Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader burned himself today. This was caused, as you can imagine, by reading something funny with a full cup of hot tea in his hand.

Go and read this post from our friend Mr. Enoch Soames, Esq: My kind of politician…

If only we had Congressmen like the Honourable Anthony Henley…

Carry on.

I am humbled that our Maximum Leader took time from the plotting of world domination to read the links I suggested. However, in fully reading the article about Bush’s manufactured crowds, he would see that this was not a political event, funded and organized by the Republican party or some 527 group, but a taxpayer-funded event for which the individuals in question had valid tickets. They were denied access because her car had a bumper sticker on it against the war. So the Maximum Leader is prepared to endrse an idea that that none of John Kerry’s supporters are allowed to participate in taxpayer-funded town hall discussions about social security? To participate in Bush’s democracy, I should scrape the bumper stickers from my car and put on a happy face for his appearances? Additionally, the individuals in question were threatened with physical removal by a Republican staffer pretending to be a secret service agent, complete with earpiece and pin. That alone makes me uncomfortable, and ought to be illegal if it isn’t already.

If Bush wants to hold political rallies, he can hold rallies with friendly crowds (I was in Boston for the Democratic National Convention, and I think there are several lines of defense on the issue of the ‘free speech zone’). But Bush does not have the right to stage town hall discussion with taxpayer funds and pass them off as representative of the American people. From the fake white house reporter to the fake medicare ‘news’ reports to the posting of anti-Kerry material on government websites, this president condones the manipulation of the very checks and balances that are supposed to give us a open understanding of what our government does. This isn’t about ’spin:’ this is an abuse of public resources and a disregard for open government not seen since Nixon. This president and the republican party that rallies around him have no respect for free speech, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Bush: worst president ever.

Maximum Leader: a pretty good despot-in-waiting, but you had better get your opinions out there before the M.W.O. really kicks into high gear.

Now I’m off to re-read Sexy Sadie’s advice on oral sex before our Maximum Leader buries this post.

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, while he is exhorting you to vote for Princess Ardala over on JohnL’s site, also urges you to vote for a new banner for Rocket Jones: Blog Banner Contest - Time to Vote!

Your Maximum Leader thinks the Bayeux Tapestry logo is really inspired. But the Werner Von Braun one makes him laugh and laugh and laugh.

Go vote.

And because Werner Von Braun got mentioned in a post today….

The lyrics to the great Tom Lerher’s song of the same name.

Come let me sing you of Werner von Braun,
A man whose allegiance
Is ruled by expedience.
Call him a Nazi, he won’t even frown,
“Ha, Nazi, Schmazi,” says Werner von Braun.

Don’t say that he’s hypocritical,
Say rather that he’s apolitical.
“Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That’s not my department,” says Werner von Braun.

Some have harsh words for this man of renown,
But some think our attitude
Should be one of gratitude,
Like the widows and cripples in old London town,
Who owe their large pensions to Werner von Braun.

You too may be a big hero,
Once you’ve learned to count backwards to zero.
“In German oder English I know how to count down,
Und I’m learning Chinese!” says Werner von Braun.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader asks you to excercise the rights you have as a reader of JohnL’s fabulous site TexasBestGrok. Go there and vote in his latest SciFi Babes poll.

And when you do vote, vote for Princess Ardala. Who is much more of a wanton minx than the wimpy Lt. Saavik.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader actually did click through and read some of the links recently provided by the Minister of Propaganda. Bush is limiting the ability of citizens of the US to speak freely on political issues by not allowing them into his “town hall” meetings? Hardly.

As the Minister of Propaganda surely knows, these people are free to speak their minds on Social Security and any other issue. The issue the M of P seems to want to point out is that President Bush has friendly crowds. Surely that can’t be the only trouble? People whine because hey can’t protest anywhere they want any time they want and before any person they want. Your Maximum Leader seems to remember a cage adorned with razor wire under a highway flyover which was touted by Democrats as the “free speech zone.”

Surely the M of P can’t really be upset by the President’s advance people staging an event to make it look better on television. As your Maximum Leader remembers it, this technique was pioneered by Lyndon Johnson.

