Shine Out, Fair Sun, Till I Have Bought A Glass…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was called out yesterday afternoon by Christina of Feisty Repartee. The feisty Christina desired that your Maximum Leader cmment on the question posed in this post.

What does a man do to himself to make him feel confident and sexy?

Well…

Allow you Maximum Leader to go on the record now. He is DEAD SEXY! Indeed, he must cloister himself in the Villainschloss to avoid the throngs of women who contantly offer themselves to him for carnal pleasuring…

Okay… That may be overstating it a little bit. Your Maximum Leader is remarkably average looking and doesn’t believe that he is particularly “sexy.” To be quite honest, your Maximum Leader doesn’t believe that he has ever done anything special to make himself feel confident and sexy.

He will say that he does cut a dashing figure in his tuxedo or in one of his favourite Brooks Brothers Suits. But he also thinks he looks pretty good in his kilt too. (Mrs. Villain says your Maximum Leader’s legs are not too shabby.) A well-tailored suit can cover many flaws of nature. (Whereas an ill-tailored suit will accentuate the negatives.) If your Maximum Leader would say that the is probably at his sexiest in a suit/tuxedo.

Excurus: Allow your Maximum Leader to heap praise on the kilt. For those of you of Scottish/Irish/Greek extraction, you really ought to investigate wearing a kilt. They are wonderful. They aren’t confining. They allow circulation of air to places that are better off for being airated periodically. They make going to the bathroom quite easy. And, you’re always ready to “lift a leg on” a bonnie lass if the opportunity should present itself. The kilt is a great article of clothing…

Perhaps your Maximum Leader might feel a little more sexy and confident when dressed in a suit or tuxedo. But really, for a man sexiness and confidence are a matter of poise and bearing. They are not outwardly appointed things. One can learn to carry themselves in a way that excudes confidence and a certain self-assurance (sexy) that is independent of clothing or objects.

When your Maximum Leader is feeling sort of low, he likes to withdraw with a good book and read. Or sometimes play a game of Total War on the easy setting (and use cheat codes) to really beat up on the computer. And he sometimes will cook really elaborate meals for the family as a pick-me-up.

Upon reflection, Christina’s question is harder to answer than your Maximum Leader thought. Because (as has been observed by various commentors), men and women respond differently to very concepts of confident and sexy. Perhaps this is hard-wired in our genes, perhaps it is socialized. (Thanks Larry Summers!) He doesn’t know.

As for what makes a woman sexy… Your Maximum Leader is not a big frilly knickers type of guy. A tee-shirt and boxers are pretty damned sexy. For “normal” wear, your Maximum Leader thinks sundresses are pretty sexy. And because your Maximum Leader likes some hips on a woman, something that accentuates the curves of a woman is very sexy. (Sarongs pop into his mind - but that is not the only thing.) The woman who is comfortable in her own skin is sexy - regardless of what she is wearing.

He could go on. But he thinks he’ll wrap up here. He’s still not quite up to snuff…

Carry on.

A Tale To Warm The Heart Of The Smallholder.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader may mock the Smallholder for being squishy and unable to kill vermin. But he does run a really eco-friendly farm. Indeed, your Maximum Leader was recently talking to a retired Agricultural Extension agent concerning some of the Smallholder’s farming practices. The agent was quite impressed.

Well, something you’ll never hear about on the Smallholder’s farm is a giant manure pile spontaneously combusting.

Nope. Just wont happen. (Just like killin’ varmints wont happen either if they’ve been trapped.)

Carry on.

Update on Squishy Smallholder

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader (who still doesn’t feel too great and is going to see a doctor today) knows that as he writes this a vermin racoon is on the loose in Albemarle County, Virginia. The wretched ‘coon was trapped and held by our very own Smallholder. But he couldn’t finish the job.

It is a sad day when farmers in our great republic don’t kill vermin; but rather trap them and release them in resort areas where they can feast on garbage and make a nuisance for all decent people.

Harumph.

Carry on.

