Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, while not specifically “tagged” for this “meme” thingie has decided to participate nonetheless. Here are your Maximum Leader’s thoughts on many things Christmas.

Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Egg nog. With bourbon. Lots and lots of bourbon.
Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa sets presents under the tree. Santa doesn’t have ready access to the myriad illegals needed to wrap every present for every girl and boy.
Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White on tree. None on house. Lights on house seem petty and bourgoise.
Do you hang mistletoe?
From your Maximum Leader’s enormous… Ahem… No. No mistletoe is hanged a the Villainschloss.
When do you put your decorations up?
If it was up to your Maximum Leader, they would not go up until about two weeks before Christmas and they would come down after the Epiphany. As it is, Mrs Villain is a much more festive person than is your Maximum Leader. So the decorations go up during the weekend of Thanksgiving and stay up until the Epiphany.
What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Roast beef. Yorkshire pudding. You know, the traditional stuff.
Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Your Maximum Leader is embarassed to say that he doesn’t have many distinct holiday memories. At least nothing that stands out in a meaningful way.
When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Your Maximum Leader seems to remember that the might have stumbled upon some gifts in a parental hiding place. Then on Christmas the presents appeared “from Santa.” Your Maximum Leader started to think about how this could be and put two and two together. This might have been around age 7 or 8.
Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
NO! NO! And Hell No! It is wrong to open Christmas gifts earlier than Christmas. Your Maximum Leader has gotten more adamant about this point since he’s been a parent.
How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
Your Maximum Leader tries to avoid decorating the tree. Mrs Villain and the Villainettes do the decorating. The “style” is a hodgepodge of different ornaments collected over many years. The tasteful ones tend to be from Mrs Villain. The home-made ones (which are quite dear to your Maximum Leader) are from the Villainettes. The tacky ones (like the two Elvis ornaments) are your Maximum Leader’s.
Snow! Love it or dread it?
Your Maximum Leader loves it. He doesn’t particularly care to drive in it. But snow, and winter in general, are important. They balance out the heat of the summer and keep your Maximum Leader’s “wa” in balance.
Can you ice skate?
Not very well. At one point your Maximum Leader thought he wanted to be a hockey player. Then he learned he wasn’t a particularly adept skater. He also didn’t have the willpower to keep practicing. So he pretty much sucks at skating.
Do you remember your favorite gift?
It was the iPod he received last year.
What‚Äö?Ñ?¥s the most important thing about the holidays for you?
Aww… How mushy… It is being with family and seeing the joy in his children’s faces.
What is your favorite holiday dessert?
Humm… Pie. Your Maximum Leader is very partial to fruit pies.
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Reading the Nativity story from Luke’s Gospel Christmas morning.
What tops your tree?
A large white star.
Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
Your Maximum Leader will answer honestly and say receiving. Mainly because he has a large Amazon wish list and just refers gift givers there. So he generally gets things he’s interested in. People who don’t make “gifting” easy (by telling you what they would like or setting up a wish list somewhere) can be quite tiresome for your Maximum Leader. He is not of the school where trying to “match” the perfect gift to the right person is a fun activity. It is a taxing endeavour fraught with anxiety.
What is your favorite Christmas song?
That is a toughie. He likes Adeste Fideles (in Latin), It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, and Good King Wenceslas.
Candy canes?
Crushed and mixed into white chocolate. That is the only way to eat them.
Favorite Christmas movie?
The Lion In Winter.
What do you leave for Santa?
The Villainettes leave homemade toffee, homemade cookies, and egg nog. Your Maximum Leader leaves a glass of scotch. You know… To take the edge off the cold…

There you have it loyal minions. You now know all you ever wanted to know about your Maximum Leader and Christmas. (And your Maximum Leader has a post that is both topical and long…)

Carry on.