Your Minister of Propaganda is in agreement with the Air Marshal concerning the rationale and methodology of the Bush administration concerning the Iraq war. He might however, offer another point of view concerning Iraq’s contributions to terrorism. The Foreign Minister’s easy linking of the War in Iraq with the War on Terror is exactly what the Bush administration would like all Americans to do, without the benefit of debate or contrary opinion. In fact, the invasion of Iraq has created more of a terrorist problem than it solved.

Your Minister of Propaganda served in the military and has no issue, moral or practical, with the killing of terrorists. He also believes that the U.S. military is excellently equipped and prepared for the task. Given the correct intelligence, our military has the technology and expertise for precise attacks on terrorist targets. This is the true battleground of War on Terror, and it’s a war that we’ll be fighting for the next 20 years. Tactically, however, we have sacrificed all of our military advantages over terrorists: providing security in Iraq requires massive amounts of troops (140,000, and growing) in fixed positions throughout the country. Now the terrorists have the upper hand: al-Qaeda can commit minimal resources against our most vulnerable targets, choosing to attack ill-prepared reservists rather than special forces operatives. Consequentially, our military is forced to take ever-increasing force protection measures that make is incrementally more difficult to actually win the ‘hearts and minds’ of everyday Iraqis.

It’s a collosal strategic failure that our military would never have made unless forced. Only a blind belief in the neocon world order — with Iraqis throwing rose petals in the street to welcome U.S. armor — would have made Bush lack of war planning even remotely acceptable from a military perspective. The Foreign Minister, in his August 2nd post, jumps from generalization to generalization until is leads to a new, shiny Middle East. The reality, already, is far different. Our heavy-handed tactics in Iraq have instead given birth to a whole new generation of terrorists. The prison abuses, and the Bush administration’s decision to abandon the Geneva Conventions in our dealings with the enemy, will haunt us forever. “Democracy” in Iraq, where they have no tradition like the checks and balances once visible in our system, will most likely lead to a theocracy like Iran and a civil war with the Kurdish minority. By overthrowing a secular Arab governent, we’ve done exactly what Osama bin Laden wanted us to do: created a chaotic vacuum that looks to every Islamic observer like a imperialistic use of American power. Nice work, Wolfowitz.

Meanwhile, a slew of unanswered questions remain. If you’re fully committed to the war on terror, why shift forces away from Afghanistan, where we know Osama bin Laden is still hiding? If you’re truly committed to rebuilding Iraq and integrating it into the world community, why use economic contracts to punish the French and Germans for not supporting our invasion and instead funneling dollars to companies who support Bush’s reelection? Why pressure Pakistan to capture ‘high-value’ terrorist targets specifically during late July, when the Democrats are having their convention? Why release a terrorist warning, like the Bush administration did yesterday, that is actually based on three-year-old intelligence? Why play such blatant politics with the most serious threat our country is likely to face for the next 50 years?

President Kerry is not going to withdraw from Iraq. Even if he shifted in that direction after the election, you can damn well bet that we’ll have more debate than we did before invading. It’s ass-backwards, but it’s the situation that Bush has stuck us with. Your Minister of Propaganda strongly endorses voting him out of office. At the very least, it’s an opportunity to back away from the self-serving and catastrophically dangerous jingoism of this administration.

Believe.

Oh God, please, not subtlety!!! I’m used to Neo Cons with black and white reality, not shades of grey and textures.

Anyway, regarding Iraq, I believe the UN had a right, and a responsibility to deal with Iraq. I believe the UN utterly failed in this case. In fact, I believe the UN is pretty much an abject failure in many ways, and this situation is typical. The UN has become a forum for despots to air anti-American grievances in a very real way. Go back and read the UN Charter and it becomes obvious that the UN has either lost it’s way, or abandoned it’s purpose. Either way, it F-ed up big time in dealing with Saddam.

As most of us are parents here, let me ask you what happens if you continualy threaten your kid with punishment, yet consistantly fail to follow through? The kid learns your threats are meaningless, and ignores them, right? Sound familiar? At some point, you have to take the toy away, put them in Time out, turn off the TV, or whatever. Same thing with the UN.

