I have a rooster that tries to spur me when I collect eggs.

“Ah can’t abide a floggin’ rooster.”

Perhaps the Maximum Leader’s new cookbooks have a recipe for coq au vin.

The Maximum Leader is a busy guy, so I thought I’d fill out a second meme for him (found at Bill’s Comments).

Five Weird Things About the Maximum Leader:

1) He was the first alternate for the U.S. curling Olympic team.

2) His obsession with dwarves is because they are his diametric opposites: Small in stature, large in genitalia.

3) His putative obsession with Jennifer Love Hewitt is just a beard.

4) His decision to “take” the Red Dawn Quiz was passive aggressive retaliation against Smallholder’s stubborn heterosexuality.

5) He just might be willing to switch teams for Agent Bedhead.

I’m not generally into the meme thing, but since our good friend Bill has tagged your humble Smallholder, I will oblige, if only to bring a smile to his face.

Meme for 2005

FOUR JOBS YOU’VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Butcher’s apprentice
2. Waiter
3. Grounds maintenance man
4. Camp counselor
5. Bureaucratic drone at SCOTUS
6. Ordinance officer, U.S. army
7. Pseudo-semi-professional football player (I should blog about this sometime)
8. Colonial Williamsburg archvist apprentice
9. History Teacher
10. Organic Farmer
Oops, that’s more than 4.

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Last of the Mohicans
2. Aliens
3. Big Trouble in Little China
4. Mad Dog and Glory

FOUR BOOKS YOU COULD READ AGAIN & AGAIN
1. Gene Logsdon’s Contrary Farmer
2. Shakespeare’s Henry V
3. Stephen King’s The Stand
4. M.G. Kairn’s Five Acres and Independence

FOUR CITIES/PLACES YOU’VE LIVED IN
Going backwards chronologically
1. Batesville, Virginia
2. Laurel, Maryland
3. Williamsburg, Virginia
4. Aberdeen, Maryland

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Lost
2. West Wing
3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. The Simpsons

FOUR PLACES YOU’VE BEEN ON VACATION
1. Cayman Islands
2. San rancsico
3. Americus, Georgia
4. Auburn, New York

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. Bill’s Comments
2. Memento Moron
3. Enjoy Every Sandwich
4. Agent Bedhead

Plus a few others.

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Sushi
2. Peanut butter sandwiches dunked in tomato soup
3. Mrs. Smallholder’s Mexican Casserole
4. Mutter Smallholder’s chipped beef

FOUR PLACES YOU’D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. home
2. San Francisco
3. London
4. Visiting the Foreign Minister in Germany

I won’t tag anybody. Do the meme if the spirit moves.

Alexander Hamiltontook the interstate commerce clause and began stretching it in order to get his national bank.

His political heirs have stretched the interstate commerce clause so far to include school zones banning drugs and guns (since drugs and guns might hurt the education of kids who might one day grow up and not be optimal workers for businesses engaged in interstate trade), to ban farmers from growing wheat to feed their own animals, and to prohibit Ms. Rausch from smoking a medically prescribed doobie grown in her own back yard.

The commerce clause is clearly out of control.

But now we have a new elastic clause: the President’s warmaking power.

If, as Republican apologists would have us believe, FISA is unconstitutional because it limits the President’s ability to wage war, could that argument not be expanded past the original intent?

The free press, as many Republicans would have us believe, are, if not in direct cahoots with Osama, certainly helping out his cause. Bush has said that the New York Times has compromised our security. Could Bush shut down the Grey Lady in order to prosecute his war more effectively?

Heck, defeatist alarmists in this country are sapping our will to fight. Under the war powers doctrine, could Bush order the assassination of Naked Villainy’s own Minister of Propaganda?

What if Bush decided that increasing demand for fuel compromises our security by making us dependent on oil imports? Could he ban SUVs by administrative fiat?

For our Republicans out there, I would urge you not to embrace the “War Powers Trump All” Doctrine. You might be giving that power to President Hillary.

