It’s June 14, which gives all loyal minions only a single day to craft or purchase or slaughter their tributes for the Maximum Leader, who enjoys a glorious birthday on June 15.

Send him scads of porn. No, wait– he gets plenty of spam to that effect as it is… as do we all, and gloriously so. So if you’re a female blogger, send him a flash of your skin. I’m sure his wife will love that.

Write your Maximum Leader a poem*. Preferably one about the continued abasement of dwarves.

Send him some homemade cookies. He and his Villainous Family will dig those.

Send him a link to something so-veddy-British. I doubt he’ll be able to resist posting the link, along with a Maximum Leaderly acknowledgement of the sender (unless, of course, the sender is a dwarf).

Send him excerpts from Democratic Underground. They’re bound to make him laugh. Or send him an actual Democrat. Especially if the Dem is a dwarf. I hear the Maximum Leader has a special truncheon reserved for that species.

But whatever you do, do it fast. People who fail to provide tribute on the 15th will, of course, be summarily executed. Have a nice day.

*Annika– Wednesday is Poetry Day!

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