Here’s the however… just cuz the UN should have gone in there, doesn’t mean the responsibility falls to us once the UN fails.

If the UN resolutions were the reason behind the war, then Bush should have prosecuted the war through the UN. Skilled diplomacy and sensitive handling of other nations interests could have pulled it off. Bush’s father could have done it. Dubya decided to go it alone. He made it clear we were going to war even if noone went along with us. That fits the definition of unilateral. Tony Blair decided to find some balls, as did a couple dozen other nations. We could very easily have found ourselves stuck in Mesopotamia all alone. We still would have won the war. But it all makes the occupation that much harder.

If the reasoning behind the war was 9/11, then the Bush administration acted on a lie. Iraq wasn’t tied to 9/11 in any way, that much is obvious now.

The whole WMD thing is nebulous. As an argument in and of itsself, it fails. However, we know Saddam had them at one point, and used them in combat against his own people, as well as the Iranians. So to deny their existence is naive. Yet to prosecute a war based on inflated claims that can’t be backed up is wrong, plain and simple. Yes, there is a glorious and wonderful history of trumped up events that lead to war, from the Maine to the Gulf of Tonkin. It doesn’t make any of it right.

The argument that Iraq was a terrorist node is valid. Iraq was funding and suppoting terrorism, and Iraq is one of about half a dozen states that can be construed as real terrorist threats. This line of reasoning in my oppinion makes a very valid case for the war against Iraq. The Bush administration chose not to make this argument.

In any event, there exists a greater argument for war against North Korea, and Saudi Arabia…. Maybe even Syria and Iran than Iraq. We went to war with Iraq because Wolfowitz is stuck in 1991, and Dubya decided to listen to him.

To re-iterate

Yes, the UN should have gone to war, but didn’t. This represents a failure of the UN on a huge scale.

The failure of the UN to go to war doesn’t justify an American unilateral decision to invade Iraq.

The Bush administration put together a shoddy case for war based on crappy intelligence. And I’m giving Dubya and his cronies the benefit of the doubt here. A legit case COULD have been made for war in the framework of a global war on terror, but it wasn’t.

Saddam was a bad man, but there are many other bad men running bad nations. Many of whom are probably greater threats to the US. The fact that Saddam’s regime was brutal, evil, and a threat, doesn’t single him out as a target for war.

I can’t believe you people. Do the UN’s resolutions mean nothing to you? There were UN resolutions on the books that authorized war if Saddam (Iraq) was non-compliant.

World Wide intelligence sources stated that Saddam had WMDs and was working on Nuke capability. EVERYONE believed this including Clinton, Kerry, France, the UK etc.

The middle east is a festering pustule of inhumanity (and has been LONG before Bush was elected).

WAKE UP FOLKS… they are not just burning our flag anymore they are trying to KILL AMERICANS and END AMERICAN DOMINANCE FOREVER.

Maybe you like that idea… I can’t speak for you but their intention was and is not to stop with 9/11 but to make that pale in comparison to what they do next.

And once we are not the dominant world power… Who do you think will fill the void? Oh what benevolent society will show the world the way to peace and enlightenment… ?

Maybe it will only make sense to some when it is Los Angeles that gets itself OsamA-Bombed.

The only way we can win this thing is the democratization of the Middle East. There is not going to be peace in Israel/Palestine until there is freedom and democracy in the region.

We can’t afford to ‘wait’ until the people rise up…. by that time LA may be a glass parking lot (or whatever else AL-Qaeda has up its sleeve) so we had to get the ball moving ourselves.

Since we already had a green light from the UN because of non-compliance to resolutions, and the worlds intelligence communities believed that IRAQ had WMDs, that is where our president decided to strike.

You might not like the thought of pre-emptive war, but we were forced with no alternative. What happens if the next terrorist disaster takes place and there is no Afghanistan to attack? What if they are just 21 Saudi Nationals? Is it ok then to go to war with Saudi Arabia?