The M of P is welcome to point out that the President is speaking before carefully selected crowds. Just as most other Presidents of the television age have. But to say he is curtailing the right of free speech is a little bit of a stretch.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is giddy with anticipation. Why you might ask? Dr. Rusty is coming to Dee Cee. Yes. Dr. Rusty. Llamas. Gordon. Leo. Your Maximum Leader. Hopefully many others. It will be a fest.

Saturday, May 21. Dee Cee. There will be cavorting. If you are a DC area blogger come and join us.

Carry on.

Bush, apparently, will only speak to adamantly favorable crowds, down to every individual, even if it means lying about the nature of the event and lying about the nature of it’s security personnel. This is how you want your government to be run?

Bush: worst president ever.

Believe.

The report and testimony about the status of our forces by Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Richard Myers is damning, when you consider how many of our currently military problems could have been avoided with even a little intelligent foresight. Bush wasted our military (a military that was built by the Clinton administration, by the way) on an unneccesary war, and conducted that war in the most short-sighted manner possible.

Bush: worst president ever.

Believe.

Our reasons for going to war with Iraq were complete bullshit, the facts were made to fit the objective, and the British were well aware of it, as a secret memo, well-publicized in England but barely mentioned here in the States, makes clear.

This is not just a difference of opinion concerning policy. Conducting our government in this matter strikes at the very principles of a democratic society.

Bush: worst president ever.

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would love to have the time to just hop on a plane and go across the pond and meet the good Col. Blimp. If your Maximum Leader could do that one of the first things he would do is offer to buy the Colonel a pint to assauge the guilt he feels for stealing from him.

What? Your Maximum Leader stealing?!?!

Well, from time to time your Maximum Leader amends, appends, or redacts the list of randomly generated tag lines that appear under the banner at the top of this page. Recently, your Maximum Leader read a post of Col. Blimp’s and knew it had to be a random tag line. And so, without so much as asking, your Maximum Leader just added it to his list.

What post was it? What was the line?

Well, if you must know it was the answer to the following question.

Why will you be voting Tory, Blimpish?

Now that the British elections are past, it seems the line is free and floating out there.

Blimpish, your Maximum Leader owes you a pint.

(NB to Col. Blimp: Do we have to beg for another tie/soe post?)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has reserved comment on the various measures that were outraging many bloggers concerning the oversight of political blogs by the government. Quite a number of bloggers (including many read daily by your Maximum Leader) were quite alarmed (understandably) by the prospect of such oversight and/or regulation.

Well, it seems that the Federal Election Commission decided not to investigate/regulate blogs. At least those who receive no money from campaigns to blog. It is a different matter, however, if a blogger receives money from a political campaign. (Excursus: Would receiving money from a PAC or other 527 warrant investigation? Hummm.. It is unclear…)

And a few weeks ago a Senate committee voted to recommend changes to campaign finance laws with the express purpose of reining in 527 orgainizations.

Now, as loyal minions might remember, your Maximum Leader wasn’t a fan of the 527 organization. They are the evil spawn of a misguided and despicable law. That law being the McCain-Feingold Act. McCain-Feingold was supposed to help take the money out of politics. That was, and remains, possibly one of the most asinine assertions ever made. As long as there have been political campaigns there has been money involved in the campaigning. And to think for a moment that the people who most benefit from that money would voluntarially separate themselves from it is to engage in what the Smallholder might refer to as “magical thinking.”

Magical thinking you say? What does your Maximum Leader mean by magical thinking?

Certainly you noticed?

Te McCain-Feingold law performed just as it was supposed to, right?

Oh… Yeah… The 2004 Elections were the most expensive ever.

All McCain-Feingold has done is drive the money to other places. To other groups. The 527s. Groups with names like: Moveon.org, America Coming Together, Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, and Emily’s List. If you want to read some about how much money these 527s have raised and spent, you might read more here. (NB: And just in case you do read that link, McCain-Feingold is now known offically as the Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act or BCRA. Your Maximum Leader prefers McCain-Feingold as he likes to attribute blame by name where possible.)

Now let your Maximum Leader be clear here. He is all for letting people organize into interest groups and promoting their agenda. (At least until the MWO comes…) But what is really happening here is that people and groups who would rather be giving money to a particular candidate or campaign cannot legally do so. So they give money to surrogates. The surrogates then are free to do as they will.

Do you think George Soros would have given all that money to Moveon.org if he could have given it all to John Kerry? Would we even have heard of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth if their donors could have given more to Bush?

