If Your Maximum Leader Could Vote…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, while an Anglophile, is not a citizen of the United Kingdom. And insofar as he knows that precludes him from hopping on a plane and going over the that septre’d isle and voting in the upcoming general election.

Excursus: Of course, we seem to let illegal immigrants vote in US elections. So maybe your Maximum Leader COULD go and vote in the UK. Perhaps he’d goto Epping and vote. (Could he write in Winston Churchill?) Or even better! Old Sarum.

Anyway. After seeing results at Col. Blimp’s site and Misspent’s site. He thought he’d just take this quiz for the fun of it.

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for?

Your expected outcome:

Conservative

Your actual outcome:

Labour -14
Conservative 51
Liberal Democrat -48
UK Independence Party 38
Green -15

You should vote: Conservative

The Conservative Party is strongly against joining the Euro and against greater use of taxation to fund public services. The party broadly supported the Iraq war and backs greater policing and ID cards. The Tories are against increasing the minimum wage above the rate of inflation, and have committed to abolishing university tuition fees. They support ‘virtual vouchers’ for private education.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Results were as expected…

Carry on.

Thoughts On Tom DeLay.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has decided to finally weigh in on the whole Tom DeLay ethics hullabaloo going on.

Lets start with some background if you will… First off, as you are probably aware, Washington DC is a political town. Sure, politics doesn’t drive the local economy like it did when your Maximum Leader was growing up and learning how to be a villain. But politics is still THE business in Washington.

Politics, as you all know, is all about power. And getting, using, and thwarting power is what Washington is all about.

Now, almost like Las Vegas, what happens in DC may only be news in DC. In the great expanse of our United States, most people don’t give a damn about what power plays transpire in Washington DC. The great majority of people, of all political stripes, would prefer that our elected representatives just go to DC and do whatever it is they do to keep the government going, lower taxes, provide free stuff, and give the appearance of “working.”

Of course, politicians despise real work and would prefer to gain pleasure from acquiring, building up, and using power in their sphere of influence.

To rise to the top of the greasy pole in Washington DC you have to have a number of character traits. You have to be so ambitious it would make Shakespeare’s Caesar blush. (Indeed, it would make the great republican Romans need to pony-up to the vomitorium.) You have to be self-confident enough that a mere mortal would use the term “narcissist” to describe you. (That is if most people knew what a narcissist was.) And you have to be particularly craven in pursuit of your goals. Oh yeah, and you have to WANT power. WANT it so badly that in fact it the hunger for power - the WANTING - can only be describing in writing with the use of all caps.

Did your Maximum Leader mention that you also have to be particularly broad-minded when it comes to GASOE. What is/are GASOE? They are Generally Accepted Stadards Of Ethics.

Now…

Tom DeLay is a classic Texas politician. He has more ambition in one drop of blood than the Smallholder has in his entire body. He is so narcissistic that Paris Hilton looks positively modest. And he has WANTED power.

And as it turns out, he is very broadminded when it comes to GASOE. At least as far as campaigning, politics, and self-advancement comes into play.

Now you are likely saying to yourself, “Self, why is my Maximum Leader so down on Tom DeLay?” Well, don’t concern your pretty little minionly head about that. Your Maximum Leader actually isn’t down on Tom DeLay at all. Indeed, he is generally (let’s say about 60% of the time) in agreement with Mr. DeLay on political issues. And furthermore, your Maximum Leader thinks that on the balance he is exactly the type of person one would want as their party leader in a legislative body like the House of Representatives.

Your Maximum Leader has, even in his reasonably short life, seen many men just like Tom DeLay in Washington DC. The first three that jump into his mind are Jim Wright, Newt Gingrich, and Dan Rostentowski. (Okay, Rosty is a low blow as he actually did illegal things… But Wright and Gingrich are good examples here.)

From a reading of the major newspapers around the country one would think that Tom DeLay is a criminal of the first degree and deserving of nothing but scorn and mockery by all. He has been admonished by the House Ethics Committee. He has forced a rule change which is the cause celebre that now keeps the Democratic members of the Ethics Committee from letting the committee organize and do business. He has employed family members and paid them. And he is under investigation by a District Attorney in his home state for violating campaign laws in Texas.

Tom DeLay, from a cursory reading of the news, appears to be damaged goods.

Really the heart of the problem is something else. The problem with Tom DeLay is that he is remarkably effective at what he does. He is remarkably effective at what he does in the same way that Wright and Gingrich were effective at their jobs.

You see, the House of Representatives is, unlike the Senate of the United States, a majority rules type of place. In the House the majority party can run roughshod over the minority party. The majority party can make what rules it wants, decide what agenda it wants to pursue, and pretty much do as it pleases. Pretty much the minority party has to sit around and take it.

Admittedly this is a little simplified, but not too simplified. It should be noted that in order to run a body like the House of Representatives, you need a “take charge” type of fellow. Someone who will keep party discipline. Someone who will set the tone and tell the naysayers to bugger off.

Tom DeLay is that man.

Now. There comes a time in the course of things were the minority party just can’t take being bent over and sodomized every day, day in and day out. When the minority party gets to this point, two things happen. First, they forget that according to the rules of the game they have no “rights” to speak of. And second, the investigations begin. (By the way, it took 50 years for the Republicans to reach that point and fewer that 12 for Democrats… So say what you will about sodomy and Republicans…)

The minority party, in an attempt to stand up for their “rights” as a minority party, decide to start throwing the book at the person they see as their chief oppressor. In this case, that person is Tom DeLay.