Great changes are happening in Iraq. Their people are tasting freedom and will soon be enjoying he fruit of their own democracy. This in turn is putting ENORMOUS pressure on Iraq’s neighbors. Syrians, Jordanians, Saudis, and Iranians are asking themselves ‘why are Iraqi doctors/teachers making more money than I am?’ As freedom, hope and prosperity take over from tyranny and despair, there will be a paradigm shift and a change in the region.
But the forces of ‘evil’ and those that benefit from a repressed Middle East are not going to sit back and let it happen. That is why they are congregating in Iraq to impede Iraqi/US progress for freedom.

To me, the next election will be the most important election of our lives (as John Kerry says it will). The war against terror will be the deciding issue for me as I see that future of a prosperous America depends on winning that war. Not just finding an exit strategy.

I believe that George Bush, if re-elected, will do everything in his power to win the war on terror and that we WILL WIN THE WAR ON TERROR.

On the other hand, I think that John Kerry is building a campaign upon an Iraq exit strategy and not winning in Iraq.

So I am voting for Bush in November.
And God will help the future of Democracy, not just in America, but in the world.

Back to the trenches…..

Quoted from the Minister of Propoganda below

The issue concerning ‘WMD’s’ isn’t whether or not Bush was misled by a
faulty CIA analysis. The real issue is, when it came time to invade Iraq,
whether or not the analysis even mattered.

I have to say, this is a good summary of what has bothered me all along. The feeling that the administration had its course plotted out all along regardless of the facts. One gets the feeling that Iraq was a foregone conclusion, not on September 12, 2001, but rather as soon as it became clear that Dubya was actually going to occupy the White House.

The issue concerning ‘WMD’s’ isn’t whether or not Bush was misled by a faulty CIA analysis. The real issue is, when it came time to invade Iraq, whether or not the analysis even mattered. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield and Wolfowitz (the absence of Powell should be duly noted, and God only knows what Ms. Rice was doing since she obviously wasn’t coordinating between the various departments), have manipulated the “War on Terror” from the very beginning to justify military action against Iraq. After all, while erroneously overstating the presence of a massive and secret program of WMD development, those same CIA analyses consistently stated that Iraq was not an imminent threat to the interests of the United States. Apparently Bush felt comfortable justifying a war with the most questionable part of the CIA analysis while completely ignoring the rest.

Of course the Bush administration’s relentless enthusiasm for the occupation of Iraq, even before 9/11, is well documented, and it is extremely misleading to now suggest that the invasion of Iraq was anything other than pre-ordained. The political manipulation of intelligence condoned by this President (the Office of Special Plans at the Pentagon, for one example) is the grossest abuse of executive power since, well, Iran-Contra. Our efforts to confront al-Qaeda in Afghanistan (efforts the U.S. largely abandoned last year, incidentally, despite the continuing threat of Osama bin Laden), were met with an overwhelming degree of support, both domestic and international. That Bush would co-opt those feelings of national unity and world sympathy to service the invasion and occupation of Iraq — a poorly-planned, poorly-debated and ill-informed exercise in neoconservative expansionism — is unforgivable.

In fairness, the decision by Congress to give the President a blank check for the use of military force is also troubling. Such an avoidance of Constitutional responsibility is wrong, and, in that context, a legitimate complaint against Kerry, Edwards, Kennedy, and the other 74 Senators who favored the resolution. At the very least, Congress should have strictly defined and limited the circumstances under which force would be justified (for example, I doubt that Congress, if forced to debate the issue, would have approved Bush’s rush to war while the U.N. inspectors were still completing their work). Of course Senator Rockefeller, ranking Democrat o the Senate Intelligence Committee, came forward this year and spoke candidly about the Senate vote of October 2002 (obviously, he’s not up for re-election this year). While other Senators may not be so publicly forthcoming, it would require a very selective memory indeed to deny the political pressure the executive branch asserted in its efforts to legitimize the war and limit debate.

In summary, this administration is both reckless and arrogant. They deny even the slightest responsibility for their mistakes; they consistently shift blame in every other direction while viciously stifling all forms of dissent. A vote for Bush in November is an endorsement of this despicable behavior, and God help the future of Democracy if a majority of Americans will condone it.

Believe.

Wow, some post by Rusty Shackleford cncerning the 1.9 million unemployed. Nice link from our Maximum Leader, and indeed, well-worth a quick visit. The good doctor has done quite a bit of analysis to uncover a lie, or possibly just a “non-truth” (as Dr. Shackleford generously allows) on the part of the Democrats.

