Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is being educated by the Crack Young Staff this morning. While your Maximum Leader always thought that the Pentavirate was actually running the world, it seems as though it is actually Irving Kristol.
Here is something to think about though… If Irving Kristol rules the world, what exactly is Gertrude Himmelfarb’s role in world domination?
Just askin’
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is a murdering bastard. Indeed, it was only last night that he put the blood of many on his hands. He razed the homes of three extended families; and insured that the family members died a fiery death. Indeed, as they tried to escape your Maximum Leader kicked them back into the inferno with his boot-clad foot. As the charred bodies smouldered, the Villainettes were allowed close to look at the carnage.
Your Maximum Leader is speaking about destroying three hovels of Eastern Tent Caterpillars that chanced to inhabit some trees on the grounds of the Villainschloss. He trimmed the affected branches of the two trees and moved the tents to a large concrete pad. He got some kindling and some charcoal lighting fluid. Then it was flame on!
Your Maximum Leader has seen entire groves of trees defoliated by tent caterpillars. Most of the time the trees recover from the attack after a year or so. But sometimes the infestation is so severe that they do not. Your Maximum Leader lives in a wooded area, so it is hard to keep the pests under control. But rest assured there are no tent caterpillars living on the grounds of the Villainschloss.
And if any try to move in they will meet with the same fiery end.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, two posts ago, wrote that he didn’t think the Republicans should invest heavily in a broad agenda to “get them through” the 2006 elections; but rather that they should rely on the power of incumbency to regain their majorities.
Brian was a little disappointed in this opinion and commented that:
“…few things angered my father more than watching a football team for whom he was rooting go into a Prevent Defense (or, as he called it, the “Prevent a Win Defense). He hated it when a team in ANY sport stopped trying to outscore its opponent and relied instead on shutting down its opponents offense. He believed you should play to win, not play to avoid a loss.”
Well, your Maximum Leader actually agrees in two senses with Brian’s late father. The first sense is that, in fact, the Prevent Defense - in most circumstances - is a horrible strategy in football. Brian’s father, and other commentators like John Madden and your Maximum Leader, are dead right on the Prevent Defense in football.
In a second sense, your Maximum Leader agrees further with Brian’s point. This is to say that if you don’t stand for anything a party is not compelling enough in and of itself to get people to come out to vote. More on this in a moment.
In a second comment, your Maximum Leader’s erstwhile Minister of Propaganda wrote this:
“Say you get two invitations to the prom and you accept one of them. On the night in question, Maximum Leader, you dress yourself up as pretty as can be to meet your date. Before you get to the gym, however, he stops the car, pulls you into the back seat, anally rapes you, and steals your purse on top of it.The next year rolls around and you, being such a pretty ML, again get two invitations from the same two gentlemen. Now you want to compare agendas? Silly, silly, silly girl.”
Not the analogy your Maximum Leader would have used, but it is terribly illustrative isn’t it…
In a very oblique way the Minister of Propaganda hit on the reason that your Maximum Leader determined that the Republicans should just coast through to November. Their actions as a governing majority have already done enough to disincentify (if that is a word) your Maxmium Leader from supporting them (at least actively). The Republican party hasn’t given your Maximum Leader a reason to support the party. Frankly, the Democrats haven’t either.
In your Maximum Leader’s district he doesn’t have much choice. He will vote for George Allen for Senator. He likes George Allen. And his congressman (Jo Ann Davis, R-VA) is running unopposed. So, your Maximum Leader will vote for Allen and will cast a token vote for Davis. But he doesn’t really have a choice. In a way that is a good thing for him, because he doesn’t have to make a choice. (Well, he’s already made one choice, for Senator, but that is another case.)
If the Democrats could find a decent centrist (or even better Center-Right) person to run against Davis, your Maximum Leader would vote for them. Just as a protest to the Republicans. If the Republicans lost the House as a result… Well… That means more gridlock. And we all know that your Maximum Leader loves his gridlock. So that wouldn’t be all that bad. Hell, it might even force the president to use his veto.
The Republicans shouldn’t try to come up with a grand platform to run on in 2006. Because anything they come up with will beg the question of “what have you done for 6 years anyhow?” It is better not to embarass yourselves and just try to coast on through for another 2 years.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been a particularly lazy blogger. He is sure that the last post he published is now well past its freshness date and the site begs for a new post.