The Democrats hate Tom DeLay. They hate him because he runs the House the way he wants to run the House. He doesn’t seek their counsel. He doesn’t seek to “get along.” He doesn’t seek to be friendly after 5:00pm. He wants to kick the Democrat’s soft teeth down their whiny throats; and make them like it. Indeed, your Maximum Leader believes that DeLay probably took lessons in running the House from the ghosts of long-dead Democrats who ran the House in the same fashion for half a century.

So after a few years of being puhed around, the Democrats have forgotten that they aren’t in the Senate (where the minority does have “rights” by custom) and they need to assert their “rights.” There are only two ways they can do this. The first is to buck-up, get an agenda and start winning elections. (But that is hard and the voters are so persnickedy about things.) The second is to ruin the leader of the majority party and thereby force a period of calm and politeness on the House.

This is what the Democrats are doing. They are going after Tom DeLay as hard as they can. If they bring the business of the House of Representatives to a screeching halt, well that is just the price you have to pay for justice. The playbook requires that once the Democrats go down this path they can’t let up until Tom DeLay is either out of the Republican Leadership - or preferably out of the House of Representatives itself.

Now allow your Maximum Leader to say something else here. After reading the various newspaper and blog reports on this whole matter, he doesn’t think that Tom DeLay has done anything that the majority of House members don’t do on a regular basis. And going further, your Maximum Leader believes that every member of the House Leadership of BOTH parties has done much of (if not all of) what DeLay is accused of doing. (Indeed Nancy Pelosi was just fined $28,000 by the FEC for accepting and distributing illegal campaign contributions through a PAC she controls.) Furthermore, your Maximum Leader doesn’t believe that anything we’ve heard so far is an offence so grievous that DeLay should have to give up his leadership position or his seat in the House.

But the Democrats will continue to press this matter. They will fight and fight and fight. They will push the whole issue until the House can do nothing but talk about what should be done to Tom DeLay. And that is the point. The fact that Tom DeLay may in fact have done nothing wrong or illegal has no bearing in this whole situation. All that matters is that he lose.

Just like the Republicans did with Jim Wright. And the Democrats did before with Newt Gingrich.

Now you may be putting on your noble Roman look and saying to yourself, “Self, if what my Maximum Leader is saying is true (as it undoubtedly is) then doesn’t Tom DeLay have a duty to do the right thing and resign? Fall on his sword as it were? Step aside and let the nation’s business be done?”

There you are wrong my minions. Tom DeLay has a duty to his party and to the House of Representatives to fight until he lies choking on his own blood upon the floor. (Proverbially.)

DeLay’s duty now is to keep the House running and at the same time fight every accusation, counter every claim, and give in equal measure to what he gets. He has to make the whole proceeding bloody and difficult and unpleasant. This will assure two outcomes. The first is that he will lose his leadership post. The second is that it will keep all members of all parties honest for a while. They will all remember how bad it was when… And the memory will keep anyone else from trying it for a while.

But, before too long, it will be a Democrat on the receiving end of this whole process.

And when that time comes, your Maximum Leader will recommend the same course to them.

Carry on.

What Is Ye? Ignin’t?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must ask the people of the great state of Wisconsin (and others around the nation who have spoken out) what the hell is on their minds?

It seems that public outcry and the general consternation of cat lovers everywhere has caused Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle to declare that the proposed law allowing the killing of feral cats to be “going nowhere.”

In the linked article a state Senator says that the bill was a distraction from the main tasks at hand in the Wisconsin legislature.

What distraction? Feral cats are a nusance to livestock, poultry, birds, small mammals, and other “real” wild animals. Perhaps there should be a surtax on owning cats, the proceeds of which can be given to farmers who have chickens or other livestock killed by feral cats. Or how about you have PETA come to Wisconsin and trap feral cats and move them to Saskatoon where they will have more space to roam? Or even better, how about feral cat supporters be forced to adopt 10 feral cats and keep them as housepets.

These are FERAL CATS people! Does anyone know what the hell that means? If your Maximum Leader needs to illustrate the point… Imagine you are a cat owner okay… Now, go and look at Snowball V there in the window seat in your front room. Snowball has nice clean fur. His claws are well kept and short. He is healthy (and perhaps a little pudgy). He urinates and defecates in his litter box. And from time to time he likes to leave his sunny seat among the defenbachia plants and come up to you and purr a little bit. Snowball V is a pleasant domesticated cat.

If Snowball V was a feral cat… He wouldn’t sit in the window seat. He would tear it to shreds. His fur is matted and coarse with debris from running through underbrush. His claws are razor sharp killing machines. He is a lean mean hunting machine. He craves food all the time. He urinates and defecates anywhere he pleases (it is nature after all). His fecal matter is crawling with nasty intestinal worms and parasites. And from time to time he likes nothing better than to use your leg/arms/face as a sharpening stone for his claws. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has seen beef go through a meat-grinder and come out looking better than you would if stuck in a house with a feral cat.

We’re not talking about armed posses roaming the streets of Madison with shotguns looking to take out your prized Siamese here. We’re talking about a farmer on his land noticing a cat he’s never seen before stalking his chickens and taking action.

