The Maximum Leader enjoys Yahoo’s News of the Odd, so his humble minister will offer up:

Man Sues Neighbor For Breaking Up His Marriage

As I had discussed in a previous post, the Mike World Order will repeal all those silly monogamy laws. Unfortunately for the Maximum Leader, the good Sadie at Mirthful Ones seems to be in a relationship and might not be interested in becoming wife number three (after Mrs. Villain and Jennifer Love Hewitt).

Since the Mike World Order will rely on a literal interpretation of the Bible to command obedience from the masses, I suggest he follow the example of King David (sorry, Irish Lad. You seem nice enough, but the Maximum Leader has purge power):

From 2 Samuel:

11:1
And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem.

11:2
And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.

11:3
And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?

11:4
And David sent messengers, and took her; and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house.

Heh. Click on the link to read the rest. Luckily, even after David had the husband killed, God didn’t punish David. The child was killed by God for David’s sin and David got to keep his ill-gotten booty.

Wait. This started off as a humorous riff. But now I’m distressed. THIS is the morality Ralph Reed wants to legislate? Stop the world. I wanna get off.

I have been a bit remiss in posting lately - essay tests to grade AND hungry infant.

So here are some quick responses to the prolific Maximum Leader:

Scott Peterson. Glad he is convicted. Didn’t think it would happen. While I oppose the death penalty in principle, this is one I would like to see in reality. This is the problem with having a purely intellectual position; when I see stomach-churning evil, I want to kill criminals on an emotional level. In principle,I believe vigilante justice is wrong. But if it was my daughter at the bottom of San Francisco Bay, Mr. Peterson would not have to worry about old sparky. He might be wearing a vest when he leaves the courthouse, but with my scope I should be able to do a head shot. Just sayin’.

Bill Bennett. I have blogged before that I did not have a problem with his gambling. The Big Ho relates that he initially lied about his games-of-chance-addiction. If so, the immorality is in the lie, not the game. I agree with the Maximum Leader that the gambling, by itself, is not immoral. It may shock our readers, but I assure you tat Mike and I actually do agree on quite a lot. We just don’t blog about those issues ‘cuz it t’aint no fun.

Cockfighting. Ban it. Take the spectators, attach metal spurs to their feet, handcuff their hands behind their back, and drop the lot of ‘em in a pit. Wait till a winner has emerged. Fill in pit.

Arafat. Was it wrong for me to take pleasure in the death of another human being? What particularly amuses me is the idea that somewhere in a Swiss bank is a huge chunk o’ embezzled cash AND Arafat’s paranoia preventing him from giving the account number to anyone. Some Swiss bankers are quite amused.

Arafat was not a good leader. His people’s misery has continued because of his unrealistic goal of committing genocide. Continual struggle against the oppressor with no hope of success is immoral, even if you don’t target children like the Palestinians do. They, as a people, would be better off if they realized that Israel is here for the long term and started building a new, accomodationist nation.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader cannot resist one more story off the wire. Trial Starts in Alleged Rent-For-Sex Case.

So scummy landlord agrees to have sex with female tennants in exchange for waiving deposits or monthly rent. Was that written into the contract? Your Maximum Leader is not a lawyer, but if something was agreed to in writing and not against the law… Well… Where is the case? Now if the scummy landlord did, as alleged, enter some tennants’ apartments and steal things when they refused sex that is a crime. But why not just evict them? They weren’t living up to their end of the agreement.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader felt it would be a good thing to give his minions a quick rundown of news items they may have misse. (With pithy Reynolds-esque commentary)

Lionel files for bankruptcy. Very sad. Right before Christmas too. One would hope some big conglomerate would buy them up and keep them going.

This must be Photoshoped.

Wanna see one hell of a wild hog (but not wild boar)? Click here. Can you imagine having a hungry pig that large coming after you? Eeek!

One person stabbed at Vibe Awards. Only one? And they didn’t die? How disappointing. Your Maximum Leader suggests they practice their technique.

The Who is in the studio again. Why? Please no. Who needs the money now?

All you Scottish Smokers give us your best Gibson-as-Wallace cry now: “Freeeedoooommmm!” Heh. Not likely.

David Lee Roth trains to be paramedic. Why? Van Halen kicked him out again? College bars don’t need “house singer?”

And finally, your Maximum Leader would caption this photo, “No Saut! Not in front of the baby!”