Your Maxmium Leader realizes that if he does not update his (few) loyal readers will go elsewhere.
Of course, abandoning your Maximum Leader’s blog is a great and terrible offence. But this once he’ll let it slide.
Your Maximum Leader took a long weekend with his children over the past few days. It was a nice time. Mrs. Villain has some church retreat to attend, this left your Maximum Leader with all three of his offspring. (And his trusted hound…)
Much villainy (unencumbered by mother’s goodness) was imbued into the villainous offspring this weekend. Villainette #1 learned how to bat her eyelashes and make puppy-dog eyes to manipulate men into giving her what she wants. Villainette #2 learned how to throw an elbow at a boy who is picking on her at recess. And the Wee Villain perfected his ability to make the stinkiest diapers imaginable.
Villainy abounded…
NB to readers: Your Maximum Leader had written three posts this morning and thought they were published. But some hiccup occured with the internet connection at the central station and all was lost. Damnation.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been very pleased to read the blog of (and frankly to be blogrolled by) Mr. Basil Seal. Other noteworthy blogs have made mention of Mr. Seal’s fine work. Now it is time for your Maximum Leader to jump on the bandwagon…
In a post today, Mr. Seal relates a number of quotations from one of your Maximum Leader’s favourite characters, Brigadier-General Sir Harry Paget Flashman (VC, KCB KCIE). If you’ve not read any of General Flashman’s memoirs you’ve really been missing out. Go and read the Flashman excerpts at Man About Mayfair. Then go and buy some of the memoirs for yourself. (NB: There is even a Sir Harry Flashman Society. Who knew?)
But before you leave Mr. Seal’s site, scroll on down and persue his earlier postings. They are worth the time.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that Joshua Bolten’s dictat to White House staffers of “leave now if you think you’re gonna leave” is producing some turn ovr. Scott McClellan is resigning and Karl Rove is giving up some of his responsibility.
All in all this is a good move for the Administration. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (like our own infrequently posting Air Marshal) to figure out that the Bush Administration needs a little stimulation to get going. Contrary to what you might see on “The West Wing,” people get burned out very quickly at the White House. It is hard work that is relentless. The hardest job in the Executive Office of the President has got to be Press Secretary. Your Maximum Leader would last about 5 mins in that job before calling some reporter a whiny-rat-bastard. Then it is likely executions would begin.
Karl Rove, according to the Washington Post, will be giving up some regular policy responsibility and instead focus on the upcoming elections. One wonders if Rove shouldn’t just resign and go to work for the RNC and take some sort of uber-campaign manager role there.
Your Maximum Leader is, frankly, a little conflicted here about some items. His inner conflict boils down to a chicken/egg problem. Should the Republicans focus on winning the upcoming elections and then getting control of a political agenda? Or should they get a narrow focused political agenda and then focus on the elections? In all acutality they must to both simultaneously. But if you had to choose one or the other to do first your Maximum Leader would opt for winning the elections first then getting an agenda.
Some of you might be scratching your head and wondering why your Maximum Leader would say that the Republicans should focus on keeping their majority then worry about an agenda? Well, simply put, the Democrats don’t have an agenda. Further the Democrats don’t seem in a rush to get an agenda. Since the Dems are not pushing any agenda beyond “We’re not Republicans” it doesn’t seem as though the Republicans should try to focus the arguments. Let elections boil down to voters’ feelings about their incumbent. Let the power of incumbency help you out. Then, if you hold on to majorities, you can figure out what to do.
If the Democrats change their mind and start running on issues, well then you have to revise tactics.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just wanted you all to know that he just got something last night he doesn’t get very often…
Get your minds out of the gutter…
It was 12 full hours of sleep. He isn’t sure how it happened. But after dinner he went to lay down and watch a little TV news. He must have shut his eyes around 7pm last night. He did not stir until 7am this morning.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees on the news wires that Alessandra Mussolini is going to be running for Mayor of Rome (or if you are an NBC affiliate you would have to say Roma) next month. It seems as though her Social Alternative Party failed to meet the threshold needed to get a seat in parliament. (Which must be over the 1.2% of the vote they received. Your Maximum Leader will have to do some digging, because he thought the threshold was 1%.)
