman, and the late Princess Diana as people who have caused a disturbance at the Palace.

It seems as though Santa was protesting for more rights for divorced and separated fathers in Britain. And who knew that his long-lasting marriage to Mrs. Claus (a firery-redhead if the photos are to be believed) was on the rocks? Your Maximum Leader supposes the Heat Miser will have a shot at Mrs. Claus before too long.

And your Maximum Leader supposes that HM the Queen will be getting coal for Christmas.

Carry on.