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is disgusted. He normally holds the Queen of Great Britain in rather high regard. She is an intelligent woman who knows much more than people give her credit for. (Did you know that during WWII she was a truck mechanic? And she’s been known to work under the hood from time to time… And your Maximum Leader isn’t talking about Prince Phillip’s hood either…) Well, your Maximum Leader is just disgusted to hear that on an impending visit by French President Jacques Chirac to Windsor to visit the HM the Queen, the name of one of the rooms of Windsor Castle will be temporarially renamed. The “Waterloo Chamber” will be renamed (for Chirac’s visit) the “Music Room.”

Great Jeezey Chreezey! Your Maximum Leader can hardly fathom it. He only hopes that it was some hypersensitive protoccol droid that felt this change had to be made so as to not offend the French. Your Maximum Leader wonders, does Jacques Chirac go around with some sort of inferiority complex because of Napoleon’s defeat? If he doesn’t feel chronically inferior due to Napoleon, perhaps he should for French collaboration in WWII.

Ack.

And your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat to Rachel for posting the article on her outstanding site.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was watching Dr. Strangelove on his computer over the weekend. It is one of his favourite films. So in a strange moment of serendipity he noticed this piece by James Earl Jones in the Wall Street Journal today which notes that Dr. Strangelove is 40 years old this year. Click though and read some of Jones’ remembrances of the making of the film.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader has met James Earl Jones. In fact, your Maximum Leader has shared part of a meal with James Earl Jones. He is a big man, in every sense of the word. He is physically large. But he has a gravitas which fills a space. And there is a hypnotic quality to his voice that doesn’t fully come through in film or audio recording. And one more thing, James Earl Jones could really put away the fried chicken - the main entree during the meal we shared.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been engaged in other matters today and hasn’t had enough time to blog about the myriad ideas cascading like rivulets through his creased brain. But he does want to take a moment to ask an open question to his good Poet Laureate who, in ever so timely a fashion, is piling on Bill Bennett.

Now we can all accept as read that Bennett has admitted to losing lots of money in casinos in Vegas and Atlantic City. Also, we can accept as read that he has been a constant advocate of traditional values in America and is the author of best-selling books on that subject. But your Maximum Leader doesn’t really see the hypocrisy in Bennetts actions. Bennett’s gambling losses did not take required financial resources from his family. No financial responsibility that Bennett had went unattended. He had large sums of money available, and wasted them.

While your Maximum Leader will agree that is not admirable, he doesn’t think it runs to the immoral. Bennett was engaging in a legal activity with disposable funds. And it is important to note that Bennett hasn’t, to your Maximum Leader’s knowledge, in any of his books or public pronouncements made any statement on the immorality of gambling.

Your Maximum Leader would completely agree with the Big Hominid if Bennett had been railing gainst gambling for years (or even once or twice) in public while secretly partaking of the forbidden fruit. If this were the case, then he would be no better than a Jim Bakker type of charlatan. But it is not the case. Or if Bennett’s gambling had caused his family to suffer financially as a result of his losses that would be a moral failing. But again this is not the case.

Your Maximum Leader feels that Bill Bennett is perfectly qualified, and remains qualified, to speak on behalf of moral issues in America. If your Maximum Leader remembers an interview with Bennett when all this was first news he admitted that he set a bad example in this area, especially for people who didn’t have the resources to lose. But is the Big Hominid contending that in order to be qualified to speak on moral issues one must be completely without fault?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is disappointed in the United States Supreme Court. They have no problem jumping into political questions like elections. But they don’t have the guts to hear a case about an Oklahoma constitutional ban on cockfighting. Surely there are no more important issue facing our great republic than the banning (by referendum no less) of animal blood sports! Your Maximum Leader respectfully request that the Supreme Court re-examine its refusal to hear this humble petition brought forth by blood-lusty Okies.

Humm… Sadie is in Oklahoma isn’t she? She’s lusty. Your Maximum Leader has never picked up on her having a blood-lust though. (Perhaps she’d not mind a little scratch now and then in the midst of “fun.”) Your Maximum Leader wonders how stands Sadie on the issue of poultry blood sports?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader notes that he’s been disappointed that with all of our technical expertise, innovation, and economic might the US hasn’t been able to build a jet that could break the 7000 miles per hour mark.

Oh! Your Maximum Leader may have spoken too soon. NASA Jet Will Try to Go 7,000 Mph

Your Maximum Leader hopes the barrier is broken. Bravo to the outstanding men and women of NASA.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was over on Blimpish’s site today and decided to try his hand at a Rum & Monkey quiz.

Your Maximum Leader is: an irredeemabl eejitous, conservative, tight as fuck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

That makes your Maximum Leader 75% compatible with Blimpish.

