Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy hat and wishes hearty congratulations to Phin and Mrs. Phin on the arrival of their wee little boy Phinlet! What great news! Congratulations. Swim on over to Phin’s blog and wish him the best.

NB to Phin: This means no pudding wrestling in the house for quite a while now…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on I Don’t Like You In That Way that Jennifer Love Hewitt was looking particularly dreamy at the Oscars on Sunday night.

He also reads that the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt is dating some Scottish guy named Ross McCall.

Did your Maximum Leader mention that not only is he of Scottish extraction but he drinks plenty of Scotch and can pull off a mean Scottish accent?

Harumph.

Carry on.
(more…)

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to congratulate Congressman Tom Delay for winning his primary with 62 percent of the vote. Now Congressman Delay’s Maximum Leader wouldn’t quite go so far as to call this a rebuke of the “politics of personal destruction” (NB: Thanks Jim Wright for coining such a great phrase), but is shows that Delay is still popular in his district among Republican voters. Many of those voters probably feel (as does your Maximum Leader) that the charges against Delay and prosecution of those charges are politically motivated. But whatever the prosecutors motivation for charging Delay doesn’t mean that the law hasn’t been broken. That will all be worked out in due time.

And winning the primary isn’t such a big prize. Afterall, Delay will have a big fight to win to be reelected in November.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, for the most part, ignores Cindy Sheehan and all reporting of Cindy Sheehan. But for some reason Jeff’s latest on Mother Peace (or however she is styling herself nowadays - Hugo Chavez’s American Ho, Fidel’s Kinky American Beeyatch, or whatever…) just struck your Maximum Leader as really really funny.

Go, see what Jeff recommends.

As your Maximum Leader was reading over the post he thought to himself, “You know, Jeff could become a fashion consultant for some high profile California criminal defense attorney. You know, like Gloria Allred or something…” Gloria did a good job on Amber Frey from that whole Scott Pterson thingie. (Is Scott Peterson dead yet? Is he suffering in prison as some Crip’s beeyatch or something? He ought to be…)

Anyhoo… Your Maximum Leader should also thank Jeff for the links in that post. He had no idea what Chenille was. Indeed, he’s still not sure that he does, but the picture helped.

You know your Maximum Leader still has a print out of the tutorial that the lovely Annika gave him about shoes. With three women in the Villainschloss it comes in handy when they start to get dressed up…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is saddened by the death of Kirby Puckett. As much as your Maximum Leader would have liked for Puckett to disappear from the face of the earth back in 1991 as he single-handedly turned the tide of the World Series against the Atlanta Braves and pretty much won the pennant for the Minnesota Twins, Kirby Puckett was too young. (Just like Dana Reeve in the last entry.)

Kirby Puckett always seemed like a good and decent man. In many ways the type of guy you want to see playing baseball. He always looked like he was having fun. He always seemed to be good with the fans. And he was inspirational through his on and off-field actions with his fellow players. He deserved his Hall of Fame election and baseball was made better by his presence in the game.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads on the news wires that Dana Reeves, the widow of actor-turned-activist-turned-quadreplegic Christopher Reeves, has died. She was 44. According to the article, Mrs. Reeves was a non-smoker who developed lung cancer. The cancer was the cause of her death. It is sad that such a young woman should die of cancer. But if your Maximum Leader may get catty for a moment… What is worse is that of all the file photos the AP could have run they choose the one where she is shown with her nipples poking through her dress on a cold evening. That strikes your Maximum Leader as somehow disrepectful. Perhaps he is prudish in that way. (Because God knows he’s not prudish in so many other ways…)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader should have stayed up and watched the Oscars last night. Because he surely didn’t get any sleep. He tossed and turned all night. Now he has a headache and is cranky. (If he were a true neoconservative - which he really isn’t - then he would be nudging in on someone else’s territory.

Anyhoo.

Your Maximum Leader must ask you all something. Her acting talent notwithstanding (because she is a DAMNED fine actress), is your Maximum Leader the only man in America that doesn’t find Hillary Swank attractive in the least? Your Maximum Leader likes the dress, but Hillary just doesn’t do it for me.

And while he’s asking questions… Who is this Michelle Williams? Never heard of her. Can Jessica Alba look more hot?

Why is your Maximum Leader going on about the Oscars? Cause he can’t think of another dang thing to write about. He just isn’t motivated for hard-hitting political commentary today. Not sure what the problem is.

Cary on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, it turns out, is watching the Oscars. Well, was watching them until about a few minutes ago when he got up to turn off the computer and decided to blog one Oscar thought.

Rachel Weisz is a little hottie…

Congrats to her.

And if you read the comments to the last post it looks like loyal minion, the lovely Mo, is on the money on her bets.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wonders how many of his minions will be watching the Oscars this weekend?

Probably the Minister of Propaganda - it’s work for him.

Mrs. Smallholder might.

Your Maximum Leader will probably not. No reason why. Well that isn’t completely true. He hasn’t seen any of the films nominated for anything… So there is a detachment to say the least…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader asks you all a (mostly rhetorical) question.

How long does it take to go download 100 free songs on iTunes?

The backstory… Your Maximum Leader got a mailing from American Express saying that he could exchange Membership Reward points for free songs on iTunes. So. He ordered up 100 free songs. He got the certificate in the mail Thursday night. He activated the song credits last night.

So, like the old owl in the Tootsie Pop commericals, how long did it take him to burn through 100 free songs?

