Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was out reading over a number of different blogs and happened upon this post of Norm’s.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Self, that church sign is pretty funny. I thank my Maximum Leader every day for pointing out such great stuff! I love my Maximum Leader unconditionally.”

Or not…

But your Maximum Leader read that sign and got annoyed. Very very very annoyed.

You see. The Smallholder may be vexed by Pius XII being venerated. (NB: But you can make a whole bunch of arguments on that one. So while your Maximum Leader agrees that Pius XII is a bad choice overall for veneration, he can see that there is another side to that argument.) But your Maximum Leader never fails to be vexed at the very sight of the name: St. Cyril of Alexandria.

All you non-Catholics out there might not know who St. Cyril of Alexandria is. You want to know about St. Cyril of Alexandria? Here is a bio. Here is another.

What they don’t seem to mention is Cyril’s role in the destruction of the Library at Alexandria. Admittedly, Theophilus was the Patriarch of Alexandria at the time of the Christian-rioting-led destruction of the library. But Theophilus was Cyril’s uncle and your Maximum Leader has always read that it was Cyril who led the torch-bearing crowd into the library.

In all honesty, this wasn’t the first time the library was sacked. Julius Ceasar did it first. But his sacking of the library doesn’t appear to have set humanity back hundreds of years. And of course the Caliph Omar was the last to destroy the library. But by that time, many of the volumes contained therein had already been lost.

Your Maximum Leader would never name a church after St. Cyril… Even if he did fight Nestorians. Damn those Nestorians!

Carry on.

At Jackfest, sit Rob as far from the kids as possible.

Also, hire bouncer to keep him from hitting the keg too hard.

Rob is flattered by the Llamas.

As an aside, when is the MoP going to work with Ms. Pressly? I need to schedule my California vacation.

Happy Birthday today to Smallholder. Fuck yeah!

Oh, shit, is this a fucking family party? Who put the fucking kids table right next to the goddamn adult table? Godammit! Fuck that! No, I said fuck that! What?

Fuck, sorry.

Oops, fuck.

Shit.

I’ll just not say anything, then.

. . .

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader can remember all sorts of dates. He keeps them in his head. At the strangest times your Maximum Leader can recall the oddest dates and recite them.

But your Maximum Leader cannot recall birthdays. He can’t remember Mrs. Villain’s birthday. He can’t recall his parent’s birthdays. He can, with a moment to think about it, remember his children’s birthdays. He can’t even remember his own half the time.

So, your Maximum Leader has, over the past year, tried to write down birthdays and later record them in an electronic calendar. He sets them as recurring so that year after year he is prompted to remember an important date.

He was reminded this morning about a date.

Today, April 28th, appears to be the Smallholder’s birthday.

Your Maximum Leader thought he would write some nice tribute to the Smallholder, but the muse is not upon him right now. (This could be fortunate for you, dear minions.) Indeed, not only is the muse not upon him for a touching tribute, the muse isn’t upon him to write a smackdown of the Smallholder either.

So your Maximum Leader is in a lose-lose here.

If you get a moment, give your favourite bald-headed, bearded, girthy, civility-crusading, shit-tasting, independently-minded farmer a big shout out. And if you are pretty you might give him a hug too. (He’ll hug pretty men just as easily as pretty women - so don’t be put off. He is independently minded afterall.)

Happy Birthday Mark. Many happy returns. From your pal (and Maximum Leader), Mike.

Carry on.

Fatherhood changes everything.

Things which I would previously veiwed with abstract opprobrium now are likely to trigger the fight or flight response.

For instance, bad drivers used to annoy me. But when a driver comes through an intersection and I have to brake hard, the presence of my wee-ones in their little seats unleashes real anger: This jerk just endangered my kids!

I feel a much more visceral anger over the pedophile priest scandal. If the archbishop moved a child molester into my diocese, thus placing my child at risk, I can imagine that my reaction to the Archbishop might be something right out of Sin City.

Even on a non-threatening note, I’m also taking more vocal exception to the coarsening of society.

Last night my family was dining at a sushi place. Two tables over, a group of six UVA athletes (I’m not sure what sport) were entertaining themselves after a match. A couple of their speakers began to liberally salt their dialogue with the f-bomb. I was trying to sit there and enjoy a meal with my two year old and wife and I became ncreasingly irritated with their selfish lack of concern for the other diners at the restuarant. When a couple of dirty looks failed to encourage restraint, I addressed them directly, emphatically, and clearly: “Sir! There are children around. Have a little common decency.”