Your Maximum Leader realizes that agriculture and farm life posts are normally the domain of the Smallholder, but this actually has him a little put out. The people who are horrified about this feral cat killing law are the same people (generally) who want to minimize the impact of mankind on nature.

What could be more disruptive to nature than introducing a non-native predator species - and then refusing to do anything about it? Really? What? Have you ever heard of the Guam Broadbill? No? Check it out. Why is the Guam Broadbill endangered? Why the Brown Tree Snake of course. And where does the Brown Tree Snake come from? Try Austrailia, the Solomons, and New Guinea.

Feral cats are a real problem. It is time that Wisconsin, and other states for that matter, take reasonable steps to eliminate the problem.

Carry on.

age Match

Ye Gods! You pro-wrestling fans out there in the blogosphere seem to love a good no-holds barred match. The Maximum Leader’s Smackdown title garnered a fair amount of attention - even the illustrious Rusty Shackleford stood up and took notice.

Many of you will remember that the good Brian B. took me to the woodshed a while back.

So here is your humble Smallholder’s response.

Let the fisking begin!

But first, a disclaimer:

Those of you looking for mudslinging ought to take your rubber-necking heiniees hence - the good Brian B. is a gentleman with whom it is a pleasure to disagree - a fellow who supports his statements with facts. Although he has strong opinions, he shows the hallmark of true intelligence - when confronted with new evidence, he is quite capable of changing those positions upon reconsideration, despite the rather cryptic references to the contrary. Principled people do have a set of “first principles;” when shown that an opinion comes into conflict with those root touchstones, principled people will either change their opinions or rethink their touchstones. So much of the ugliness of political and intellectual life is the result of many people refusing to entertain the idea that they might not be 100% right (holding onto the the soothing falsehood that everyone else is 100% wrong). I am happy that there are some wonderful, thoughtful people in the blogosphere with whom I often disagree. They challenge me to rethink and refine my own positions, changing them as warranted.

Back to the regularly scheduled fisking:

Smallholder
Every morning, after I’ve checked my comments and my
trackbacks and my email, the very first other Blog I usually go read is Naked
Villainy. Maximum Leader has a real talent for writing and is an erudite fellow.
Smallholder is equally interesting to read, as he has knowledge of arcane
subjects which I find interesting — agriculture, etc. And while I usually
disagree with his political views, I respect him for being a man of convictions.
He has extended me the same courtesy. Today I feel the need to take greater
exception than normal with one of his posts, and to more mildly disagree with
two others.

Well, we seem to have a regular mutual admiration society going on. I am particularly glad that someone out there likes the occasional agriculture post. I suspect that the vast majority of our readership comes to Nakedvillainy for the Maximum Leader’s conservative essays that are leavened with my own T.R. Progressivism (Not to be confused with moonbat “progressivism,” bitte schon). I write about farming when the horticultural muse smiles upon her loyal servant, so it is nice to hear that some folks enjoy my wee posts.

The post with which I take exception is this dig at the
Pope
. Now, I’m not one to fall back merely on the defense “Don’t speak ill
of the dead”. I’ll speak ill of those deserving ill speech, and speak well of
those deserving praise, be they dead or alive. What I do find troublesome about
the post is argument that the Pope’s decision about his own death is somehow
incongruous with JP II’s stance on the Terri Schiavo case.

Now, if I agreed with Smallholder on every point of the Schiavo case, I’d
have to agree with him about the Pope. But I don’t. I don’t necessarily
disagree, I just don’t agree. For the Pope’s stance to have been hypocritical,
Il Papa would have had to reach the same conclusion that Terri was dead and
unsaveable. Take SH’s comment Surely he had more “life” to be held in sanctity
than a woman with spinal fluid where her cerebral cortex ought to have been.
While this conclusion is Smallhoder’s firm assertion, while it is Michael
Schiavo’s firm conviction, and while it was the judge’s firm conviction and thus
legal ruling, it was not an undisputed point. A great many people did not
believe this to be the case, and for them, there is no moral conflict between a
desire to give Teri a chance and a personal choice not to prolong their own
lives past hope. The crux of the matter is that if you don’t believe Terri
needed heroic measures (whether you were correct in this belief or not), then
that’s different from choosing to forego heroic measures.

One source of Brian’s discomfiture with my posts may be perceived tone. The problem with the flat medium of blogging - and writing in general - is that it is not accompanied by voice and facial expression, two of the ways which we as humans determine the intent of speakers. Good writers overcome these deficiencies. I’m not a good writer. My intent was not to issue a dig at the recently deceased. I was simply commenting on the apparent (to me alone, perhaps?) discontinuity between the public and private death policies of the papacy. I was somewhat surprised that the Pope, who always struck me as someone who lived his convictions (witness his endurance of Parkinson’s over the years), seemed not to follow those policies to the bitter end.

I did not always agree with the Pope.

I’m not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the Catholic party.

As someone concerned about suffering around the world, I believe that the Catholic church’s refusal to support birth control is a bad position. I’m not willing to call it criminal like the dyspeptic Skippy, but I do think is it wrongheaded. I think the Pope’s stands on women, gays, and priestly celibacy rely far too much on the misogyny of Paul and far too little on the compassionate, revolutionary equality of humankind preached by Jesus. But I’m willing to acknowledge that the Catholic position is closer to original Christianity than my own modernist libertine Episcopalianism. Perhaps the cause of the church would be advanced by a more inclusive approach, although that course has its share of risks too, if the church strays too far from its historical heritage - I’m not advocating the Vatican Rag.

