No surprises here, either. I’m posting my results before the blog veers any farther right.
| You are a Social Liberal (78% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (28% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
Believe.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to take this quiz he saw over on JohnL’s site. No surprises really. And this quiz isn’t as good as some other ones of a similar ilk.
Results:
| You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an… Economic Conservative (76% permissive) You are best described as a:
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader would like to note that on Monday North Korea agreed in principle to stop their nuclear weapons program. Yesterday the North Koreans said that they needed lots of concessions to stop their nuclear weapons program. And finally today we discover that the talks are really a pretext for a US invasion of North Korea.
Beautiful. Just friggin beautiful.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is sure he’s used his puny words to describe how great Outer Life is. If you doubt it, or have never visited Outer Life read this.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was in the Villainmobile and chanced to come across some radio program from the Beeb about how the rest of the world views the United States. The real title of the program ought to have been called “More mindless people spouting off about why they hate the US.”
So… Your Maximum Leader would like to humbly suggest ten (count ‘em 10) policy changes that would give legitimate reasons for the rest of the world to hate us. Here we go:
1) Stop exporting drugs. All those great drugs US pharmaceutical companies make? From now on they are for Americans only. We would, of course, have to destroy all the drug factories built by US companies around the world… But hey, you gotta break a few eggs…
2) Stop allowing immigrants (legal and illegal) to come to the US - unless they can demonstrably show that they can offer some tangible skill or talent to the nation.
2a) We continue to allow foreign exchange students into universities - on the condition that they never return to their native land. Thus making the “brain-drain” problem even worse.
3) Implement a true “you have it, we want it, we take it” foreign policy. Suppose we need more oil. We invade your country and take it. We pay nothing for it. We kill as many people as we need to in order to get it. Then we leave. This policy also goes for gold, silver, uranium, sheep, apes, elephants, coconuts, bananas, exotic hot chicks, whatever really. We can get really whimsical on this one… Maybe one day Congress decides we need a national “schnitzel day.” The night before, we invade Germany and/or Austria and take all the schnitzel we can lay our hands on…
5) Stop all foreign aid. Not a big deal really (to us). We don’t give much foreign aid as it is. After all, we know the UN thinks we’re “stingy.”
6) Take back the Internet.
7) Jam all non-American TV shows from being broadcast anywhere in the world.
8 ) Offer the UK, Australia, and Israel statehood. That way they can partake in all the fun we’ll have! Everyone knows they’re nothing but US stooges anyway!
9) We build a huge solar shade and randomly position it for weeks at a time over other nations. Thereby plunging them into darkness and chaos. We only move the shade to another randomly selected nation if we get a big sappy Hallmark card signed by everyone in the affected country saying how much they really like us and are sorry they forgot to wish us a happy 4th of July. (Nations that send a $25 Wal-Mart gift card to every registered US voter in addition to the sappy card will get a guarantee that we’ll not park the solar shade over their country for at least 1 calendar year.)
10) First, put a whole bunch of nasty neutron bombs on satellites. Then start a new season of “Survivor.” The season will be entitled “Survivor: The 3rd World.” Multinational teams from all over the 3rd world will compete against each other. Teams will seek to win contests and earn “immunity.” Losing teams will have to vote off one team member. The contestant voted off will be summarily executed and his nation bombed indiscriminately. Eventually the one surviving contestant will be given $1 million (US) and his nation given Commonwealth status. (Just like Puerto Rico!)
If we make these simple policy changes then, truly, the rest of the world might have a legitimate reason to hate us.
Carry on.
(more…)
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader reads that Simon Wisenthal has died in Vienna. He was 96.
Your Maximum Leader is sure that if you were inclined to do so you’ve already read the myriad obituaries about Wisenthal. If you were not inclined to read the obituaries, shame on you. Simon Wisenthal kept horrible acts in the forefront of the minds of people. He sought justice for the dead. He spent his life fighting for civilization against barbarism. His life was a worthy one and one that is worthy of respect and tribute.
Remember Simon Wisenthal. And may he rest in peace.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is writing this specifically for Kate Moss. Kate, if you’re out there (and your Maximum Leader knows you lurk around here waiting for the Minister of Propaganda to post) take heed.
This whole coke thing is beginning to affect your career. Affect in bad ways. The Swedes are dropping you from ad campaigns. Aren’t the Swedes like the most non-confrontational understanding pople in Europe? And they are upset with you? This isn’t good.
Kate, take your Maximum Leader’s advice. Call the Minister of Propaganda (send an e-mail - we’ll give you the number). He wants to help you through this. Don’t call any of those former boyfriends like Johnny Depp or anything. They didn’t have your best interests in mind. Not like the M of P. He’ll hold your hand and walk you through this.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the agreement with North Korea lasted all of about 24 hours.