Loyal minions. We live in an era where information can be collected and distributed in moments. We have outlets ranging from traditional media to blogs where information can be reviewed and commented upon. Why don’t we just encourage our political class to do what they really want to do? Just remove all the limits to campaign contributions by individuals; but require full disclosure of all campaign contributors and the size of their contribution within 10 days of its receipt.

Whilst your Maximum Leader doesn’t think most people would actually give a damn about knowing that George Soros gave $30 million to John Kerry, the people who do care can do with that information what they will.

We don’t need more limitations on campaign spending, we need more openness and transparency to who gives what to whom. You might think the Federal Election Commission is already doing that job. But if you actually stop to look at the FEC you would see that it is painfully underfunded. Woefully short-staffed. And consequently unable to respond promptly to anything. (Which, by the way, is just how the politicans want it.)

Trash the existing campaign finance laws and start from scratch. Use technology to get the word out. In the end, “the people” would be better served.

Carry on.

I am an atheist, and my views are admittedly more extreme than those of Smallholder on the topic, but for anyone following his discussion of the correlation between religious intolerance and scientific ignorance, I recommend to you the interview with evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins over at Salon.com. Thanks to bruce for posting the link, and thanks to Sadie (Sexy Sadie, yum) for the link to bruce.

My summary? Religion is for chumps. (Of course I always like staking out a personal position that will both provoke my opponents and repel what few allies I have on any given subject).

heh

Believe.

I am not a baseball fan. I was a military brat growing up and moved (on average) every other year, so I never developed any local affiliations. A lot of that time was overseas, so watching on tv was not really an option. I collected baseball cards (because that’s what young boys do), but I only chose the Yankees as my favorite because I probably overheard they were winning at the time and had sharp uniforms. My younger brother got to collect the Blue Jays because, well, I decided he should and he was the younger brother. Sure, I played little league every year and became familiar with the game, but was never much of a hitter (’strike zone reduction’ was the on-base strategy suggested by most of my coaches). I still don’t know much or particularly care about the leagues or the stats, but know enough to generally keep my mouth shut on the topic when hangin’ with the fellas. Guys talk baseball, and I’m astute enough to avoid drawing attention to my apathy.

Nonetheless, I love going to the ballpark. I am lucky enough to live walking distance from Dodger Stadium, and have recently made a habit of of buying seats in a block and going with friends. I buy them at the stadium so I avoid Ticketmaster’s outrageous handling fees (monopolies are bad, but that’s a different post). I like the mid-priced seats — outfield Loge or Infield Reserve, usually: $15-20 each — since I think the views are fine all over and you avoid the craziness of the Pavillion and Upper Deck seats (where they don’t serve beer and yet still everyone manages to be piss drunk).

Initially, I put out an e-mail and gathered commitments before buying the tickets. Our first forays to the stadium met with such enthusiastic response, however — 13 people on a Tuesday night and 20 people on Sunday afternoon — that yesterday I went ahead and bought 10 tickets for each of three future games. Everyone gathers at my place about an hour before first pitch for some beers and socializing, and we travel over as a group, settle in and enjoy the game. And you know what? I really do enjoy the game. I like to watch and track the team and if I’m seating next to one of my friends who is a big statistics fan, so much the btter when he shares the bigger picture. While I will take a break or two from the action to go buy a hot dog or refill my beer, I don’t much chatter about work and the weekend and other business: my contribution to the social atmosphere is mostly done until we get home again (unless I’ve been lucky enough to have a pretty girl accept my invite and I’ve managed to successfully manipulate the seating assignments: the pitching of woo definitely take precedence over the pitching from the mound).

The Dodgers have had a strong start this year, and it’s fun to support a winning team (as little as that means this early in the season). By the next game, I’m going to own a Dodgers t-shirt and possibly even a hat. And if any of the ministers or comely female minions find themselves in LA during a home game, we’ll buy us some tickets and make a day of it.

Believe.

Can I say that I always hate AP test days?

There’s nothing left for me to do except wish and pray for my kids to do well. My stomach will be in turmoil all day.

It’s either nervousness or a reaction to the woo-pitching of the Minister of Propaganda.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that the good Dr. Rusty Shackelford has contributed to the arrest fo a real terrorist. You should read the article. Here tis: Jawa Report Nabs Terrorist. Your Maximum Leader can’t wait to read the details.

Carry on.