Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was just over looking at the whole “brrreeeport” game that many bloggers are starting to play. Wanting to know what exactly all this was he read the Llama’s post, then the Commissar’s post, then the SynchSpeed post, and finally Robert Scoble’s post.

So… In taking a hint from Steve, your Maximum Leader will try to protect a lame-o list of stuff we talk about here at Naked Villainy. They would be:

brrreeeport the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt
brrreeeport Jaime Pressly (for the Smallholder)
brrreeeport Kate Moss (for the Minister of Propaganda)
brrreeeport Mike World Order
brrreeeport villainy (in general - just villainy)
brrreeeport dragging Barbara Striesand out and shooting her
brrreeeport thongs
brrreeeport sensible discussion about abortion
brrreeeport bad haiku
brrreeeport farming
brrreeeport holstein dairy cows
brrreeeport norwegian bull semen
brrreeeport mini-vaca
brrreeeport one word movie reviews
and of course
brrreeeport toad sexing

Your Maximum Leader thinks those might be the biggies. If he can think of any terms he’d like to “brrreeeport-squat” so to speak he’ll add them.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, until a few moments ago, completely forgot that he will be in Dee Cee for business tomorrow and Friday. This means two possible things to you all.

First, there will likely not be much blogging tomorrow or Friday.

Second, if you are a loyal reader and in Dee Cee and would like to meet up with your Maximum Leader tomorrow after 4pm you should give him a call. By call he means shoot him an e-mail.

BTW, if you a really nice your Maximum Leader might buy a drink…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Fox News has announced that Dick Cheney will speak with Britt Hume tonight. Your Maximum Leader hasn’t chimed in on Dick Cheney shooting Harry Wittington over the weekend for a number of reasons. First off, out of some respect for Mr. Wittington. Your Maximum Leader hopes he recovers fully. Secondly, what can your Maximum Leader say that hasn’t already been said.

Of course, your Maximum Leader would recommend that Britt Hume wear a flak jacket and a face shield during the interview tonight. You can’t ever tell what Dick might do if things start to go badly…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to share a random thought with you.

Your Maximum Leader is convinced that all those little houses along the sides of various roads around the country with small hand-painted signs advertising psychics, palm readers, and tarot card readings are all just fronts for laundering money from the illegal drug trade.

Just a random thought there…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader returned to his physician today. He’s still not completely over his recent bout. Indeed, he has fluid in his ear so badly that he can hardly hear out of his right ear. He now has a few more scripts at the pharmacy that should help out and beat this thing once and for all.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Japanese women are “bitter at Valentines chocolate duty.”

Heh. D’ja gettit? Bitter… Chocolate… Completely hillarious…

Anyhoo…

Japanese women are upset that they have to buy chocolate for the men in teir lives on Valentine’s Day. Welcome to the Western World sister! Your Maximum Leader feels your pain at spending outragous amounts of money on candy and flowers. But the western liberal democratic capitalist systems laughs at you! Hah!

That being said… Your Maximum Leader spend $81US on Valentine’s Day gifts for Mrs. Villain and the Villainettes. Sad really. Your Maximum Leader supposes he deserves to be labeled as going “Vichy” on the V-Day. Thanks Robbo. You know how to hurt your Maximum Leader…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will, against his better judgement, wish all his readers a happy Valentine’s Day. He says against his better judgement because he honestly feels that this is a “holiday” foisted upon the world by the likes of Hallmark and sundry chocolatiers. Oh yeah… Florists are responsible as well. Your Maximum Leader is sure that he shouldn’t have to re-educate his readers that Saint Valentine was beaten and beheaded in Rome in 269 for baptising the faithful, pardoning (spiritually that is) prisoners, and other stuff that saints do. So remember, those red roses you are sending your sweetie today don’t really represent love. They represent the blood flowing out of Saint Valentine’s beheaded body.

How is that for a romantic image for ye?

Anyhoo… Out of fear of the wrath of Mrs. Villain your Maximum Leader wil be engaging in shameless commercialism on this “Valentines Day.” He will get some flowers and will likely get some cards too. Now that the Villainettes are old enough he must get three cards and three sets of flowers. Your Maximum Leader may also break down and get some chocolate too. Some Lindt or Godiva. (Because Hershey and Nestle just aren’t gifting chocolates you know.)

Since he is debasing himself by “playing along” with the shameless commercialism surrounding this holiday allow your Maximum Leader to debase himself even further by plugging various blogger swag…

As you all know nothing quite says “I love you” so much as a Naked Villainy T-shirt. They come in Long and Short Sleeved models… Ladies you should recall that your man will feel confident and look particularly sexy when wearing a “Well Hung” Naked Villainy T-shirt. Ladies, please note that you will look sexy and irresistable when wearing your Naked Villainy camisole and thong combination.

But let us say, just for the sake of argument that you are completely insane and don’t want any Naked Villainy swag… You could check out the Big Hominid’s swag store. There you could get sick and twisted mugs, cards, mousepads, and more!

Let us say that the Big Hominid’s store isn’t for you… You could always check out Llama swag! A Llama tee is perfect for any occasion. And a Llama stein would look good filled with beer - or sitting on your desk filled with old ballpoint pens.

Of course, not all blogger swag consists of t-shirts and mugs. Your Maximum Leader’s friend Jeff reminds us that man must also know what time to BBQ. So you could purchase a Beautiful Atrocities wall clock and BBQ apron!

You might choose to start your offspring off on the right foot by swaddling them in Perfidious swaddling clothes. Then when they grow up they will become Hateful, Talentless, War-loving, Trailer Trash.

