Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader realizes that this election is going to be just as close as was the 2000 election. Every faction, every interest group, every possible individual voter is being targeted by the major parties as a potential source of support.

But one group has been overlooked by Democrats and Republicans alike.

One HUGE group.

Drunks.

Yes, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader said the overlooked interest group are Drunks. (Call them Drunks, Drunkards, Alchies, Boozers, self-pickelers it makes no difference.) This group of potential swing voters should not be overlooked by either campaign. With this in mind your Maximum Leader will make a modest proposal.

The other day over lunch a friend of your Maximum Leader suggested to him that during the Mike World Order DUI laws as well as speed limits should not be enforced between the hours of 2am and 5am Friday through Sunday.

This sounded like a novel idea to your Maximum Leader and he’s decided to run with it. Decent people shouldn’t be driving at those hours anyway.

So! Senator Kerry! President Bush! Increase the turnout of the Drunk Voter and move them into your camp by campaigning for a lifting of speed limits and DUI laws between 2am and 5am Friday through Sunday. It could be just the edge you need.

(And in light of tonight’s game - Go Packers!)

Carry on.