A reader who shall remain anonymous reminds me that not all Bones members are crypto-homosexuals. Some are not as interested in other men as they are in animals.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader spied two articles on the news wires that he felt he’d pithily opine upon.

The first one is this: New York Governor Unveils Agenda to Revive Upstate. From a quick reading of the piece it seems as though newly inaugurated New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, is hoping to encourage development in upstate New York by promising more money to and tax relief for upstate New Yorkers.

Now, allow your Maximum Leader to go on the record and say that he doesn’t like Eliot Spitzer. Something about the man, and everything your Maximum Leader knows about the man, just rubs the wrong way. This piece seems to confirm (reconfirm?) that dislike of Spitzer.

Doesn’t it seem ironic to you all that Governor Spitzer is hoping to get businesses to return to upstate New York by pouring money into various public programs and offering “tax relief.” Funny. He doesn’t seem to have equated his (and his predecessors) actions as Attorney General with why businesses left New York in the first place. Sure a little tax relief is going to help some. More money will help too. But where is this money coming from? People downstate paying more? One supposes that is the source. Of course, with crusading Attorney Generals (in the Eliot Spitzer mode) going after businesses for all manner of preceived illegal behavior, one wonders if tax relief is enough to bring back employers who now rightfully fear doing business in the state.

Also… If you clicked through and read the linked piece, does it seem like Spitzer is getting all the glory? Woo! Eliot Spitzer is going to revitalize upstate New York! Only in passing is it mentioned that Spitzer’s plan is very similar to an earlier plan proposed by New York Republicans. Your Maximum Leader should be glad of the mention at all… Otherwise he might have been deluded into thinking it was all Spitzer’s idea.

The other piece was the cleverly titled: Guiliani campaign strategy is out. This is a clever title because of the pun. The campaign strategy is “out” - as in no longer secret. But it is also “out” - as in “out the window” because everyone who cares now has access to it.

Of course, there doesn’t appear to be much interesting in the document. Except that Guiliani’s people were trying to pry away some big donors who are already supporting McCain. All the other stuff is already out there. Guiliani’s three marriages. His support of gun control and abortion. It is all there. Don’t think that the McCain people ween’t going to be reminding Republican voters about all that stuff.

All in all, your Maximum Leader prefers McCain to Guiliani. He is unsure of what he thinks of Mitt Romney vs McCain/Guiliani. He’ll have to study the Romney record more. As it stands, your Maximum Leader is uncommitted to any candidate of any persuasion now. The only tough hypothetical for him at this point is a McCain vs. Lieberman. But we all know that isn’t going to happen.

On the Democratic side, it will be interesting to see how this all pans out. Your Maximum Leader is ambivilent towards Senator Barack Obama or Governor Richardson of New Mexico. He is disinterested in Governor Vilsack of Iowa. He dislikes Senators Bayh and Feingold. He thinks that Representative Kucinich is laughable. Your Maximum Leader is filed with bile by Senator Clinton. And finally your Maximum Leader would like to see a great chasm open in the earth and swallow up Former Senator Edwards.

Yes loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader dislikes John Edwards more than he dislikes Hilary Clinton. Hard to believe, but true. Clinton has few virtues in your Maximum Leader’s eyes, but one of them is that she doesn’t appear to be a faux-populist. The whole faux-populist thing makes your Maximum Leader want… Well it makes your Maximum Leader wish that a great dark hole would open in the earth and John Edwards would fall into it.

Okay… Your Maximum Leader used the same image twice… The other images in your Maximum Leader’s mind are not suitable for public consumption.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader riddles you this: Suppose you are a native northeasterner who has retired to South Florida, you scrimp and save and buy a trailer on the shore to live our your days in heaven’s waiting room. Then one day a developer comes and offers you (cue Dr. Evil voice) One Million Dollars to sell your trailer on the shore. What do you do?

Well, if you were a resident of of the Briny Breezes trailer park outside Miami this question would be less than a hypothetical. It would be the decision you would have to make.

Frankly, if it were your Maximum Leader he would be inclined to take the cash. As the article goes on to state, the developers goal of building exclusive mansions and luxury hotels on the plot is not a foregone conclusion. There are many zoning and governmental hurdles to building on the land. Of course, if your Maxmium Leader’s reading of just about every Carl Hiaasen novel gives him any blueprint by which to make a prediction; don’t rule out the developers. (NB: The best Hiaasen novel? Tourist Season.)

So, loyal minions, which would it be? Cash or trailer with a view?

Don’t disappoint your Maximum Leader with your answer.

Carry on.

Who’s your hunny bunny?

Merry Christmas and happy new year to all.

Your humble Smallholder doesn’t get to the movies much.

Kids.

You know how it is.

But Mrs. Smallholder and I have managed to catch two over the holidays - The Good Shepherd and Casino Royale.

I have to tell you, some of the action sequences in Casino Royale were just awesome. Woo and hoo. Go spend eight bucks for the action alone. The plot? Not so good. Stupid, actually. Whatever happened to good action flicks that actually have a plot that makes sense? Perhaps one day historians will look back on this and label it the Swordfish era.

The Good Shepherd had some good parts as well, but once again, elements of the plot were lacking. What I found most intriguing was the portrayal of Skull and Bones, a secret society at Yale University. The Good Shepherd, ostensibly a movie about the founding of the CIA, takes on an umistakable homoeroticism when the Bonesmen are on the stage. Who knew that an organization that counts Presidents among its ranks could be so thoroughly, thoroughly queer.

Dang, it almost makes me wish I knew someone who had been in the organization so that I could give him crap.

Heh.