This respectful disagreement brings me back to the tone issue. I did not mean to mock John Paul II. I apologize for not choosing my words more carefully.

But my critique of the Pope’s handling of Schiavo stands (at least partially). I have since learned that the Pope’s position against the removal of the feeding tube was at odds with official church policy. Since he was not speaking ex cathedra, his opposition to letting Terri’s body die would not be considered by many to be covered by the papal cloak of infallibility.

Bill defends the Pope as having a different interpretation of Terri’s saveability (is that a word?). Brian correctly points out that “great many” people disagree with my contention that a lack of a cerebral cortex is synonymous with brain death. He acknowledges that the next of kin and the legal establishment - on 34 occasion before nine different presiding judges (plus the Supremes) appointed by both Republican and Democratic presidents - but forgets that the legal establishment’s decision was based on the overwhelming testimony of the medical community - with the only two dissents coming from individuals, paid for by the Schindlers, who could not produce any medical literature to support their wishful diagnoses.

This is America, so a “great many” people have a right to their opinions. But the great many people were not basing their belief in Terri’s awareness on any medical evidence.

All opinions are not equal.

Let me once again emphasize the fact that Americans are entitled to their opinions. We live in a free society.
But leaders have a greater duty to ascertain the facts than the “blissful” public. If one is going to make statements about public policy, due diligence requires you to make a real effort to understand the issue.

This is why Bill Frist’s “diagnosis” was particularly appalling. As a doctor, he understands what a lack of a cerebral cortex means.

The blogosphere troubled me as well. Brian rightly notes that the real dividing line between the sides in the Schiavo case was each side’s interpretation of whether or not she was alive. If you had decided that she is dead, the argument is not about Terri but the intrusion of big brother on private family decisions. If you believed she was alive, you were morally obligated to try to prevent her murder.

He’s right.

But here’s my problem: I don’t believe that it was reasonable for any person who had read the medical reports and legal decisions to conclude that she was alive.

Many bloggers, when directed to the medical findings and court transcripts, simply chose to ignore the facts in order to keep the fire of their righteous anger alive. Many even resorted to magical thinking: “Well, the doctors, including those whose own defense in a malpractice suit made minimizing the extent of Terri’s injury a self-interested goal, were all bought off by Micheal Schiavo, who spent the huge sums of money necessary to get doctors to assent to murder, in order to inherit a rapidly declining amount of money. And the bribery began even before Micheal himself gave up hope on Terri. And Micheal must be trying to cover up abuse that had never been raised by Terri’s family (check their website - they were quite canny in avoiding making any actionable libelous statements while winking at the horrible lies spread by their supporters).

Magical thinking

A person’s birthright. Whether the thinking is about Schiavo, creationism, or the utopian socialist future - it’s a birthright.

But magical thinking is a sin for people who aspire to lead.

The Pope, as the head of a powerful organization (perhaps even the member of the Queen/Colonel triumverate), had the ability to find out the true nature of Terri’s injury, unclouded by the delusional rhetoric of pro-life leaders. But he chose, against the dogma of his own church, to argue that the removal of the feeding tube was tantamount to murder. Now, perhaps the Pope made a calculated decision to strengthen pro-life forces in the United States - if you believe that abortion is murder, what is one little lie when you have a chance to save hundreds of thousands of lives?

I’d do it.

But I would expect more from the Pontiff.

Furthermore, there is the question of whether or not the choice made for
Terri was her own. Again, Smallholder believes it was. Many do not. While that
assertion is open to debate, the Popes decision on his own behalf is not.

Actually, I believe that it doesn’t matter. If a person does not have a living will, their next of kin - in this case the spouse - is legally entitled to decide. I did discuss the issue of Terri’s wishes as a way to demonstrate the biased interpretations of the Save Terri supporters. The only people who claimed that Terri would want to live in that situation were her parents - who also admitted that they didn’t really care what Terri wanted - they would keep her on life support anyway. And Mrs. Schindler’s “recollection” of a conversation with Terri over the Quindlan case was chock full of inconsistencies and counter-factual statements. She was destroyed on cross. But really, legally it didn’t matter.

My point in that brief paragraph was that the Pope should have been consistent - his opposition to letting Terri die, as far as I know, was not based on her wishes - the church believes you don’t have the right to take your own life. By refusing last-ditch medical maintenance for himself, he was doing exactly what he wanted to prevent being done for Terri.

Finally, I find this comment troubling: But perhaps, at the very end, he realized he could not follow those convictions into a prolonged eath struggle.

Two points. First, I do think that this is a bit if an unkind dig at a man who
was dealing with a terrible illness, an illness I hope Smallholder never
suffers. Secondly, I seem to recall that many of those who agree with
Smallholder regarding the Schiavo case (and perhaps even SH himself, I can’t
remember) argued that the efforts to keep Terri alive were motivated by a fear
of death, an unwillingness to accept immortality. But this comment seems to
imply that JP II’s decision was to embrace death out of a fear of facing
prolonged suffering in life. So my question to Smallholder, and to other
potential Papal detractors, is this: If is was cowardice to prolong life, and it
was cowardice to refrain prolonging life, how was His Holiness to please you?
Not that that was ever his goal….

