Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is feeling a little under the weather. (Excursus: Your Maximum Leader was just listening to a podcast about idiomatic expressions and “under the weather” was mentioned as a phrase that causes foreigners - especially Asians - much grief to learn.) He was self-medicated and asleep by 8:30 last night. Tonight might be a repeat…

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader was reading over a number of the blogs on his sidebar and a few thoughts came to him…

First off, a few items from our friend FLG at Fear & Loathing in Georgetown. In this post FLG recommends that your Maximum Leader invest some money in the Vice Fund. Your Maximum Leader wasn’t sure, but he thought that he had put some money in the Vice Fund. A quick call to his financial advisor confirmed that there was indeed some money in the Vice Fund. So there… That is good to know…

Next up, It seems your Maximum Leader has ruffled FLG’s feathers… FLG is a little disappointed in the fact that his blog had to labor its way up to the Legion of Villainy, but Rooked just magically appeared there. What can your Maximum Leader say? There is injustice in the world… That and Rooked has all those lovely photos of the pretty girls…

(NB to FLG: Your Maximum Leader will buy you a drink to soothe the injustice of it all sometime soon. If he had had your number he would have asked you to join him at the Tombs on Saturday night…)

In other news…

Your Maximum Leader has decided it is time to update a list he’s kept for quite a while… Here are the first updates since 2005…

40 Signs of the Mike World Order.
(In no particular order)

1. Your Maximum Leader’s profile on all the coins.
2. A huge democratically elected multi-cameral parliament that meets continually, debates endlessly, accomplishes nothing.
3. Identity papers.
4. Show trials. (With free admission!)
5. A “tattoo” tax. You get the first small (under 3″x3″) tattoo for free. All others taxed at exhorbitant rates. No exclusions for “cultural heritage” tattoos. O.J. retried, found guilty, and stoned to death.
6. All traces of Michael Jackson removed from the face of the Earth. (Yes, even “Thriller.”)
7. Saint Elvis.
8. The dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt becomes new model for Statue of Liberty.
9. Statue of “Liberty” renamed Statue of “Conformity to the Mike World Order.”
10. Special lanes on all highways for the exclusive use of “Friends Of Mike”
11. Beer for the People!
12. Distilled spirits for the elites!
13. Huge monthly military parades, for no particular reason.
14. Free digital cable for the People!
15. At least 5 quality programs on digital cable at any given time.
16. MLNN, the Maximum Leader News Network.
17. Ted Turner dragged out and shot, just for fun.
18. Public executions. (With free admission!)
19. Did I just say “Beer for the People?” I meant to say “FREE high-quality Beer for the People!”
20. Permits required before people can wear spandex in public.
21. One radio station broadcasting all Richard Wagner, all the time.
22. One radio station broadcasting all Elvis, all the time.
23. Lindsay Lohan v. Britney Spears Hillary Duff - to the death!
24. “No Blood, No Foul” rule introduced to the NBA to make games more interesting.
25. No hockey teams in places that do not naturally get snow during the winter.
26. Bud Selig dragged out and shot for crimes against baseball.
27. New TV show: Pundit Deathmatch! Reigning champion - Ann Coulter!
28. Barbara Striesand being forced to clean the Big Hominid’s bathroom, with her tounge.
29. Permits required of couples before breeding.
30. Honest labeling of organic products.
31. Photos of topless women on Page 3 of every reputable newspaper.
32. (For the ladies!) Photos of hunky guys on Page 5 of every reputable newspaper.
33. Music and Art appreciation taught in all grades at all schools. (RCBfA guidelines to be determined later.)
34. No one over the age of 50 allowed on “Dancing with the Stars.” Sorry Cloris, your Maximum Leader would rather see more chicks like Shannon Elizabeth or Stacy Keibler. One cable channel broadcasting the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt all the time.
35. The new MS-Windows OS will be both intuitive and functional.
36. School children taught the poetry of the Big Hominid in 10th grade.
37. Bill and Hillary forced to live together and like it.
38. Shame and humiliation restored to civil society, through liberal use of (and strategic placement of) stocks and pillorys.
39. People allowed to drive as fast as they want on toll roads. (You’re paying for it afterall.)
40. Perpetual happiness for the masses under the benevolent rule of an enlighted Maximum Leader.
(Verision 1.5, November 2008)

There you have it…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is tired. He is tired due to a combination of lack of sleep and the onset of some nasal stuffiness.

Why is your Maximum Leader tire due to lack of sleep? Well… Friday night he went to a formal ball and didn’t get home and to bed until way past his normal bedtime. Indeed, he was only crawling into be at 2am. Then he woke up on Saturday morning to the loving embrace of his villainous progeny. That occured at about 7 am.

Then on Saturday, your Maximum Leader and his good friends Kevin, Smallholder and Polymath got together and went out to see Bruce Campbell’s new flick “My Name is Bruce” at the E Street Cinema in DC.

The orginal plan was for Smallholder to buy tickets to the 7:45 pm showing. After the 7:45 showing the man himself, Bruce Campbell, would give a little talk and answer some questions. Being geeks, this appealed to us all.

Alas, Smallholder isn’t as technology savvy as we would like. He has trouble with Al Gore’s fancy interwebs and clicked on the 5:30 pm showing (one without Bruce Campbell). So… We saw the early showing and missed out on Bruce Campbell.