That, dear readers, is all of the shameless commercial promotion your Maximum Leader can stand for one day…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hears that we are living in a new age. One where corporations will no longer engage in creative accounting and other financial slights-of-hand.

Lucky for us the Federal Government is under no such restriction.

Did you see the little tidbit on the AP last week? Your Maximum Leader almost missed it. Ready? Here tis: Gov’t Budget Surplus Hits $21B for January.

So let your Maximum Leader see if he gets it. The Feds collected $230 billion in January. The Feds also only happened to spend $209 billion in January. So the Feds came out $21 billion ahead.

Until next month when tax reciepts hit the $225 billion level (February is a short month) and spending hits the $500 gagillion level. Okay… It might not be $500 gagillion. But we all know the number is close to that…

Your Maximum Leader is still wondering why one would be proud of having a “surplus” for one month when you have a national debt in the bagillions of dollars…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that Romano Mussolini died last week. He was 78. Romano Mussolini was the youngest child of Italian Fascist Leader Benito Mussolini. Romano Mussolini became an accomplished jazz musician and recorded with many modern greats of the genre. Romano was a lucky man in many respects. Not the least of which was his marrage to Sophia Loren’s younger (and supposedly just as good looking) sister, Anna Maria.

Of course, your Maximum Leader is rather fond of Romano and Anna Maria’s daughter, Alessandra Mussolini. Some of you may recall that Alessandra was a prominent Italian politician with the National Alliance Party. The National Alliance is a right-wing party in Italy, originally founded to give some support to Benito Mussolini’s National Socialist movement. When joining the Berlusconi Government the National Alliance formally renounced fascism. At that point Alessandra left the National Alliance. Your Maximum Leader seems to remember that her new political party is called the Social Alternative Party or perhaps the Social Freedom Party… Or something like that. It is an amalgamation of various right-wing parties.

Of course, if you’ve never seen a photo of Alessandra allow your Maximum Leader to share some photos of her. Here and NSFW here.

She seems to favour her mother’s side more than dads…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads on the news wires that Ford and GM are bickering about who is the number one US auto manufacturer. GM maintains that its Chevy Division put them over the top. Ford maintains that Chevy sales aren’t all that and concequently they (Ford) are Number One!

Of course, neither of them mention Toyota. Which according to much of what your Maximum Leader has read is the WORLDS largest automaker.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the Reuters news wire is reporting that Donald Rumsfeld is ready to “run a horse ranch.” It seems as though during a visit with King Mohammed of Morocco the US Secretary of Defence joked to the care taker of the King’s horse ranch that he (the care-taker) “had the best job in the world. Would you like to trade jobs?”

Okay… Rumsfeld likes horses. Rumsfeld owns a horse ranch of his own. Rumsfeld was making small talk with someone that didn’t revolve around the theme of bombing someone back to the neolithic period…

Remind your Maximum Leader what makes this news?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was very surprised when the Maryland state quarter was released a number of years ago. The obverse of the coin showed George Washington (as ususal), but the reverse showed the cupola of the Maryland state Capitol building and bore the moniker “The Old Line State.” Your Maximum Leader has called Maryland many things over the years (most of them not suitable for a family blog - if only this was a family blog); but “The Old Line State” was never one of them. Indeed, your Maximum Leader had no idea what line Maryland was referring to. Neither did he know if it was old or not. Eventually he decided that the Marylanders were talking about the Mason-Dixon line. This may or may not be the case, but that is his story and he is sticking to it.

Your Maximum Leader brings this up because of an article on the WSJ Op/Ed site last week. The article, by John Fund, was detailing the many voting-law irregularities in Maryland. Your Maximum Leader has excerpted the first few paragraphs of the Fund article below the fold. If you are interested in a taste go and click through. It is hard to beat that great first line, “It should normally be difficult to pick the worst state legislature in America, but Maryland’s is way out in front.” As a proud Virginian that line just makes your Maximum Leader smile, smile, smile.

For as long as your Maximum Leader can remember there have been accusations of vote tampering and vote fraud in Maryland. He supposes the most recent and most eggregious incident was the sudden “win” of Parris Glendenning over Ellen Sauerbrey by 6000 votes in 1994. Those 6000 votes were “discovered” in Baltimore just as it looked like Ms. Sauerbrey was going to win the statehouse.

If the US of A is really just a dressed up Banana Republic when it comes to how we conduct our elections then surely Maryland puts the banana in our republic.

Your Maximum Leader is very concerned with vote fraud and irregularities from all around the country. He proposes a simple solution - really a stop-gap solution until the Mike World Order comes about. Go back to “Taking a Division” as the nation did in the early days of the Republic. A voter would walk into the county courthouse and the circut court judge (aided by a few upstanding citizens) would tell everyone for Candidate X to stand on one side of the courthouse and everyone for Candidate Y to stand on the other. Then everyone would count who stood where and the count would be recorded. Your Maximum Leader says we give that a try. See how it works. If it turns out that we don’t like it. Then we can try some high-fallutin’ electronic system that measures voter biometrics to avoid fraud… Or some such beastie…

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, if he may channel Stuart Scott on ESPN, has to say that the Crack Young Staff of The Hatemongers Quarterly is like butter. ‘Cause they’re on a roll…

The Crack Young Staff’s las two entries are incandescently hatemongerish. And your Maximum Leader loves them for it. Clicky here to read about Cindy Sheehan’s eBay auction. Clicky here to read about the Dungeon Master…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was listening to his iPod last night. Do you know what makes the song “Wild Flower” by The Cult (off their great album, Electric) so great?

The tambourine.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, while browsing Brendon’s site, found a little story that filled him with a particular type of glee.

That glee is called: schadenfreude.

Carry on.