The issue was not intended as a dig, just a statement about human frailty that I wanted to hold in contrast with the arrogance of deciding what’s right for another person. In fact, I was more disappointed in the apparent contradiction in the Pope’s thought processes because I held the Pope’s moral convictions in such high esteem. When Randall Terry makes an ass of himself about the Schiavo case, it’s just part of the background noise because no one respects his moral convictions.

I don’t believe that I ever made the “fear of death” part of my argument. My problem was with the selfishness of parents who refused to accept reality. But if I had, I’m not sure that I would agree with the conflation of fear of death and fear of suffering. If people make other people suffer because they are afraid of confronting their own mortality, that is cruel cowardice. If people decide that their fear of their own suffering is greater than their own fear of death, that’s their decision to make. I don’t think the Pope feared death. I imagine he welcomed it and looked forward to heaven with a peaceful confidence.

It ought not to be the Pope’s job to please me.

But he ought to please God. When I believe that his doctrines do not please God, as a Christian I ought to be displeased. Luckily for everyone, my displeasure rarely takes any substantive form. After all, very few jihadis launch their crusade with “Cake or death?” as we Episcopalians are wont to do.

Brian then moves on to take exception to another of my posts:

As for the media. Smallholder would sarcastically have us believe that current news
coverage of the awarding of a Congressional Medal of Honor is proof that the
Media is not biased in its coverage of Iraq. I shall avoid relying solely on the
old maxim that the exception proves the rule, because that alone would be a weak
argument. I will, however, point out that the first presentation of our nation’s
highest military honor in twelve years is quite a newsworthy event, and not
something the media could easily ignore. As for front page news, I’m curious as
to which paper and which day. Today’s Red Register Guard certainly didn’t place
it there (Although they do have an interesting and highly important story of a
man trapped in an elevator for four days). It would be easy to argue that the
every day acts of bravery that fails to meet CMH criteria is the reason those
acts are not reported upon, to which I would respond by asking why every day
acts of cowardice and savagery are deemed more noteworthy?

The paper mentioned was the Washington Post. In fact, today’s post also leads A1 with a story about the successes enjoyed by First Sergeant Ruiz (Go read it - it gives one hope for success in Iraq). Of course, the Post does not lead every day with a feel-good military story. The news media reports the news. Sometimes it is bad. I think that many people seem to perceive emphasis/story selection bias too frequently. That is not to say that it never exists, just that the right decries bias way too much and with too little evidene. Covering casualties is not anti-war bias. It’s what people want to know. Covering success stories like Ruiz or the community building efforts of our civil affairs units is not pro-war bias. If both the right wing and left wing complain about the coverage, than I guess the papers must be doing something right.

Full disclosure: Mrs. Smallholder was a very successful journalist before we had kids. While she neatly balances the Maximum Leader’s conservatism on the fulcrum of my centrism, professional ethics meant that she did not incorporate her biases into the story. Any pressure she felt from her editors - at two different papers - to insert slant into a story was a push to the right. While conservatives love to cite statistics that a majority of journalists are liberal, they ignore the fact that the greater majority of editors, publishers, and owners are conservatives.

Then Brian hammers for a third post - boy, I must have been the grit in the oyster that day!

As for the debate on the merits of
recovering the dead during combat
:Smallholder’s
points are at least worthy of consideration
. So are the points of those who
disagree with him
, as well as those
who agree
. I’m just curious to hear input from one other, very important
point of view: The guys who actually have to carry out this policy. I don’t know
any of these bloggers well enough to know if they’re service veterans, let alone
combat vets. But when it comes to this policy, it seems to me that their opinion
should weigh heavily. Now, normally I am reticent to weigh in on issues having
to do with the combat experience, because I am a career civilian. However, on
this topic I think I’ve learned enough military history to have an
opinion.

Smallholder’s original argument against the policy (Whether this is the
entire crux of his objection or not) was that he would be reticent as an officer
to send other men in to die to recover a body, and further, to have to tell the
families of those new dead why their son died: to recover a corpse.

Indeed. I believe the policy is immoral because it needlessly risks the living to recover the dead. I did not articulate in my brief post that it is also impractical; a soldier who dies to recover a corpse in not available to fight against military objectives later; objectives that may have a direct outcome on the battle.

I’d like to address the second part of the equation first. I find this
expression of concern for the families of the dead somewhat incongruous with the
previous statement “Private Snuffy was dead and his family would have to grieve,
with or without the shell.” which seems somewhat (if unintentionally) cavalier.
Any combat death is a tragedy, and should be treated with as much dignity and
respect and compassion as possible. They should also be avoided if possible. But
in warfare, deaths occur. That is the nature of the beast. If the goal achieved,
or at least striven for, is worthy of the sacrifice, soldiers must be, and
almost always are, willing to make that sacrifice, and officers must be willing
to send them to that doom, as hard a choice as it may be.

There was no cavalier dismissal of a soldier’s sacrifice. The name “Private Snuffy” is just army shorthand for “the average soldier.” i.e. “Sergeants, make sure your Snuffies are ready to roll.” Thinking about that class, I was mentally back in the army environment and didn’t realize that most readers haven’t served. I apologize to those I offended by my poor choice of language.