All in all, not bad.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows that sometimes life gets his minions down. Need a lift o minionly one? Go now and read Jeff’s latest.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was directed to a fascinating article in the Telegraph entitled “There was never any need for the NHS to begin with.” Very interesting piece. Many thanks to the Cranky Professor.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has some non-sequitor blogging he’d like to get done. If you aren’t in the mood, well just sit there and read because this is your Maximum Leader blogging.

As many of you know, your Maximum Leader doesn’t obsess over site traffic or referral stuff. But, from time to time it makes him happy to mention that there are more and more minions out there every month. According to the good techs at your Maximum Leader’s hosting company (Superb.net - great guys, they are highly recommended by your Maximum Leader) in October 2004 this site received 7122 unique visitors. Wow. We’re also averaging about 275 unique visits a day. Double wow. Who’da thunk it? Certainly not your Maximum Leader when he started blogging…

And speaking of interesting site server items…

Two visitors have found their way to Nakedvillainy via a the search term “how fucking much is an F-150 camper top?”

That was a new one to your Maximum Leader. He’s seen the “Jennifer Love Hewitt Naked Photos” or “Naked Jaime Pressly Photos” or the “naked gay” links before. But never an inquiry concerning a camper top for a Ford F-150. Except for the Smallholder, your Maximum Leader doesn’t know anyone who owns an F-150. He knows one feller who owns an F-350. Most of the truck owners your Maximum Leader knows are Chevy Silverado guys/gals. If your Maximum Leader owned a real pickup truck, he suspects it would be a Chevy Silverado SS. But as it stands the only Chevy at the Villainschloss is Mrs. Villain’s Suburan.

At this point, you minions are scratching your heads/chins/other body parts wondering. You’re wondering, “Is this it? If so, our Maximum Leader has gotten pretty friggin lame.”

Rest assured dear minions, your Maximum Leader is just lame-o blogging today. If you think this is bad, you should have read the two or three other posts that he deleted…

Moving along…

Your Maximum Leader wants to ask what is the appeal of Glamour Shots? Does Glamour Shots even exist anymore?

Google to the rescue… Obviously they do as they still have a website.

Your Maximum Leader asks this rhetorical question because today he was walking through the garage of the dealership at which he purchased the Villainmobile. (He was there to inspect some work being done on the Villainmobile.) While moving through the repair bays filled with cars he noticed a “Glamour Shot.” The offending “Glamour Shot” was affixed to the lid of a mechanic’s tool box. Now, your Maximum Leader - having a keen sense of observation, and the obvious - noticed that the mechanic in question was a husky man of about 55 years of age. The woman in the photo was the equal of the mechanic in age and proportion.

And the woman in the photo was tarted up like a $2 whore during “Fleet Week” in New York City circa 1938.

She looked nothing like any of the people displayed on the Glamour Shots website.

The first thing that crossed your Maximum Leader’s mind was, “Thank heavens that is not your Maximum Leader’s regular mechanic. Having that photo in plain sight would cause us to have to sever our professional relationship.”

The second thing that crossed your Maximum Leader’s mind was the great unanswerable question. Do the unattractive believe that sequins, soft light, a hazy filter, and too much makeup will really make them look “glamourous?” Your Maximum Leader realizes that at best he is remarkably average looking. No amount of work or artistry on the part of a photographer will change that. So why does the herd continue to enrich these franchises in exchange for atrocious photos?

Your Maximum Leader cannot figure it out.

But rest assured, if it keeps the herd docile; the practice will continue in the Mike World Order.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as you have guessed, stopped reading Andrew Sullivan’s blog a while ago. He was just too shrill on the gay marriage issue for your Maximum Leader. Well, your Maximum Leader wouldn’t have given Sully a thought had it not been for this post over on the Wunderkinder blog.

Did your Maximum Leader read that correctly? Sullivan becoming understanding of some people who might oppose gay marriage!

Well it seems as though Sully is making a start to try and see that some people have an opinion different from his.

As your Maximum Leader has said before, it has been almost impossible to have a clear-headed conversation with a real advocate of gay marriage. They were too fanatical. It seems as though the outcome of the election has caused some fanatics to become less so.

It is a start.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t read Andi’s blog as religiously as he should. (Pun unintentional.) But he was quite capitvated by her latest post concerning her pilgrimage to Sarnath. You’ll have to click through and scroll down to Sunday, October 31, 2004: Sarnath: Do the Hokey-Pokey!

Your Maximum Leader highly commends it to his minions.

Carry on.