Just sayin’.

The ever-thoughtful and eruidite Volokh Conspirtators have a running thread of FISA commentary.

Here is the most recent article. You can scroll down to the bottom of the post for links to the rest of the series.

The conculsion, as I read it, is that FISA is not overriden by AUMF and that any Article II argument would lose at SCOTUS 8-1, with only Thomas supporting the President. Of course, they also point out the unliklihood of this making it to the Supreme Court because no one with standing to sue is likely to know that they have standing.

Those with whom we agree with are not always right.

Those with whom we disagree are not always wrong.

This truism strikes me every time I float through our conservative little corner of the blogosphere. Many of our conservative friends seem willing, to steal MyPetjawa’s phrase, to drink the kool-aid.

It strikes me that conservatives’ traditional respect for the rule of law has become attenuated.

Examples:

Never mind the established law that a husband can make medical decisions for an incapacitated spouse. If it gets the right-to-lifers stirred up, lets pull a little demagoguery and pass a clearly unconstitutional bill of attainder!

Never mind that all the lawyers at the DOJ say that the Texas redistricting violates the Voting Rights Act! It gives us a congressional majority, and our boy has appointed the Texas judges.

Never mind that toture is against the law. We’ll just redefine torture. (Specifically excluded from this argument are the Guantanamo detainees. Regardless of what the Eurowimps and our own MoP say, the detainees are explicitly excluded from Geneva Convention protections. I’m cocerned here with meeting the letter of the law. Detaining illegal combatants stops well short of what we are permitted to do - the Geneva Convention provides for illegal combatants to be executed on the battlefield - and is legal. Torture of those detainees is illegal. You can debate the efficacy or morality of detention and torture, but the legal lines are clear.)

Never mind that Abramoff was buying influence with a large segment of our congressional delegation. Lobbying regulations are obscure, and heck, it won’t “have any traction outsdie of the beltway.” Who cares if some of our guys are corrupt? As Truman said, “he may be an S.O.B, but he’s OUR S.O.B.”

Never mind that key political operative linked the name of a CIA operative (covert or not) in order to punish a political enemy. We can argue that, technically, no law was broken, and hope we only have to throw Scooter to the lions.

Never mind that even the White House tacitly acknowledges that some of their wiretaps broke FISA, arguing that FISA was overruled by AUMF or is unconstitutional because it contravenes the Article II warmaking powers. Let’s argue technical points that will insomnolate (is that a word? It should be.) the public.

One starts to wonder. Is there anything that this administration could do to make bloggers angry?

Some mainstream conservative writers like George Will and Novak seem to have realized that Bush isn’t conservative at all. But the blogosphere (other than our boy Skippy and the cautiously critical Volokh Conspiracy) seems willing to keep drinking the kool-aid.

Note here that I’m not making a pro-Democrat argument. I’m not attacking basic conservative principals, many of which I share. But good lord! Isn’t anyone else becoming alarmed by the apparently cavalier attitude the administration takes toward the law?

The X-Prize was an awesome way to encourage private companies’ exploration of techonoligies for low-cost space exploration.

Environmentalists like to promote solar power, but solar power’s expense, unreliability, and low output have made it a loser in the marketplace.

If ever elected to the Senate, I will introduce the Smallholder Solar Prize Bill to my colleagues. It will simply establish a billion dollar prize for the first company to develop a reliable cheap, powerful solar technology. The standard would be something like producing an average of x watts per day over a year of variable weather at a cost of lower than $y per watt.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, as you may know, gave his Poet Laurete a cookbook for Christmas. The Big Hominid has photoblogged his experience with egg-less chocolate mousse. (Really. Clicky here and here and here.) Before gifting Nigella’s book your Maximum Leader read through it. Nigella Lawson has always been one of your Maximum Leader’s favourites. Indeed a link to her site has existed on this page for years… If you look over on the right side nav bar and see the link entitled “Domestic Goddess” you will get Nigella’s site. It’s the link right under Eddie Izzard and right above the NRA.)

