Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should spend more time reading French tabloids. It would have the dual salutary affect of improving his meagre French skills as well as keep him up to speed on which unmarried Royals are going around fathering bastard sons by Air France flight attendants.

Albert, your Maximum Leader hardly knew ye! Your Maximum Leader expected that you got around, but he always assumed that you were “protected” against “that” sort of “thing” happening. This isn’t the middle ages and all when Kings and Princes had whole divisions of bastard sons. (Like Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond and Somerset.) That said, your Maximum Leader is happy that you passed along that elusive Grimaldi “Y” chromosome. Will the little one grow up to be “Count So and So” or “Margrave Such and Such.” Who knows?

Anyhow… This settles a long-standing wager between Mrs. Villain and your Maximum Leader. She thought that a handsome, put-together guy like Prince Albert would have married years ago - unless he was gay. Mrs. Villain became convinced that the Prince was gay. Your Maximum Leader always believed that Albert just wanted to “play the field.” It seems that the field was played indeed.

Carry on.