Your Maximum Leader is glad he didn’t get around to finishing his “Top 10 Things to Love About Kim Jong-Il” post.
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that those wacky Germans are embroiled in an electoral quandry of sorts. Stick with Schoeder or move to Merkel. Humm… Interesting to see how this will pan out.
Excursus: Where is the US Supreme Court on this? If Justice Breyer can cite international law in his decisions, couldn’t he offer to referree the formations of German government coalitions? Just askin…
But electoral results not withstanding, they are starting to party in Bavaria!
Can you find the Foreign Minister in this photo?
Well, your Maximum Leader can tell you that the elusive Foreign Minister is not in this photo…
Carry on.
Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that North Korea has agreed (in principle) to give up its nuclear program in exchange for cheap oil, cheap food, and security guarantees. The Rueters article is here.
This is a promising start for the week. Of course, as with all interactions with a xenophobic Stalinist dictatorship one will have to wait to see what Kim will actually do. He’ll agree in principle to just about anything to get himself some space and bargaining room.
The tenor of the various ministers negotiating in Beijing appears to be upbeat. So who knows, perhaps this is a breakthrough. Until he sees some progress on the North Korean side your Maximum Leader will remain sceptical.
Carry on.
In honor of the fact that I worked as crew on one of this week’s movies, welcome to the Extended Director’s Cut Edition of One-Word Movie Reviews: TWO word reviews! Enjoy the extra depth and clarity of vision that only an extended version of the original work can bring you. . .
In Theaters:
The Constant Gardener: f***ing superb
Pretty Persuasion: f***ing convoluted
Just Like Heaven: f***ing okay
Viewed at home:
Kontroll: f***ing shrewd
Dead Leaves: f***ig frantic
Overnight: f***ing cautionary
The Boondock Saints: f***ing indulgent
F***ing Believe.
Speaking of Kelo…
Let me get this straight.
I purchased my farm.
I’ll raise my family there.
I’ll build barns with my father.
I’ll spend 50 years improving the pasture.
I’ll build and maintain grape trellises and allow the vines to age to glorious perfection. I’ll use the grapes to make wine for my daughter’s wedding reception.
I’ll bury my dog - hell, family members - under the oak tree.
I’ll build hay bale forts in the loft with my grandchildren.
And then some developer can come along, evaluate my million-dollar views of the blue ridge, decide to build a hotel, convince Albermarle County to transfer my land under eminent domain, and win in court because higher tax receipts are “public use?”
No.
Not just no.
Heeeeeeelllllll no!
Sure, Virginia’s politicians are going to put legislative protections in place. But legislative protections can be overturned. I want my court to recogniuze a basic right protected in black letters in the Constitution.
Ought to be confirmed.
Under our system, the President gets to nominate and the Senate confirms. Since the Republican Party controls both the White House and the Senate, they would be perfectly within their Constitutional rights to put Jennifer Love Hewitt to the Supreme Court.
The Democrats can’t, under our system, derail a nominee.
That said, what they can do is hold the Republicans responsible for their choices and increase their chances to seize control of the White House and/or Senate.
And the Democracts are screwing the pooch on this one.
Screaming about Roe and civil rights won’t shift public opinion that far.
They ought to be screaming about Kelo. That’s an issue that could move the middle class, were it ’splained.
Kelo’s use of eminent domain to render private property insecure in the face of big developers was decided 5-4. Both O’Connor and Rehnquist voted on the side of the angels on this one. So the current vote, should another eminent domain case come before the court again, would be 5-2.
If Roberts is willing to show judicial deference to legislative prerogative, the only defence we will have against rapacious developers will be the right action of state legislators who depend on… developers for campaign contributions.
We need to get pro-private property judges on the court before Kelo becomes settled precedent.
Why aren’t the Democrats seizing on this issue? Eminent domain disproportionately affects the politcally unconnected poor. Middle class folks get nervous when you start talking about taking people’s houses. And many rich folks have a predisposition to protect private property. This is a win-win-win situation for the Democrats.
So you bombard Roberts with Kelo questions. He refuses to answer. In 2008 you argue that the American people ought to elect a President who will appoint justices that will protect private property.
But no, they’d rather grandstand for their core constituency that isn’t going anywhere anyway.
The AI Tech came yesterday.
With any luck, Bonnie is “caught.”
We’ll know in 22 days.
Cross your fingers.
I am preparing a post, but need your help.
Please send the Maximum Leader a picture of you exercising your right to bear arms.
And, yes, Minister of Propaganda, you ought to trust me.
I imagine that the Foreign Minister has hundreds of photos of his gun-brandishing self. The MOP ought to have a few pics from his military service. I’m not sure whether the Air Marshal or Poer Laureate are gun nuts.
And should Sadie be included in the sample since she has posting rights, even if those rights are only exercised in drive-by moonings?