Combats deaths are a tragedy. Sometimes they are necessary. But KIAs incurred during corpse recovery operations are both tragic and unnecessary. I agree with Brian that our military goals occasionally requie the expenditure of lives. But we disagree about whether bringing home bodies is a worthy goal:

Smallholder and Ally argue that it’s all about “Honor and Dignity”, and
assail these concepts as moot in the case of the dead. Bill, in arguing against
this position, focuses on the needs of the individual dying, and his family, to
know he’ll be honored in death. I think he’s on to something here, but I also
believe he falls a bit short.

I agree with Bill that it is not asinine to recover the dead. But I go a
bit further in my reason why. It is not for the sake of the dead man in his
dying, nor for his family, that I believe our military holds this policy. And
while I do believe that Honor has something to do with it, I do not believe, as
SH and Ally do, that it’s honor for honor’s sake alone — some hidebound
tradition without reason. Ultimately, I believe that we adhere to this policy,
that we display this honor, for the sake of the living soldiers, for the sake of
those who may become the dead, as well as for the sake of those who will be
called on to risk and even give their own lives to recover those dead.

If you spend any amount of time reading the annals and recollections of
combat veterans, if you have watched their interviews, one thing sticks out in
your mind. While they were recruited with varying degrees of willingness, for a
multitude of causes, and fought under a thousand banners, they all seem to agree
on this thing. When the drums roll, and the trumpets sound, and the swords
clash, and the bombs drop, and the shells explode, and the bullets fly, and the
blood flows, they have all fought for the same reason: They fight for the man to
their left and the man to their right.

It’s the inspiration of all good soldiers, not just the title of a
miniseries: They’re a band of brothers. They fight, kill, and die to protect and
support each other. They rely on each other, trust each other. Even though it’s
a bond forged in battle and thus dissolves to some extent with the peace, in
ways this bond is a vow more binding than the marriage vow: I’m married to my
wife “till death do us part”. Soldiers are bound to each other even in death.
This is why they do not leave their dead behind. And this is why I believe
(though any vets out their are as always welcome to correct me) that they are
not only willing to, but believe strongly that they should, risk their own lives
to recover the bodies of their fallen buddies. And if we release them from this
obligation, furthermore, if an officer by his orders bars them from carrying out
this obligation, that vow has been broken. They have not kept the faith, they
have broken the bonds of brotherhood that bind even in death. And if that vow,
which has been made can be broken in death, what’s to keep the bond in life? The
foundation of trust and honor which keeps good soldiers fighting for each other
has been eroded. And in the end, soldiers who cannot trust each other cannot
defend each other. And if they cannot defend each other, they cannot survive.
And that is why, I believe, the living risk their lives to honor the dead.

Soldiers do fight for each other. When it comes right down to it, as John Keegan has famously observed, soldiers don’t die for their country; they die for their comrades.

But, in order to psychologically survive the trauma of combat, soldiers need to be able to build a firewall between their living comrades and those who have died, much as policemen resort to gallows humor when responding to automobile accidents or homicides. Soldiers may love each other, and grieve for the loss of their friends, they do understand the dividing line between life and death. And this leads to a practicality many civilians would shudder to behold.

Think Paul Baumer grieving for his friend Kemmerich while conspiring to get his boots.

The morale argument fails when framed on a longterm historical basis. We had no such policy during World War One. French and British and German soldiers got to watch their friends decompose in no man’s land. I imagine tha was less harmful to morale than an order to expose themselves to maxim guns to recover those bodies would have been.

My Uncle’s own combat recollections were rather matter of fact. He would have found an order to move into a kill zone to recover a body to be asinine.

One person who commented on my post (sorry - I don’t remember who) worried that my refusal to send men after a corpse might be based on erroneous information; what if we left a living soldier behind? Brian’s bonds of brotherhood would justify going forward to check on the status of a fallen comrade. And soldiers would gladly do that. Morale would require it. But sometimes, it is pretty clear that the guy in the kill zone is dead. Modern warfare is shockingly violent. Large caliber bullets and explosives can pretty clearly mark someone as KIA, even when the body is viewed from a distance. One example would be the opening lines of the Washington Post article I linked above:

MOSUL, Iraq — From inside a vacant building, Sgt. 1st Class Domingo Ruiz
watched through a rifle scope as three cars stopped on the other side of the
road. A man carrying a machine gun got out and began to transfer weapons into
the trunk of one of the cars.

“Take him down,” Ruiz told a sniper.

The sniper fired his powerful M-14 rifle and the man’s head exploded,
several American soldiers recalled.

If one of my men gets hit by a sniper and his head explodes, it is pretty clear that he is dead. And I doubt many soldiers who have actually seen combat (as opposed to armchair civilians) would argue that their bond with their fallen colleague justified risking further casualties.

Of course, I’m just an armchair civilian myself. The closest I came to combat was packing my gear for the invasion of Haiti - I never even left the states because Clinton called it off.

So I could be wrong about how a soldier would feel in combat. If Nakedvillainy has any combat vet readers, please e-mail me your take on the issue.

Congrats to the Big Ho

Hurrah for Kevin!

He has found a great* new job! Your humble Smallholder wishes him all the best.

While I don’t correspond frequently, I always peruse his blog, hoping that he will find a position that makes him happy and lets him spend time on his academic preparation - when he is stressed I hold a good thought for him. You ought to as well. He’s good (if vulgar) people.

