Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees signs everywhere. What sort of signs you may be asking yourself? Afterall we see street signs, billboard signs, lighted signs, and hand signal signs everywhere. Well, loyal readers, the signs your Maximum Leader sees are those signs that portent the end of Western Civilization as we know it.

The latest sign… From Reuters: Hundreds expected to come at masterbate-a-thon.

Okay… First off… The sexual double entendre is a bit much even for your Maximum Leader - who’s been known to indulge in a little sexual double entendreing from time to time. But once you get past the headline and article you have to just wonder what the hell is going on in the world?

Here is the article with pithy commentary from your Maximum Leader:

LONDON (Reuters) - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe’s first “Masturbate-a-thon”, a leading reproductive healthcare charity said on Friday.

Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Saturday.

Only 200? All masturbating together? Note to Londoner friends of your Maximum Leader - wear Haz-mat suits in Clerkenwell area for next few weeks.

“It is a bit of a publicity stunt but we hope it will raise awareness,” a Marie Stopes spokeswoman told Reuters.

“We want to get people talking about safer sex, masturbation and to lift taboos.”

It would seem as though the aim of the Masturbate-a-thon is to have people do more than talk about safe sex…

Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms — a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas.

They have to be over 18? Isn’t the age of consent in Britain something like 16? And frankly, wouldn’t you want to target the promiscuous teenagers who most need this type of “dicussion.”

However, the rules on the event’s Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms.

Why is this not reassuring? Yo can’t touch others. Leering is appropriate - presumably.”

The amount you raise will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve,” the Web site said.

The Marie Stopes spokeswoman said local religious groups had been initially outraged, but after people had heard what the event was about, most had approved it.

Police had also given it their approval.

Lovely… Sponsored orgasms. That is a pledge sheet your Maximum Leader is sure one would like to carry around the office. “Hey Bill… Will you pledge $5 for every time I ‘beat the bishop’ if you know what I mean…. And speaking of bishops… Local religious groups stopped their objections once they heard the event was for HIV awareness? Well… One wonders if they would be willing to suspend the 10 Commandments for a good cause? The Golden Rule would go by the wayside for a good pancake dinner… Would a Muslim be allowed to forsake a Haj just to participate in an infidel-sponsored multicultural event? It boggles the mind.

Similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years raising $25,000 (13,000 pounds) for women’s health initiatives and HIV prevention. If successful, Marie Stopes said it could take place elsewhere in mainland Europe next year.

Well… It doesn’t shock your Maximum Leader to learn that this fundraiser had its genesis in the US. In fact it is somewhat comforting to know that we in the US can continue to lead the world in the breaking down of sexual taboos that shouldn’t be broken down. One wonders if other EU countries will clamour over the right to host next year’s Masterbate-a-thon.

And lest you think your Maximum Leader is a complete prude… He will go on record declaring that he has nothing against Onanism. Frankly… How or if one chooses to satisfy one’s self sexually is not much of your Maximum Leader’s business. But public masturbation? Masterbation is something that ought to be kept private and personal.

Carry on.