While it is doubtful that Mussolini will be elected Mayor of Roma (Roma), your Maximum Leader will be pulling for her.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will share with you some random thoughts that popped into his head while listening to his iPod.
1) It is embarassing to admit, but your Maximum Leader likes the Mick Jagger/David Bowie version of “Dancing in the Steets” at least as much as Martha Reeves & the Vandellas version. Furthermore, he finds the Jagger/Bowie version better than most others that he’s heard. In fact, your Maximum Leader (if pushed for a definative answer on the issue) likes the Jagger/Bowie version a little better than any other version.
2) While listening to a general mix of songs, your Maximum Leader heard Led Zeppelin’s “Ramble On.” This caused him to wonder. When “Ramble On” is downloaded (and paid for), or purchased on a CD, or played on the radio the band (or their estates) get royalties. In turn, do the remaining members of Led Zeppelin (or their estates) pay a royalty to the Tolkien Estate? Just wondering…
3) Podcasts are wonderful. Especially video podcasts.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader wonders sometimes how Ted finds some of the stuff he does.
(Or if you like you can read the article that prompted Ted’s comments here.)
Humm… Sex toys one attaches to oneself but that are controlled by someone else over the internet… One supposes that a dial-up connection could cause serious physical harm…
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hopes you’ve been following the saga of the Italian elections. Because if you are anything like your Maximum Leader (and he knows you’re not), you are just captivated by them.
You know your Maximum Leader loves politics. But sometimes American politics gets him angry. So angry he is glad that his physician isn’t around - as your Maximum Leader would be sure that he would immediately prescribe some blood pressure medicine. American politics also fills your Maximum Leader with deep melancholy at times. Melancholy spawned by a sense that we deserve better than we’re getting. (And that is a bipartisan comment by the way.)
But Italian politics - well, that revs your Maximum Leader’s engine. He can watch Italian politics (through the lens of English language paers and web sites) and just enjoy it. Your Maximum Leader thinks that this feeling must be somewhat close to the feeling that Skippy gets from watching American politics… Or not…
Anyho…
Surely you’ve all been watching the Italian elections unfold. It appears as though Romano Prodi and his center-left coalition has won a slim majority in both the Italian Parliament and the Italian Senate.***
Of course, the qualifier ‘appears’ is prominent. Silvo Berlusconi‚Äö?Ñ?Â¥s center-right coalition is claiming election fraud. It seems as though there is vote tampering, vote undercounting, and a question as to which ballots are ’spoiled’ according to a number of sources. (Accusations that are oddly familiar to your Maximum Leader… He just can’t seem to remember where he’s heard that line before… Oh yeah… Here in the US…)
So it looks like the Italian Elections will be determined by the Italian Courts. Especially since Outgoing Italian President Carlo Azeglio Ciampi refuses to name a winner. Ciampi claims that the honor of selecting the next Prime Minister should be left to the courts and the next Italian President. (Your Maximum Leader will now begin the round of cat-calls and chants claiming that Ciampi is a wuss…)
Your Maximum Leader feels pretty confident that Romano Prodi’s coalition will be named the winners and called to form a government. But it might take a few more weeks. And during those few more weeks it will give Prodi’s coalition more time to unravel.
From various news accounts, it appears as though Mr. Prodi plans on making the Italian economy the first order of business when he gets down to work. Alas, the Italian Communists seem to have different ideas on this matter.
Your Maximum Leader has always thought that managing parliamentary coalitions must be one of the hardest jobs in the whole breadth of political life. He can only imagine how hard it would be in Italy. Can you imagine trying to get Social Democrats, Greens, and Communists to agree on labor laws? Heh. The very prospect of a civil discussion on the subject makes your Maximum Leader laugh. He imagines a conference room with lots of yelling, name-calling, and some chin scratching. The phrase “herding cats” comes to mind…
Your Maximum Leader is not personally invested in either side of this election, although he own national self-interest made him hold out hope for a Berlusconi victory, so he can’t say he’s rooting for anyone in particular…
Well that isn’t true. He is rooting for Alessandra Mussolini (currently a Member of the European Parliament) in all Italian elections. She has the proper pedigree for your Maximum Leader. She’s sexy. And she’s ideologically pure. She did leave the National Front party (quasi-fascists) because they weren’t quite fascist enough. Now she runs the Social Alternative party.