So, in honor of the BigHo, I have a few haiku offerings (As you know, I write Haiku for no man but Kev):

Styling nuevo job
Things are looking up for Kev
Now drop Adjoshi

English through drama
Will the Bigho’s dream come true?
Rehearse “Caligu” — Crap that’s five syllables already.

Okay, I suck at poetry.

Andrew Sullivan

I know Sully is on everyone’s no-good-nik list, but I did think this point was well made.

Nominations

The Panjamdrum calls upon the Maximum Leader to elevate the following blogfriends to “loyal minion” status:

Memento Moron

Who Moved My Truth

I’m sure that the Maximum Leader can’t resist the promotion of blogs that spend a fair amount of time slapping the Minister of Agriculture around.

Just sayin’.

Now if we could only find some folks to slap Mike around…

Happy Day!

Greetings, loyal minion. Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap and wishes JohnL of Texasbestgrok a Happy Birthday.

We will overlook the lack of a new babes poll due to “connectivity issues.” We understand that “connectivity issues” is lawyer speak for “binge celebrating related loss of hand-eye-brain coordnation.” Your Maximum Leader is happy to wait until Thursday to get new babes…

Carry on.

Finally! Some Real News…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was jarred from a semi-somulent state this morning when he thought he heard Matt Lauer on the Today show interviewing someone about Brittney Spears being pregnant. He could hardly believe his ears. Then he went and looked on the internet for additional information. Sure enough, Brit appears to have passed her half her genes on to another life.

Of course, your Maximum Leader was alerted to this possibility by his daily reading of Gordon’s site. Earlier in the month Gordon blogged about the rumours of Lil’ Brit being with child. Of course that post was followedby another post in which Gordon accused his readers (your Maximum Leader included) of being “poopie-heads” because some of us doubted that Brit is the real deal for questioning her mental capacity. (NB: To go on the record, if your Maximum Leader had to choose one of the many teen-pop “stars” to whom the Villainettes listen as a consort, he thinks he would go for Hillary Duff. And to clarify, the Villainettes do not listen to Brittney Spears at the Villainschloss. But your Maximum Leader has been informed that they have heard Spears’ CDs at friend’s houses.)

Anyho… Methinks Gordon doth protest too much. Your Maximum Leader has learned (through his chain of informants) that really Kevin Federline is really just a patsy for Gordon - who craves a low-key lifestyle. Gordon is really Brit’s baby’s daddy!

You heard it here first.

Carry on.

On The Farm

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader read with great glee the very feisty Christina’s post about Cochon de lait.

And your Maximum Leader thought that Smallholder was the only person out there who was doing life on the farm blog posts…

Or is Christina just trying to muscle-in on the high traffic domesticated animal posting niche that the Smallholder has carved out for us here at nakedvillainy.com? Hummm…. We’ll have to keep and eye on her now…

And by the way… The Smallholder tells your Maximum Leader that he recently purchased some pigs for his farm. This makes your Maximum Leader smile… For as you all surely know, as far as he is concerned the pig is God’s most perfect farm animal.

Carry on.

Secrets Revealed: Geekiness

I second the Maximum Leader’s link to The Ministry of Minor Prefidy, if only for the classic line:

“I need to fechez le vache, load up the catapult with whatever will fit, and fling it in the direction of my elderberrically paternoscented opponent.”

Heh.

I have a confession to make. I, too, have played my share of RPGs. I never had much success a the games in high school. There was a regular Saturday game that began at Lunch and went through the night. I always had things to do in the evening, so would quit around eight o’clock. Whenever I left, my character, as an NPC, suddenly became point man, trap finder, and general red-shirted security man.

But what makes me a real geek is that my sixteen-year old geek mind wanted desperately to prove that I wasn’t a geek to the other D&D geeks by showing off my girlfriend - I would occasionally have a date pick me up at the RPG-fest. See-ya later, dudes, I’m leaving with this attractive girl. Looking back, I just want to kick “circa 1987 Smallholder” in the teeth.

Speaking of mixing dodecahedrons and girls, I can take credit for actually getting a hot girl to play “Call of Cthulu.” The Maximum Leader was GMing a game for his old high school buddies in the suburban Smallholder basement (If I remember correctly, the Air Marshal and Foreign Minister were there too). My girlfriend was up from Tappahannock so I brought her into the game as well. She wasn’t that into it, but I think she enjoyed the attention she got from all the men in the room.

In fact, thinking of that girl and that game session puts me in mind of “Office Space”

MICHAEL: Dude! An occupational hypnotherapist?!

PETER: Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help. Y’know, sometimes I just think, I keep thinking that she’s cheating on me.

MICHAEL: Yeah. I know what you mean.

SAMIR: Yeah.

PETER: What is that supposed to mean?

MICHAEL: Nothing.

So, to sum up this rambling post, I have demonstrated arcane knowledge of the Holy Grail, trying to impress fellow geeks, admitted playing D&D in high school, Call of Cthulu in college, and being witlessly cuckolded. Screw the Ministry of Minor Perfidy. Your humble Smallholder is king geek.

Secret Revealed

Sadie, in her congratulatory note, explains the popularity of our not-so-humble little blog.

So true, so true.

Between the Maximum “My vain, overly compensatory attempts to appear manly aren’t fooling anybody” Leader and Sadie “I claim to love the Irish Lad but spend all my free time sequestered in Smallholder’s barn hoping to catch a glimpse of my Agrarian Adonis” Fortnights, I spend half of my day ducking pitched woo.