We toyed with the idea of trying to sneak around in the the cinema and insinuate ourselves into the 7:45 showing and get to see the movie twice and Bruce Campbell once. Alas… There were cinema employees crawling all over the place to assure that this very course of action could not take place. Your Maximum Leader supposes that if we’d had a little more time to plan (and slightly fewer scruples) we could have made it work out. As it turned out, we now have something to hold over the Smallholder’s head and did get to see the film. Mocking Smallholder for not being able to click the correct circle will almost be worth missing the main event.

After the film, we four trudged up to Georgetown and had sandwiches at “The Tombs” - a favorite of Kevin’s since his Hoya days.

After “The Tombs” we dropped Kevin off at his house and returned to the Villainschloss. Then we watched Tivo’ed episodes of “Chelsea Lately” and “Get Wild with Cindy Garrison.” We turned in at about 1am. Then it was up at 7am with the kiddies and breakfast. Smallholder and Polymath left in the late morning to return to their homes. Your Maximum Leader cleaned up the Villainschloss and watched football. It was during football that he realized that his nose was runny and that he was feeling worn down. Rather than doing the smart thing and going to bed early, he had to stay up and watch the Redskins/Cowboys game.

Tonight he will likely be out by 8 pm…

Review of the film will follow…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has always had a favorable view of Mitch McConnell. It was with great interest that your Maximum Leader watched for Kentucky results on Election Day. He wanted to see if McConnell would win another term in the Senate (and by winning keep his position as Minority Leader). McConnell did win. And now he appears to be the most important Republican in Washington now.

Did you see George Will’s piece on McConnell today? Will concludes:

McConnell is Kentucky’s most important politician since Henry Clay, “the Great Compromiser.” Clay’s attempts to defuse the sectional crisis rooted in slavery failed, but they bought time for Northern strength — in population and industrial muscle — to become sufficient to save the nation. McConnell, too, has the patience that politics repays and that the Republican recuperation might require.

Your Maximum Leader agrees with this sentiment. We’ll see what happens.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that FLG is out there defending Latin on a pretty regular basis. His defence of Latin reminded your Maximum Leader of a post from waaay back in March of 2006.

Sir Mix-a-lot’s magnum opus: De clunibus magnis amandis oratio

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t been motivated to write much. To be honest, he’s been motivated to write something more thoughtful and meaty than the shit he’s been slapping up here recently.

But until that happens…

Mr Atoz over on Agent Bedhead’s site points out the most important (and underreported) election results from last Tuesday.

Bacon is a winner.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was going to write a polemic for President-Elect Obama for today. Alas, he started to write and didn’t like the tone he was going to take. So, he will rewrite and post later…

But you really ought to read Mrs P’s story in the comment section of the previous post. A taste:

I recall Squeeze being one of the mainstays of the music selections for the parties my best friend and I used to throw back in the Boston days. She had this terrific newly renovated condo in Back Bay - exposed brick walls hard wood floors and deck - very mid to late ’80’s. And you’ll especially appreciate this feature - it had been -before renovation- one of the first buildings the Boston Strangler had struck…

It just gets better from there.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s iPod dished this out last night…

Make of it what you will.

Carry on.

PS - Before some of his liberal friends start writing him and calling him a right-wing-nut-job predicting the end times… You should also know that the olde iPod also dished out “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John, “Finland” by Monty Python, “If I Can Dream” by Elvis, “Black Coffee in Bed” by Squeeze, and “Baby It’s Cold Outside” by Tom Jones. So your Maximum Leader really doesn’t think his iPod is predicting the end of the world…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has voted already. In fact he voted this morning. The whole experience took him about 4 minutes. He was the 257th person to vote in his precinct. On most election days (he tends to vote at the same time most elections - the morning rush is done and lunch has not yet begun), he is normally he is between the 40th and 60th person to vote.

He voted as he has indicated he would. He did go ahead an pull the trigger for Mark Warner for Senate. If Warner turns out to be a typical Democrat (which one can argue he was not in the Governor’s mansion) in the Senate your Maximum Leader will be sadly disappointed. He will also never vote for Warner again… But he gets one try (especially since your Maximum Leader didn’t vote for him for Governor).

Your Maximum Leader also voted for a roads bond issue. Normally he is contrarian and votes against bond issues. But given the crappy economy and all the construction type people in the region needing work, he opted for a little “pump priming.”

Your Maximum Leader has also received 5 recorded calls from Senator McCain, Governor Palin, Mark Warner, and Rob Wittman (your Maximum Leader’s congressman) to get out and vote.

Your Maximum Leader was offered a drink by the kind people supporting Barack Obama in front of the polling place. And by drink he means coffee or a soft drink. Discovering that the Obama supporters only had regular Coke (not Diet) your Maximum Leader declined the offer. If they had Diet Coke your Maximum Leader would have gladly taken a coke…

So, your Maximum Leader must run an errand or two… Then he thinks it is a night of computer games and fine Scotch for him…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has very little to add right now. You all know that he’ll be casting his vote for John McCain tomorrow. So will Mrs Villain. So will a large portion of your Maximum Leader’s extended family. He hopes that McCain can pull out a win in Virginia tomorrow. He also hopes that McCain pulls out an electoral win as well. He isn’t expecting it to happen. He maintains that Obama will win the day tomorrow.

Your Maximum Leader thinks that McCain will carry Pennsylvania (narrowly). But that will be the only big surprise on the electoral map.

You know what the worst thing about this election being nearly over is?

The 2012 elections will begin on January 21, 2009.

Carry on.