Your Maximum Leader should start his own political party. If he did perhaps he could get it listed in the Yahoo Political party directory…
Carry on.
(more…)
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the Japanese continue to be on the cutting edge of technology. They are now introducing “scented” films in a few cinemas around Tokyo. These movie palaces will spray up to six different scents into the air during differnent scenes in films to simulate the smell of the environment in which the scene is taking place. The first film to be shown in this format will be (the big flop) “The New World” with Colin Farrell. During the film the smell of forests (pine forests one suspects - since that scent seems so popular in the world of disinfectants) will be sprayed into the air during many outdoor scenes on screen.
The second film to be shown in this new format will be “Creatures of Red Hot Passion in the Den of Sin” with Jenna Jameson. During that film the smell of…
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has been thinking about the Zacarias Moussaoui case and the job facing the jury. The jury is going to be determining if Moussaoui gets life in prison or the death penalty.
Good minions will know that your Maximum Leader continues to support the death penalty. And frankly he would apply the death penalty rather more generously than it has been doled out by our justice system. And since your Maximum Leader is being frank… He’d prefer to see more executions by firing squad. Not only is it cheaper than other forms of execution, but it could be used to bolster a civilian marksmanship program. (But that is another post…)
So it will seem rather surprising when your Maximum Leader states that he doesn’t believe Zacarias Moussaoui should get the death penalty. Your Maximum Leader’s reason boils down to Moussaoui, although a conspirator, didn’t actually commit the mass murders of Sept. 11. There is, in your Maximum Leader’s mind, something missing in this story. Since Moussaoui just plead guilty your Maximum Leader isn’t sure that the whole story is out there.
Of course, Moussaoui also wants to become a martyr. Your Maximum Leader would like to deny him that. He would rather like to see Moussaoui condemned to be some large convict’s bitch for the rest of his natural (or unnatural as the case may be) days. The idea of Zacarias Moussaoui being buggered day and night for many years is somehow satisfying. Your Maximum Leader would also like to put him on a pork-only diet, but the Bureau of Prisons is unlikely to go that far.
No, Moussaoui shouldn’t be executed if he can be made to suffer.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has spent the past few days with a two year old attached to his person. The Wee Villain appears to be over the worst of it. But he’s been remarkably “clingy” over the past few days. What makes the situation particularly bad is that the Wee Villain wants his momma. But momma is up to here eyeballs in work that must be completed by Friday. So she can’t attend to him like she would want to. And your Maximum Leader is a poor substitute for maternal nurturing.
But on the plus side, your Maximum Leader has been able to watch lots of baseball on TV. He’s even taught the Wee Villain to yell “Go! Go! Go!” at the TV when men are running the bases. So that is a good thing.
Anyho… Your Maximum Leader hopes to pithily opine on a few subjects today and tomorrow. Then tomorrow afternoon/evening he will be leaving the Villainschloss and heading down to the Smallholder’s farm for Easter. We’ll be making Coq au Vin, roasting lamb, and making a quasi-haggis. Good times will be had by all.
And in case you missed it… You should check out the Japanese “Dick Festival” from MasaMania (via the Poet Laureate). By the way… That “Dick Festival” link is probably NSFW.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader had hoped to play hookie from his responsibilities today and sneak out to catch the Nationals home opener against the Mets. But it was not to be. The Wee Villain is still home today and has some Doctors appointments. As well, Villainette #1 is home from school with some viral thingie. So your Maximum Leader is home attending to his offspring.
Perhaps he’ll get lucky and be able to catch tomorrows game. Tomorrows game should be the more interesting one as Pedro Martinez is slated to start for the Mets. In last weeks series he beamed a Vidro and Guillen and is due for some retribution as best your Maximum Leader can figure it. That would be sweet to see…
Sweet.
Your Maximum Leader isn’t a big Pedro fan anyho… He is a great pitcher and all… But your Maximum Leader doesn’t care much for him. That tune might change if he ever played for the Nationals. Then your Maximum Leader would tolerate him. As Jerry Seinfeld once mentioned, you’re only rooting for the shirts.
Carry on.