Approximately 2 hours…

He got some great tunes though. Really great tunes.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader and the Minister of Propaganda must be connected by some weird telepathic bond. You see, your Maximum Leader was reading over America’s Finest News Source and noting the truth in this piece: Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness. At the same time and thousands of miles away, the Minister of Propaganda was reading the same article and decided to forward it to your Maximum Leader (and the other ministers here at Naked Villainy).

To comment on the piece… If it weren’t so true your Maximum Leader would have even found it more amusing. When your Maximum Leader read this he nearly fell out of his comfy chair:

According to Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), Democrats are not willing to sacrifice their core values - indecision, incoherence, and disorganization -for the sake of short-term electoral gain.

Damn that is good stuff.

Go and read. You’ll like it.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has had a rough day. He can’t explain why, but it was a bear of a day. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has looked forward to the time (now by the way) that he can relax in the Villainschloss with his computer, his iPod, and peace.

So… Your Maximum Leader has settled down and is relaxing and is catching up on some reading. NB to Sadie concerning your comment - No, your Maximum Leader was not wearing a Maximum Leader shirt. But if you were watching the Pacers v. Wizards game last night you would have seen your Maximum Leader walking along the side of the court about 2 minutes into the 3 quarter. At one point he was about a foot from Antwan Jaimison before said Mr. Jaimison inbounded the ball. Your Maximum Leader was the tall man with glasses, wearing the Tommy Hillfiger sweatshirt, jeans, and carring a fresh beer. (He was just leaving the VIP suite and returning to his seat…)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader decided to start reading his favourite blogs. You know, catch up on everything he missed today…

As is your Maximum Leader’s habit, he begins his blog reading at the top of his blogroll in the Loyal Minions category. He made it down 6 positions.

Now after reading Skippy’s lastest he sees no reason to continue reading further. Your Maximum Leader will finish this post and likely re-read Skippy’s latest (because it is so damn good it deserves a second reading) and then turn off the computer and go read a book. Nothing he could possibly read tonight on the whole friggin internet will be a good as Skippy’s latest. So he will call it quits.

NB to Brian: Your Maximum Leader was going to write more about summits and President Bush. But it will have to wait until the morrow.

G’night minions. Catch you later.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader knows a thing or two about comfort. Indeed, he has been known to indulge himself in a little comfortable soaking in a hot tub once and a while.

Perhaps that will change.

A recent study says that hot tubs or whirlpool baths are just rife with gagillions of deadly bacteria. And you know nothing says comfort quite like aerosol transmission of fecal derived bacteria… Let that thought sink in for a second. Those warm vapors rising out of the bubbly surface of your hot tub and being breathed deep into your lungs are likely laced with some schmoe’s shit. (Hey! You might be that schmoe yourself…) Beauty, eh?

It is stuff like this that makes your Maximum Leader thankful for Clorox.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s religious “spidey” sense seems to be tingling today. His Catholic upbringing seems to remind him that today might be some sort of Holy Day of Obligation…

Is it the Feast of our Lady of Perpetual Finger Pricking again? No? Is it Saint Irinius of Leichenstein’s Day? No? Humm… No matter…

Your Maximum Leader will pay for his sins by sitting through a Pacers v. Wizards game tonight. He’ll be courtside. You might see him on the Tee Vee - if you are watching…

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader apologizes to you if you’ve tried to comment on the blog over the past 11 or so hours. There is some hiccup going on at Superb (your Maximum Leader’s web host) that is causing some SQL connectivitiy problems. The good techs at Superb inform your Maximum Leader that these problems are under control and soon resolved - if not already resolved.
The Wee Villain is not feeling well today. Thus your Maximum Leader is playing Mr. Mom. This occurence must have been fated to be. Because you see the Wee Villain and your Maximum Leader spent the morning watching a movie. But not just any film… We watched a film with BOTH the dreamy Jennifer Love Hewitt AND Jaime Pressly. Insipid film actually. But the eye candy made it all worth while. Can you name that film? No prize for you if you do. Just bragging rights… For what that is worth.

Your Maximum Leader was contacted out of the blue by an old college friend. She says that she blogged for a while, but gave it up. She is being very coy about her old blog site… Your Maximum Leader will have to push harder for info… Your Maximum Leader and his friend chatted via Yahoo Messenger for a while last night. It was fun.

Do you want to know what the definition of “love” is minionly readers? It is copying “Yanni’s” album “Live from the Acropolis” onto your computer so that you can load it into your wife’s iPod Shuffle. Your Maximum Leader’s fingers still are numb from having to handle that offense to one’s ears…

Your Maximum Leader sees on the news that the President made a brief stop in Afghanistan today. Indeed by the time you read this Mr Bush is likely already in India for a brief visit. What happened to the week-long summits of yesteryear? One wonders if a little more effort would yeild more benefits?

Your Maximum Leader also sees that Anna Nicole Smith’s case was heard by the Supreme Court yesterday. That would be an oral argument that your Maximum Leader would like to hear. Frankly your Maximum Leader hasn’t followed the case. But now reading over the news wires it would seem that there are lots of twists, turns, and lies all involved. Document tampering. Shredding. Lies. Deception. Private investigators. Strippers. Billions in oil money. One hopes that Anna Nicole hasn’t sold the movie rights. This story could, in the right hands, be more compelling than “The People Vs. Larry Flynt.”

Your Maximum Leader is, in case you are interested, listening to two Cowboy Junkies albums on his iPod now. They are “21st Century Blues” and “In the time before Llamas.” They are both quite good.

And in case you were wondering… As best your Maximum Leader can tell, anything prior to November 2003 is the time before Llamas.

Carry on.