The Big Hominid has occasionally inspired me to pen a few rather awful haikus.

Those of you who remember my Dan Rather ode probably wish you didn’t.

But I have found my true poetry hero: William Topaz McGonagall of Dundee, Scotland, renowned as the Worst Poet in the History of the World.

It’s good to have a goal
Mine is loftier than being a blog troll
I may leave odd comments for Ally, Kilgore, or Bill
But - I’d like to point out - entirely of my own free will
I try never to speak ill
Though it might be a thrill
To roast muddle-headed idjits (with, may I say, a fair amount of skill)
Nay - I may blog on the side
But that’s just part of the ride
I really yearn to be like William Topaz McGonagall,
With a passion close to monomaniacal,
To feel the recognition of my peers
(Though tempered by jeers)
As they delight in my words of dogerrel,
And say: Smallholder ’tis a right McGonagall!