Republicans, of course, can take pride in the fact that such detailed analysis isn’t necessary to reveal the non-truth of “WMD’s,” “al-Qaeda links,” and best of all, “imminent threat.” They should keep reminding themselves that “it’s not a lie if you believe it yourself.” Your Minister of Propaganda thinks that’s a direct quote from Cheney.

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know why, but he hasn’t felt the impulse to blog much. So rather than bore you all with a link dump, or some sort of turgid prose exposition on some such thing, he decided to wait until something got him off his arse and in front of the ubercomputer.

Well… Nothing has really motivated him, but he is blogging anyway. Without further adieu…

Before you do anything else, please go and read Rusty Shackleford’s exposition on the oft cited, but little understood claim put forth by the Democrats of 1.9 million unemployed. It is well worth your time and trouble. Your Maximum Leader will understand you leaving for a time to read the post. Don’t worry, your Maximum Leader will wait for you.

There. Feel enlightened? You ought to.

Now, on to Convention stuff. Your Maximum Leader would like a great dark chasm to open in the earth and to have James Earl Carter to fall into it. For many years (the Reagan years in fact) your Maximum Leader thought that Carter was a great ex-president. Working on all those houses, teaching sunday school. Then he decided to get back into foreign affairs. That is where he lost your Maximum Leader. Around the time of Bush I, your Maximum Leader then determined that the best thing for an ex-president to do was to quickly exire after his term of office. Less cost to the taxpayer, and more chance for history to start working on him.

William Jefferson Clinton is a master. He can really talk. Your know, your Maximum Leader would like to meet him and have a beer with him and chat about policy wonky things. Your Maximum Leader was impressed that he was so effective in attacking Republicans, without being mean-spirited or letting the crowd get out of control.

Teresa Heinz Kerry was boooooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. Your Maximum Leader made himself a pot of tea to counteract the heavy doses of scotch whisky he was taking before and during that speech.

(NB: Your Maximum Leader has found that when watching large gatherings of Democrats it is best to self-medicate with large doses - unblemished by water or ice - of the “water of life.” Scotch soothes your Maximum Leader during the speeches and keeps him from exclaiming things that the Villainettes shouldn’t hear coming from their dear father. It also prevents your Maximum Leader from pulling “an Elvis” and getting one of his guns and shooting his television.)

Oh… yes… Teresa. She was utterly forgettable. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t think she is a classy person. But frankly, he doesn’t care either and she will have no impact on his vote. And shouldn’t really impact anyone’s vote. If, while you are trying to decide to whom to give your one and only franchise, serious consideration is given to the candidate’s wife, you ought to be dragged out and shot. Indeed, in the MWO candidate’s spouses will be figures standing on a stage; and never uttering a sound.

Howard Dean. Can’t remember a damned thing he said. Must have been the scotch.

John Edwards… If your Maximum Leader has to listen to him say how he is going to give us back our “hope;” your Maximum Leader will fly into a murderous rage and slay many a beast and man without cause.

No. Your Maximum Leader shouldn’t take out his rage on the innocent. He should, instead, attempt to strangle Edwards’ speechwriters with the Codpiece of Eternal Glory.

Al Sharpton. Ohhhhhh… Finally. A Democrat who isn’t afraid of being a Democrat. After listening to the Reverend’s speech, your Maximum Leader stood up, poured himself four-fingers of Glenfiddich in his Edinburgh Crystal tumbler and toasted to a speech well-done and expertly delivered. Damn it. That is what these coventions are supposed to be all about. Pandering to your base. Giving them some red-meat. Motivating them to do their damnest for you. Not all this pussyified “we-have-to-appeal-to-the-soccer-mom-who-will-certainly-be-watching-our-convention-and-not-reading-to-their-kids” bullshit.

Al Sharpton! You are an evil, dangerous man. Your Maximum Leader salutes you! Huzzah!

And in all honesty, your Maximum Leader didn’t watch Kerry’s speech. He wanted to. But he had pressing family business to which he had to attend. Alas, your Maximum Leader will have to get the spin from the talking heads tomorrow.