Anyhoo…

Your Maximum Leader wasn’t just gifting cookbooks. He recieved two of them for Christmas. Your Maximum Leader can’t recall exactly where he heard/read this, but it has stuck with him. Someone (possibly Arthur Lubow, Ruth Riechl, Jacques Pepin, or Phyllis Richmond) once said that if you really wanted to KNOW the whole western cooking tradition you only needed three cookbooks. The three are: The Joy of Cooking, Larousse Gastrnomique, and Il Cucchiaio d’Argento (The Silver Spoon).

Now your Maximum Leader has owned he Joy of Cooking for as long as he can remember. Indeed he has an original edition (which he stole from his sainted mother) and the updated version. The Joy of Cooking has always been an essential reference in the Villainschloss kitchen. He highly commends them to you.

He received for Christmas Larousse Gastronomique and The Silver Spoon. In the few days since Christmas they have both received a workout.

The Silver Spoon has been the best selling cookbook in Italy for the past 50 years. It is widely considered THE authoritative reference for recipies amongst arguing grandmothers across Italy. Until a few months ago, it was only available in Italian. Now Phaidon Press has released the mammoth tome in English. It is fabulous. Your Maximum Leader has already sampled at least 8 items from book. His two favourites so far are the Cream of Asparagus soup and the Pork Chops in Blueberry sauce. Your Maximum Leader is seriously considering buying a few copies and giving them to friends throughout the year. (Indeed, he has already gifted The Silver Spoon to his Brother & Sister-in-law and his Mother-in-law.)

Larousse Gastronomique is not a cookbook so much as it is an encylcopaedia of cooking with recipies thrown in. In a perusal of Larousse your Maximum Leader has found a recipe that he will do before he dies… He will share it with you here for your reading (if not dining pleasure)…

Stuffed Turkey Grand-Duc

Slit open a turkey along its back and stuff the bird with the following mixture: 18oz chicken rubbed through a fine sieve, 17.2 oz of double heavy cream, and 9 oz of foie gras (prepare the foie gras by poaching it in port wine and rubbing it through a fine sieve). Season stuffing to taste. Add 12 truffles (peeled and cooked for 10 mins in brandy). Add 24 chicken hearts (prepared by removing blood vessels, soaked in water, steeped in white Malaga wine, drained, dried, then stuffed with a puree of York ham, then poached for 15 mins in truffle essence).

After stuffing the turkey, carefully reshape it. Cover the bird in slices of raw ham or bacon. Enclose the stuffed, wrapped turkey in pastry taking care to keep the shape of the bird. Bake at 250 degrees for 2.5 hours. During cooking cover bird with wax paper coated with flour to assure that the pastry browns evenly and not too soon.

Serve directly from oven with a demi-glace flavoured wtih truffle essence.

Say what you will… THAT, loyal minions, is real eatin’.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader commends to you all Jan Withold Baran’s commentary about lobbying (and lobbyists) in today’s Washington Post.

That is all.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to re-run his short birthday tribute to The King of Rock and Roll… (And even though this is a re-run it is still true that we baked a cake in honour of the King.)

Happy 71st Birthday to The King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Aron Presley.

As with every January 8th, celebrations were rampant at the Villainschloss today. A festive cake was baked and decorated in honour of “The King” and it was in part consumed. The Villainettes were particularly happy to draw Elvis on the cake along with various symbols which were meant to resemble music notes.

Your Maximum Leader played Elvis music most of the day (with a brief exception of when he was in the Villainmobile and he listened to Elvis and Johnny Cash).

Indeed, if any minion would like a CD of your Maximum Leader’s favourite Elvis tunes; they have only to send an e-mail.

