Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thinks you have some time to kill and figures he’ll suggest a few quizzes a give you a meme to review to take up some of your time…
First… The meme… Because all the cool kids are doing it.
It is the average American Meme. All the items listed are things that apply to average Americans. The ones crossed out are the ones that do not apply to your Maximum Leader. Pithy commentary in italics.
Eats peanut butter at least once a week. Your Maximum Leader had to think hard on this one, but then realized that in fact it has been about three weeks since he’s had peanut butter. (But only about 3 hours since he ate some peanuts.)
Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky. Your Maximum Leader thinks chunky peanut butter is positively barbaric.
Can name all Three Stooges. But why would you want to. The Marx Brothers are far superior.
Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart.
Eats at McDonald’s at least once a year. With little kids who think that McDonalds is the finest of all eateries…
Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day Likes to take much longer showers.
Never sings in the shower. You wouldn’t want to listen when he does.
Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium.
Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000.
Has fired a gun. He even owns a few.
Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall Six foot three actually.
Weighs 135 to 205 pounds Humm… 205 lbs… When was your Maximum Leader last 205 lbs? He thinks it was his sophomore year of college.
Is between the ages of 18 and 53.
Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option. Absolutely.
Grew up within 50 miles of current home Just barely out of range actually. Well, it depends on how you parse this. If you go by actual driving route, then you exceed 50 miles. If you go the way the bird flies, he might come in just under 50.
And two quizzes below the fold…
Otherwise…
You are Leviticus.
Which book of the Bible are you?
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Quiz number duo:
Whether you harbor some vestige of modernist
morality or simply fail to see the irony in
Reality TV, one thing is clear. You are just
Not Postmodern.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
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Carry on.