To be fair, your Maximum Leader feels he now cannot watch Bush’s speech to the Republican Convention. Not that he planned to anyway, as your Maximum Leader makes it a point never to listen to the president speak. He is such a damnable speaker. Your Maximum Leader needs the scotch for him too.

In other convention related news…

Your Maximum Leader has learned that the Minister of Propaganda is in Boston attending the Kerry coronation. He hopes that the good Minister will choose to come back to the blog and tell of his travels and adventures. Your Maximum Leader would love to hear them.

Also, being a good Minister, the Minister of Propaganda has sent your Maximum Leader tribute from Boston. A Kerry Kit from MoveOn.org. He can hardly wait for it to arrive. According to the e-mail notification:

The kit shos a side of John Kerry you may never have seen before, using never-before-seen video, thoughtful articles, and more. The kit comes complete with a DVD featuring an exclusive 10-minute preview from the forthcoming documentary “Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry”. For more information go to http://kerrykit.com.

Your Maximum Leader is as giddy as a schoolgirl waiting for it.

Your Maximum Leader will also relate a quick story about a phone call he took Tuesday afternoon. A friend in Colorado called. She is a rabid Democrat, and great lover of Bill Clinton. She once described in lurid detail what all she would allow the former president to do to her if he asked… That aside. She called to ask if your Maximum Leader had seen Clinton. Then she went to town on how wonderful he was. Your Maximum Leader agreed that he was very good. Not Reagan-esque, but quite good. Certainly the best the Dems have had in many decades. Then she tore into her viseral hatred of George W. Bush. Your Maximum Leader listened to her for a good 15 minutes. Then he asked her if she now understood the viseral hatered of Bill Clinton by some conservatives; as she had used almost the same terms to describe Bush as many have used from the other side to describe Clinton. She stopped talking. Your Maximum Leader heard very heavy breathing on the other end of the line. Then she said that while I might think it is the same type of hatred, it wasn’t becasue Bush is evil; and Clinton only has a wandering penis. Heh.

In non-convention related news…

Have you been keeping up with Kilgore’s writing? Your Maximum Leader loved his post on the Bush twins. And he hopes that he one day gets to meet his appreciation group.

Where the hell is your Maximum Leader appreciation group? Damn you all. (But Kilgore remembered your Maximum Leader in prayer once - and that makes everything okay.)

The Poet Laureate is working. But has not yet posted photos of himself wearing the lab coat with all the sex toys. Chicken? Humm…

By the way. Read Skippy. Daily please. He doesn’t have good permalinks (ie: no permalinks) so your Maximum Leader can’t link to some of his recent posts. But let your Maximum Leader exhort you to read his recent political commentary. He is quite insightful. Also, your Maximum Leader liked reading about the photo requirements for strippers entering Canada. Your Maximum Leader, many moons ago, visited “gentleman’s clubs” in the Toronto area. My what fine specimens of humanity were to be found there!

Check out this quick post over at BRD’s site. Your Maximum Leader chanced to see Streep, Denzel Washington and Jonathan Demne (the director?) on the Today show. They were pratteling on about the Manchurian Candidate. The very fact that they were all convinced that corporate america was determined to undermine our nation was shocking to your Maximum Leader. Sad really.

And finally, Rachel reminds us of what is really important in life. It would be worth a trip to Hawaii to eat in one of Sakai’s restaurants. Remember your Maximum Leader’s official chef is Morimoto.

Minions, your Maximum Leader bids you,

Carry on.

 
The official web site of the British Monarchy.

So the latest we’re hearing is about the creation of a Muslim force to help combat extrimists.  Here’s a reference to it, but it’s all over the news.  Now, it does sound good for Muslims to fight Islamo-terrorists themselves.  Still, creating something that could evolve into a sort of pan-Islamic military force definitely doesn’t sit well for me.  Given the omnipresent subversive nature of Islamo-terrorism within Arab culture, and given the dishonest nature of terrorism to begin with, I could very easily envision a pan-Arab military turning into a complete disaster.