For those minions who would like to bolster their own personal CD collection of Elvis he will recommend the following:

1) For those of you who just want the most popular Elvis tunes you should pick up either Elvis #1 or (an old favourite of your Maximum Leader’s) Elvis’ Top Ten Hits. The quality of the recordings on “Elvis #1″ is better by far; but the “Top Ten Hits” has all the essential Elvis songs.
2) For those of you who would like to get a really fine example of The King performing, your Maximum Leader will commend to them “Memories: The 68 Comeback Special.” Of all of the Elvis recordings your Maximum Leader posesses, this two CD set is probably his all time favourite. It has a little bit of everything an Elvis affectionado could possibly want. Live performance. Elvis’ bante with his band. And some songs sung with Elvis at his peak voice. One of the alternate versions of “If I Can Dream” would be your Maximum Leader’s current pick for his single favourite Elvis song.
3) And for those of you who really want to go whole hog on The King, allow your Maximum Leader to recommend “Platinum: A life in music.” Which is a four CD box set (with liner notes) of remastered music. It is a complete overview of Elvis’ career. It is worth every penny of the $60 asking price.

UPDATE from 2005 - If anyone would like to shower their Maximum Leader with presents this would be nice…

Well loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hopes you kept Elvis in your hearts a little bit today. Because, so long as there is a little Elvis in you, there is hope for the world.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader’s wa is disturbed. Greatly disturbed.

His Poet Laureate has gone completely ’round the bend. Need proof? Clicky here.

Your Maximum Leader rests his case.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been busy reading all of the great links that many of you have forwarded him concerning the FISA wiretap story. Please know that your Maximum Leader is reviewing and thinking about all of your thoughtful comments. He hopes to write something further on that subject later.

Until then…

Your Maximum Leader has, from time to time, done things that may not please The Almighty. He received a pretty normal middle-class church-going Catholic religious education. He further studied subjects sacred and profane all through his life. So he has a pretty good idea of the strictures that The Almighty has set down over time - at least the strictures according to the Judeo-Christian tradition. Knowing what your Maximum Leader does; he is aware that some activities and decisions he’s taken would not please The Almighty.

All that said one might expect that if The Almighty was greatly displeased with your Maximum Leader; he (your Maximum Leader that is) would be struck by a bolt from the blue and vaporized. Barring the use of a bolt from the blue, your Maximum Leader has also figured that being turned into a pillar of salt or having brimstone rain down from the heavens upon him are other tried and true methods The Almighty might employ on those in need of smiting. But we all know that the Lord smites in mysterious ways.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that at least 15 are dead (and possibly as many as 40 dead) in a hotel collaspe in Mecca. The hotel was full of pilgrims gathered in the Muslim holy city in anticipation of the beginning of the Haj.

Hardly a year goes by when there isn’t some disaster occuring in Mecca around the time of the Haj. One would think that the Saudi government would do its best to inspect buildings and insure civil order during this time. Isn’t the Saudi Royal Family personally responsible for the safety and security of pilgrims to Mecca? Hummm….

If your Maximum Leader were Muslim (which he is not) and going to Mecca (which he doesn’t ever plan on doing) he would be wary about his lodgings. He might even opt for a tent in the desert. At least that wouldn’t collapse on him.

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wishes his loyal (and dead sexy) minion Sadie all the best in her new digs. She is now reincarnated as Agent Bedhead.

Your Maximum Leader was wanting (rather desperately) to go and visit the new site before the big kick off. But he resisted. It seemed wrong to spoil the surprise…

Go. Now. Read.

(And update those bookmarks!)

Carry on.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sends his warm congratulations to the Texas Longhorns and their fans/adherents on winning the college football national championship. Your Maximum Leader sat down in the Villainschloss to watch the game - but fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the second quarter. This was due, in large part, to his being up until 1:00am the night before watching the Penn State/FSU game. Your Maximum Leader awoke at 2:45am and had to catch highlights on ESPN. This is one of those times your Maximum Leader wishes he had Tivo.

Anyhoo…

Congrats Longhorns! You’ve finally won the big one.

Carry on.