To The Squishy Smallholder

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is still not feeling quite up to snuff. He’s been trying to take it easy and feel better. (NB: Minion Molly wrote to say she is not well either. Hummm… Coincidence? Or evidence of illicit dalliances across the ether?… Probably coincidence. It’s that time of year.)

Anyho…

The Smallholder asks, below, wht should be the fate of the trapped racoon. Here are a few suggestions.

In the style of your Maximum Leader: Shoot it. Drag it out and shoot it. Allow its body to bloat in the sun as an example to all other uppity racoons lest they get ideas.

In the style of Winston Churchill: Shoot it. But don’t waste time. Just walk right up and shoot the bloody thing. Of course, don’t be rude either. When killing a racoon it costs one nothing to be polite.

In the style of the Joseph Stalin: Shoot it. Walk up and POW! One round in the back of the head. Note to self: invoice the racoon’s family for the bullet.

In the style of the John F. Kerry: Examine your options carefully. Don’t be too hasty in starting an ill-concieved war against this particular rodent when you know the deer are your real enemy. Don’t be distracted by the racoon. Go after the deer! Or then again, don’t go after the deer. Perhaps you SHOULD go after the racoon. Aw hell… Who cares. I voted in favour of authorizing the Smallholder to use force anyway… But I am not going to vote to fund a replacement bullet! Not till all the farmers in France agree with killing the racoon.

In the style of Professor Burgess-Jackson: You have an obligation to minimize the suffering of the racoon. You are keeping it trapped and probably mistreating it by with-holding food and water. The racoon is a moral agent and entitled to fair treatment, as such, by you. Release the racoon.

In the style of Cletus from the Simpsons: Shoot it. Then skin it. Then cook it. ‘Coons make good eatin’.

There you have it… The preponderence is for shooting. Of course, if you don’t want to waste the bullet. You do still have your Maximum Leader’s machete…

Carry on.

send it into the void

The Smallholder asks for opinions re: what to do about the raccoon he caught (see the post below this one). My take:

Just do the fucker in.

Sounds like you don’t have much of a choice. Why prolong his suffering?

Got any Teflon-coated rounds? Might prevent ricochet. Heh.

There’s also the option of putting the raccoon into a bag, then shooting the bag full of holes. This solves, more or less, the “moving target” problem. It might also solve the ricochet problem if you’ve placed the bag on the ground and are basically firing into the ground (from a distance, of course).

Or fill the bag with rocks and let that puppy sink to the bottom of a lake or river. It’s all over in a few short minutes.

Or put the raccoon in a bag and apply a sledgehammer to your dilemma. The bag solves, more or less, the problem of splatter.

Or wrap the animal tightly enough that squirming is minimal, replace the sledgehammer with an axe, and make sure your aim is true, O Executioner. Hit that spinal cord as hard as you can. Whether you actually slice through the cord or merely smash it, you want the raccoon dead in a single blow.

Assuming the above options gall you… if there’s a research lab in need of a raccoon, you could always donate the animal to it.

UPDATE: I originally wrote “Kevlar-coated” when I meant “Teflon-coated.” Yikes.

_

Reader Input Needed

I trapped a raccon last night.

He and his mate have been sneaking into my barn and trying to get into the winter chicken quarters. Luckily, my father and I are notorious for overbuilding things and they were not able to immediately break in, though they did manage to start working wire staples loose on the door.

I know that I should kill the raccoon.

In the heat of the moment I’d have no problem blowing him away. But once he’s trapped it seems so, well, coldblooded.

I sense my father’s dissapointment. He and my uncle could not understand why I could not shoot the neighbors dog when it went after my poultry. Intellectually I have no problem - I have a moral obligation to protect my livestock, as well as a financial obligation to my family. But, I have to confess, I may be a bit squishy when it comes to doing the actual deed.

I cannot move the raccoon somewhere else - it is illegal to transport raccoons in the state of Virginia (for good reason - the spread of disease between raccoon subpopulations AND I’d simply be exporting my problem to someone else). The animal control people say to just kill it.