All we need is some gay British officer with a vision to lead them to victory.  Where’s Peter O’Toole when you need him?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was watching the Yankees/Red Sox game last night on ESPN. It was a great game. Everything you want to see in a game in fact.

Except all of the gratuitous shots of John Kerry in the owners box. With Kerry were his wife, one or two of his kids, the Sox ownwers, Tom Brokaw, Katie Couric, and Tim Russert.

Allow your Maximum Leader to make a few stream of conciousness comments.

First, if George W. Bush invited Brokaw, Couric and Russert to a baseball game in NYC during the Republican Convention would they go? Your Maximum Leader puts his money on Brokaw and Russert going. He can’t see Couric sitting that long with Bush. Plus, under that fun and perky veneer there is a snarling animal of leftist loathing.

Second, when the ESPN crew interviewed Kerry (in the 6th?) they asked him a few softball questions. Which is fine, because the candidate was at a game relaxing. He was not stumping. Oh… But wait. The questions turned political. One of the play-y-play guys asked Kerry if he would make steroid use an issue in the campaign. What? With all of the other things going on do we really need the president focusing on doping in sports? Regardless, Kerry did the right thing by saying his campaign was about jobs, opportunity, and the war. There really wasn’t any other sensible answer to give.

Third, John Kerry and your Maximum Leader agree on one issue at least. The Designated Hitter rule in baseball is bad and should go. Huzzah for John F. Kerry! (Note this moment, it might be the only time you hear it.)

Fourth, since when did Ben Affleck start writing Kerry speeches. That was a little factoid your Maximum Leader learned last night. It can’t hurt you to have an Oscar-Award winning writer writing for you. NB to Karl Rove: Do you have Peggy Noonan’s cell phone number? You might need it big boy.

Carry on.

Well, at first your Minister of Propaganda quiz results came up as ‘Batman,’ but the Maximum Leader had already assumed that role (wisely chosen, although one might suspect the Leader’s mustache will chafe inside the mask). Your Minister of Propaganda quickly retook the quiz so he could be ‘Green Lantern’ before any of the other Ministers could claim it. Why Green Lantern, you ask? Because Green Lantern is cool, and someone else is going to get stuck as ‘The Martian Manhunter.’

Whatever the Minister of Agriculture results, Maximum Leader should go ahead and assign him ‘Plastic Man.’

Believe.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader took a quiz he saw over on Skippy’s site. Results:

Now, your Maximum Leader will log off the Ubercomputer and will but Tim Burton’s Batman on the DVD player and watch it…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader mentione in his recap of this little road trip that he was disappointed in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Disappointed because much of the Hall was closed for renovations. Well guess where the stuff that he would have seen in Cooperstown had it not been for the renovation is? Washington DC. At the Smithsonian. Check it out, Baseball as America. How did your Maximum Leader not know this?

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, in addition to changing the poll question, decided to have alittle fun with this post. He found a series of questions on the Llama Butchers site, and decided to answer them himself. So, here are:

35 Things

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR BEDROOM WALLS? Chinese Imperial Yellow. Mrs Villain would like them repainted to an off-white or Ivory. And if Mrs. Villain wills it (domestically) it shall be done.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? The 9/11 Commission Report, Alexander Hamilton, Benjamin Franklin, The Art of Love, and Colossus.
3. WHAT’S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Myself.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Toughie. Risk or Monopoly. Love them both. Chess is very good, but your Maximum Leader is quite rusty. He also likes an old Avalon Hill board game based on the battle of Waterloo. It is called Waterloo. He is also fond of a game called “UBI.” He believes the Minister of Agriculutre owns a copy. If so, he should play it next time we are together.
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? National Review. Your Maximum Leader has subscribed to it since he was 15 years old.
6. FAVORITE SMELL? Napalm in the morning.
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Green.
8. LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? Orange
9. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE PICKS UP? Answering machine?
10. MOST IMPORTANT MATERIAL THING IN MY LIFE? The Ubercomputer or the Villainmobile.
11. FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? Vanilla.
12. DO YOU BREAK THE SPEED LIMIT DAILY? Heh. Ask the Minister of Agriculture.
13. DO YOU HAVE A STUFFED ANIMAL IN YOUR ROOM SOMEWHERE? No. Your Maximum Leader requires that the Villainettes store their stuffed animals in their proper place. Mrs. Villain used to keep Teddy Bears in her room. But after we were wed, the bears were banished to another room. Your Maximum Leader does own a stuffed sloth, but it is kept in the Villain, Jr.’s room.
14. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Cool.
15. FAVORITE DRINK? Scotch. Scotchy-scotch… Mmm…
16. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? June.
17. FAVORITE VEGETABLES? The ones that don’t need life support. Oh! You mean the eating kind! In that case: Asparagus, broccoli, potatoes. Your Maximum Leader likes most vegetables in fact. Though he does despise Lima Beans. They are vulgar.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Humm… If he were not your Maximum Leader, he would want to be Anna’s love-slave.
19. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Brown.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? Yes.
21. TOP THREE FAVORITE MOVIES (IN ORDER)? Can’t put them in order. But they are The Lion in Winter, Lawrence of Arabia, and Bridge on the River Kwai.
22. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? If you mean does your Maximum Leader use the familiar “Touch Typing” method. By which he positions his fingers on the “Home Keys” (asdf & jkl;). Yes. He does.
23. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? Nothing. Your Maximum Leader keeps the toe eating monsters in the dungeon.
24. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 15.
25. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH ON TV & IN PERSON? On TV - Football. In person -Baseball.
26. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? Villainette #1 growing up and dating.
27. FAVORITE CD OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? Hard to tell. Of all time… Couldn’t pick one. Right now your Maximum Leader has been listening to a Tom Jones CD quite a bit.
28. FAVORITE TV SHOW OF ALL TIME & RIGHT NOW? The Simpsons.
29. HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS? Hamburgers.
30. THE COOLEST PLACES YOU’VE EVER BEEN? Aiyee! Hard to pick. The Grand Canyon probably.
31. WHAT WALLPAPER AND/OR SCREENSAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? Wallpaper is a photo of Mrs. Villain, the Villainettes, and Villain, Jr.
32. DOES MCDONALD’S SKIMP ON YOUR FRIES & DO YOU CARE? They do not. Nor does your Maximum Leader care.
33. FAVORITE CHAIN RESTAURANT(s)? Don’t really go to many chain restaurants. (Except when the Villainettes want McDonalds.) Most of the time your Maximum Leader patronizes small/individual establishments.
34. IF YOU HAVE A BOY (OR HAVE ANOTHER BOY) WHAT WOULD YOU NAME HIM? Humm… Don’t know. Mrs. Villain and your Maximum Leader come to blows over naming the Villainous progeny. But boys names of which your Maximum Leader are fond include: Angus, Achilles, Richard, Thomas, Robert, Alexander, and Elvis.
35. IF YOU COULD LEARN TO PLAY ONE INSTRUMENT OVERNIGHT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano.

So there are 35 questions answered by your Maximum Leader. Nothing so intelligent as his interview with the Poet Laureate; but you minions might like it.

And in one more flight of silly… Here is something fun courtesy of Dr. Shackleford and J.J. Chandler.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was inspired to change the poll question today after reading the Poet Laureate’s site.

But as for the first poll…. You all voted wisely. At least some of you did. Jennifer Love Hewitt was voted the fairest of them all with 43% of the vote. Halle Berry was second with 30% of the vote. Jaime Pressly and Kate Moss were tied with 13% each. Heather Graham and Ann Coulter received no votes.

Your Maximum Leader is happy with the results. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! As a gift to all the minions who voted for “Love” here is a little gift.

Since Ms. Hewitt won the vote fairly (and without the intervention of the Supreme Court of the United States) this should stop the Minister of Agriculture from pratteling on about Jaime Pressly this and Jaime Pressly that…

Being pleased with the outcome of the voting, your Maximum Leader has determined that it is safe (for now) to continue with meaningless plebicites.

Moving on to the second poll…

It seems that the Big Ho is feverish and thinking that he may puke. He asked rhetorically if he would puke tonight. So! That becomes the new poll question. We’ll compare your thoughts to the actual happenings later.

Voting in the same place. Near the bottom of the left side nav bar.

Carry on.