Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must make a confession. He reads the lovely (and ideologically pure) Annika’s site every day. (Do you? You should. Here’s a link for you.)

Anyway…

Something has been bothering your Maximum Leader for WEEKS now about Annika’s site. That damned Fash-ism poll near the top of the sidebar. What the hell are some of those things?

Your Maximum Leader knows they are all footwear. He understands basic pumps and boots. But what for the love of your Maximum Leader are: Mary Janes, d’Orsay pumps, t-straps (which sound quite sexy btw), peep toes, slingbacks, strappy sandals (which sound sexy in a granola-crunchy-Greatful-Dead-chicka way), kitten slides, and mules (which don’t sound sexy at all).

Your Maximum Leader probably could have figured all these things out for himself had he wanted to spend some time googling these terms. But instead your Maximum Leader chose to continue to let his ire grow. Finally this past weekend, your Maximum Leader asked Mrs. Villain and his Villainous Sister-in-law (who by the way used to be a buyer for Lee Jeans, and Liz Claiborne - and has lots of experience in couture) what the heck these footwear items were.

Your Maximum Leader now knows what a Mary Jane is. (It turns out that the Princess Villainette likes Mary Janes.) And they could also help with a Mule. (It seems as though the Princess Villainette also has a pair of Mules. As does the Villainous Sister-in-law.) They couldn’t help with the other stuff.

So your Maximum Leader asks you… What are these other things?

Your Maximum Leader will inquire of Annika as well. But he is befuddled.

And while your Maximum Leader is on the subject of Fashion. (A subject of which he admittedly knows little.) For how long has there been some sort of cosmic divide between “Levi’s People” and “Wrangler People?” Great Jeezey Chreezey people! They are just jeans! Your Maximum Leader got a lecture from a minion over the weekend the jist of which was that one couldn’t be a good conservative and wear Levi’s too. Wranglers were the jeans of conservatives.

Well, your Maximum Leader had never heard this before. Your Maximum Leader, by the way, is a Levi’s man. He doesn’t own but two pairs of jeans, and they are both (and have always been) Levi’s 501 button-fly jeans. ALWAYS. (Okay, maybe not always. But certainly since your Maximum Leader had a say in what clothes he wore this has been true.)

So could someone please clue in your Maximum Leader on the whole jeans issue here too? Throw your Maximum Leader a frickin’ bone here. He is Maximum Leader afterall. How can your Maximum Leader allow a seemingly crucial issue to the great masses of the unwashed minions go un-noticed?

Anyway… If some minon(s) care to opine on this, they have your Maximum Leader’s attention.

Carry on.