I mean, puh-lease. I know that manure-spattered rednecks are irresistable, but try to remember that I’m married.

UPDATE: Brian B. points out that “manure-spattered rednecks” doesn’t have nearly the charm of “Men of the Soil, Arrayed in Nature’s Fecund Glory.” I like that better too.

Star Wars and Other Geekyness

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is about to write a post whereby he discusses how geekily he spent his weeend. If that isn’t your bag baby, well, just cruise on over to some other blog and read some other stuff. Come back later, your Maximum Leader will pithily opine on some other item later.

So… On to the geekyness…

It started with Jonathan at Galley Slaves in fact. He just HAD to go and post a link to a Pinky & The Brain in Klingon mythology. So that post started the terrible spiral that ended last night in the dark of the Villainschloss dungeon. (Ahem. Your Maximum Leader gets ahead of himself.)

Yes after reading the Narf Plutock post, your Maximum Leader surfed on over to a few Star Trek fan sites. He wasn’t really looking for anything in particular. Except perhaps recognition from the producers of the franchise that Enterprise sucks and needs to either be cancelled; or become the first television show to pass the full frontal nudity barrier and just show us Jolene Blaylock as God intended her to be viewed.

Then your Maximum Leader tired of Star Trek. So, he surfed on over to the Star Wars website. It was there that his inner geek was allowed to bloom and go full flower. He watched the trailer for the new film a few times. (NB: Your Maximum Leader is cautiously optimistic. He was downright optimistic before the Phantom Menace was released. Then he downgraded to cautiously optimistic for Attack of the Clones. He remains cautious.) Then he went to the Star Wars shop.

Damnation! All the cool stuff that he wanted when he was a kid, and now has the money to buy… All there at the click of a button away… Your Maximum Leader doesn’t even own a friggin ipod, but he is covetous of this ipod cover. He also would like a Darth Vader mousepad, a giant Darth Vader Pez dispenser, a Darth Tater for his wee son, a Darth Vader M&M plush buddy for Villainette II, a Princess Leia M&M plush buddy for Villainette I, and an 18 month Vader calendar.

All the wonderful toys… After lusting after all the great toys, your Maximum Leader put on his favourite (and the best) Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back. He watched it. And then fell into a delightful slumber…

The next day, Saturday for those of you keeping track, he spent all day doing his fantasy baseball auction with some old friends. We’ve had this baseball league for over 15 years. We dedicate one day a year to a big ole auction. So your Maximum Leader was auctioning from 10am to 7pm on Saturday.

Then he went and watched Attack of the Clones that night. If you just chapter forward through all the non-action scenes the film isn’t really all that bad…

Then came Sunday. Villainette II had a birthday party to attend. Your Maximum Leader volunteered to take her to the party. Upon arriving, he was informed by his delightful daughter that she didn’t want me to leave her. Your Maximum Leader informed her that there were plenty of adults around to watch her, and very little room in the gym for her beloved father to just stand around. (It was one of those parties where all the kids invited get to go somewhere and do something. In this case i was do an hour of simple tumbling and gymnastics in a local gym followed by pizza and cake in a side room.) She protested that she didn’t want your Maximum Leader to leave her alone there. So, he didn’t. He wound up sitting around in the parking lot for the better part of 2 hours.

In that time he called the Air Marshal and chatted. He called Mrs. Smallholder and chatted. Then he walked across the large parking lot and went into Wal-Mart to buy something sweet and a soda. Well he walked out with some M&Ms, a Diet Coke, and a Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader lightsabre. It is cool. Very very cool. Probably not as cool as this Darth Vader lightsabre, but cool nonetheless.

Of course, after walking out of Wal-Mart with a toy lightsabre the shame hit. Shame of buying a toy that he will likely never get to play with. Perhaps subconsciously he was rationalizing that the purchase was really for the wee Villain. As you may remember, the wee Villain is 9 mos old. That means that your Maximum Leader would have to hold onto the toy for another 4 years. Then again, he might buy another one (an Obi-Wan or Yoda model) and give it to Villainette 2. Then the two of us could go through the Villainschloss and Villainschloss grounds dueling with our toy lightsabres.

Well, last night after putting the Villainettes to bed your Maximum Leader announced to Mrs. Villain that he was going to go to the dungeon and watch Return of the Jedi. Mrs. Villain said she wasn’t interested and retired. So your Maximum Leader got to watch Return of the Jedi, by himself. All the while he was able to play with his new lightsabre. Turning it from blue to red and back.

Oh how satisfying it is to sometimes feed and nourish the inner geek.

Anyho… That is enough geekery. Then again, if you need more geekery, you should go over to the Ministry of Minor Perfidy and read about Buckethead’s Match Point.

Carry on.

Quiz Time

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader saw a quiz over at TeaFizz. He took it. The results surprised him.


:: how jedi are you? ::

Although your Maximum Leader doesn’t mind being a bad-ass-mo-fo, he figured he be a little more evil.

Carry on.

Oh Happy Day!

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to doff his bejeweled floppy hat to his friend Gordon, the Cranky Neocon. It seems that today is his One Year Blogoversary.

The day is particularly happy for all who know Gordon and read his work. Indeed, your Maximum Leader thinks that this day might, for Gordon, actually rise to the level of frabjous.

Happy day Gordon, Callooh! Callay! May you have many more.

Carry on.

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