My wife was horrified: “Who are you?” She was concerned that I might be inviting retaliation. Honestly speaking, I never even considered that possibility. I was genuinely angry.

I guess they could tell. They meekly apologized and immediately decamped.

I guess a large, angry, bald-headed hillbilly with an unkempt beard might be a little intimidating.

Heh.

Smallholder: Decency Crusader!

If you fancy a girl, go talk to her.

Don’t use intermediaries.

Don’t do a subtle dance for three weeks.

Walk up, strike up a conversation. Be witty. Ask questions. Asking about someone’s relationship status is relatively harmless. If they are in a relationship, they will be flattered that you were interested. If they are not, you’ll get immediate feedback on whether they fancy you.

If they don’t fancy you, there is no consequence. Shy fellas seem paralyzed by the fear that they will be rejected.

Smallholder says: So what?

You accept their non-interest and move on. Without having wasted weeks (or months in the case of certain way-too subtle wannabee dictators) in fruitless pining.

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.

Thus sayeth Smallholder.

I am appalled that the Maximum Leader is torn over Joe’s situation. Using almost any moral theory, Joe ought to, indeed has a duty to, report his plasma-tv thief of a relative.

The concept of omerta is not a moral choice. It’s a criminal conspiracy.

Joe received stolen goods - and don’t be fooled, he knew they were stolen goods. The Maximum Leader would laud him for helping cover up the crime of his co-conspirator?

We have a moral obligation to society. We ought to look out for one another. When we refuse to “snitch” and demonize those who do cooperate with the authotites, we create a climate in which criminals can operate in relative safety. If the costs and risks of crime are reduced, the relative attractiveness of crime rises, and we end up with more crime. So Joe’s countenance of his relative’s pernicious behavior is a way of condoning theft. This affects us all.

The unabomber’s family understood this. If they had turned their backs on their moral duty, and hid behind the “blood is thicker than water” canard, we might still have a murderer on the loose in the backwoods. Ted’s family acted morally to bring his Luddite crusade to an end.

I teach many kids who believe that “snitching” is the worst sin one might commit. This is a morally retarded belief. If concern for one’s neighbors, whether based on the golden rule, the teachings of religion, or rational utilitarianism, is the foundation of morality, allowing other people to harm the general public is always wrong.

Family members or not.

MWO ministers beware. If you commit a crime against the public, Smallholder will turn you in. I’ll still be your friend, but I take my obligation to society seriously.

HOW THE *#$%# do you use a quotation mark without getting the mumbo jumbo????

The kids AND the Warden are in bed early, affording me a little time to jump in here (and forgo the Cuban Ceegar that has been aging 2 years in the humidor).

I am inclined to feel sorry for “Joe” as he is a friend of the MLs and, any friend of the ML is a friend of mine (See ML decree #2027-b).

Anyway though, come on. A dirt poor, known to be bad-news relative shows up with a PLASMA TV?

Hmmm.

I am sure the warning bells went off in Joe’s head at this point. You KNOW that he knew these were stolen goods at the time.

If he thought it was legit, why would he have any trouble telling the Cops where he got it? (Which COULD have been his way out, “Gee Malcolm, I didn’t know you STOLE the TV, I thought you traded in your food stamps for it.”)

But hey, a PLASMA TV for “‘hunert and fidy dollahs???” (or what ever the going rate for stolen plasmas is)

I am glad that this discussion is not about what the FM would have done, but most people know that dealing/possessing stolen property is a no-no. I think that either way Joe was in a tight spot as even if he revealed his source, they could have got him on possession anyway.

Back to the trenches.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader never fails to sink into a deep despair when he realizes just how little most Americans know about the Greatest and Second Greatest Presidents in our nation’s history.

Your Maximum Leader is, of course, speaking of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln respectively.

There was the hullaballo surrounding the opening recently of the Abraham Lincoln Presidental Library & Museum.

And over at Mount Vernon, they are working on a display that features anthropomorphic Washington’s as he “really appeared” for the new “The Real George Washington” educational center.

It is sad that organizations like Mount Vernon and the Lincoln Presidential Library have to spend so much time just trying to teach the basics about two figures so important to American history. There is a baseline of knowledge that all Americans should be expected to have concerning Washington and Lincoln. Alas, learning that information seems to be less important that setting up processes for encourging tattlers and boosting self-esteem.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees yet another book that he will have to add to his Amazon wish list. Ronald Reagan’s diary is being published. At least the White House years are being published…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was over on Ted’s site this morning reading his most recent posts. He started with this post: Rocket Jones: Global Warming is caused by Environmental Activism. Then he started following the links. First to the Q and O blog, then to the Chicago Tribune, then finally to this site concerning Pebble Bed Reactor Technologies.

What a facinating read. Your Maximum Leader has always been a fan of nuclear power. He has never understood the pathological hatred of nuclear power by so many people. Yes there have been problems in the past. But technology has changed and improved dramatically over the past 30-40 years. Many nations (France immediately comes to mind) have great nuclear power programs. Your Maximum Leader feels that we need to do more to encourage nuclear power plant development in the US. It would reduce our dependence on foreign oil…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader (link whore that he appears to be) sees that Kathy as given some thought to the post concerning tattling and turning in relatives.

Read her post here.

More on this as it develops.

Carry on.

Wish I had that kind of spare time! I am sure Bolton doesn’t either, which is good. Is this going to be another litmus test from the left?

Q: Ok prospective UN Ambassador, what do you call the people from Africas Ivory Coast?

A: Ummm, there are people that live there?

Back to the trenches

Greetings, loyal inions. Your Maximum Leader read with mixed feelings the following article off the AP news wire: Students Rewarded for Tattling.

Now first off, the jist of the article centers how many school districts have created incentives for students to disclose the plans of their fellow students to do “things.” Bad “things.” Like go on murderous rampages at school for instance. Or doing drugs in the bathroom. Or bringing guns to school.

Now, your Maximum Leader is all for doing what we can to avoid murderous rampages in schools. But he isn’t sure about giving out candy, pizza, money, and prime parking spaces are proper incentive. One would hope that at some point the students themselves would catch on and do the right thing if they knew of another student planning a school slaughter.

But you see, your Maximum Leader is of two minds on the whole “snitching” thing. On the one hand, he doesn’t want to reward a “snitch” who betrays his friend’s confidence. But on the other hand, he is okay with “espionage” and the bribing of people to get information you want. In the end, isn’t the spy who gives the information a symbol of ignominity?

Here is a case for you on this general philosophical issue…

Your Maximum Leader is acquainted with a man. Let us call him Joe. Joe is a bear of a man. He is 6 foot 7 inches tall. He must weigh at least 325 pounds. And he is physcially the strongest person your Maximum Leader knows personally.

As it turns out, he also has a BA from Cornell University, and ran his own business for a number of years. He is smart, well (and soft)-spoken, and a generally plesant guy to be around.

And did your Maximum Leader mention that he is a convicted felon who has spent one year in a medium security prison and is now on a work-release from a minimum security prison? His work-release will continue for at least another 18 months.

His crime? Contempt of Court.

You see, Joe is somewhat exceptional in his family. His family are poor decendents of slaves (as Joe once told your Maximum Leader). He doesn’t know where he got his brains (as he will point out). But he got them in a huge powerful package. He used his physical prowess to get to a good college, where he made the most of his completely subsidized education. But many of his kin are not gifted either physcially or mentally.

Indeed one of his relations is a thief and serial father of bastard children. And not a particularly adept one (thief that is) at that. The thief has spent more than a little time in “the poke.” One time, a little over two years ago, this relative of Joe’s offered him a nice plasma TV at a deeply discounted price. Joe was suspicious at first, but familiarity and a desire to help out a relative who needed money to support his kids wore down his suspicions and he bought the TV. A few weeks later the police came to Joe’s house. They asked about the relative. They checked out the TV. It was stolen.

The police asked Joe from whom he got the TV. Joe’s response, “I don’t recall.” The police and the Commonwealth’s Attorney put the squeeze on Joe. They knew he was covering for his relative. Just come out and testify. Joe’s memory continued to fail him.

Joe says that he encouraged his relative to do the right thing and turn himself in. Ask for a plea deal or something. But the thief, true to his thieving nature, did not.

In the end, Joe got 3 years for Contempt. Joe’s business (really self-employment with a sometimes partner) ended. He sold many (most) of his assets to pay his legal fees. And is now on a work-release program. He is trying to figure out how he is going to get himself started again when his time is up.

So your Maximum Leader asks you, should Joe have tattled? Should he have saved himself? Should he have testified in a case he knew would send his repeat offender relative to “the poke” for a very very very long time? Or did he do the right thing?

You all can ruminate on this one for a while andget back to your Maximum Leader after you’ve thought it out.

Carry on.