I can’t shoot it - I don’t want to ding up the cage and a ricochet at close range might be a possibility - I only shoot at things at a good distance. If I let it out first, I’ll have to shoot at a moving target, which makes me nervous. I like to take my time when preparing to loose a round.

So, given that releasing the animal locally is not an option,

And moving him is not an option,

What should I do with him?

You have until 5:30 to e-mail me. Then I go home, and lacking a better alternative, do him in.

Calling Major Kilgore

Standing there alone
The blog is waiting
Personal life is slow
“Are you sure?”
Sadie is not convinced
But the celibacy watch
Has the evidence
No need to reset
The counter counts on

Waiting impatiently
His readers are anxious
Nothing is posted
Blogger’s working
Trying not to whine
Out in the blogosphere
“He’s probably on a date
With a big-nosed woman”
But still no posts
The counter counts on

Anyone else miss Kilgore?

Well, I have a confession to make.

It is my fault that he is not posting.

He’s working for Sweet Seasons Farm.

I’m getting pretty good at this farming thing. But I hate the business end. I have sold 10 of my 16 sides of beef. But I have only received two deposits. Am I supposed to start calling people again? I hate calling people up and talking business. I’m not an extrovert like the Maximum Leader.

So I decided that I need a shylock.

But, upon reconsideration, perhaps breaking knees is not the ideal way to ensure repeat patronage. What I really need is an accounts receivable clerk.

So I hired Kilgore.

So anyone who misses ol’ Kilgore’s witty irreverence can blame me.

UPDATE: Upon re-reconsideration, I do need to send a shylock to the Maximum Leader. He definitely needs his knees broken. Or will that get me purged?

Illness and Death

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader thinks he is coming down with something. So he will take it easy today and post little to nothing at all. But before he goes…

Isn’t there an odd irony to the passing Sandra Dee and the suicide of Hunter S. Thompson?

It seems very odd indeed that these two should be joined in the obituaries on the same day.

Carry on.

Minion Mailbag, February 19th Edition

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader, with great relish, dips into the minion mailbag once again…

Our first writer is one Mr. Michael L. Scarlett. Mr. Scarlett writes:

stop using GD!!!

Okay…

Humm…

Let your Maximum Leader go on the record here. He is not sure what this GD is that he is using. Of course, Mr. Scarlett could be refering to something the Smallholder has written. But in that instance, your Maximum Leader still doesn’t know what the GD is that is being used.

At first your Maximum Leader thought Mr. Scarlett was referring the invocation of God. Perhaps Mr. Scarlett is of a funadmentalist yoke who prefers not to render the word God. (In the case of most people your Maximum Leader knows like this they are prone to write G-D.) But, your Maximum Leader did a little reviewing of ye olde blogge and didn’t see where God was invoked anytime recently.

So, allow your Maximum Leader to just state on the record, he doesn’t know what the GD is that he (or Smallholder) were using. Thus, he will continue to use GD with impunity. If Mr. Scarlett cares to follow-up and explain himself more. Well that is just fine. We’re all about dialogue here at Nakedvillainy. Unless that dialogue conflicts with the whim of your Maximum Leader. In which case we’re all about firing squads here at Nakedvillainy.

And we got a very fine note from our loyal reader and West-Coast minion, Brian of Memento Moron. Brian writes (about your Maximum Leader’s recent inquiry concerning dual citizenship):

Point of information: You CAN hold dual citizenship with one of them being US. Babies born overseas to American parents qualify, and I believe there’s also an exception for US and Israeli citizenship, but I’m not sure exactly how it works.

Brian’s note is interesting. As your Maximum Leader stated before, he was under the impression that as far as the US was concerned you either were a citizen or you were not a citizen. (And frankly, the way some courts are deciding cases concerning driving licenses, and social services one wonders if there really is a substantive difference any mor.) To try and clarify, you might hold citizenship in another country; but to Uncle Sam you are an American.

This leads to an interesting point in the case of the aforementioned Ms. Morissette. When you become a US citizen by choice (naturalized) aren’t you required anymore to renounce your past loyalties (those of your birth)? Shouldn’t you do so anyway just to make a good impression?

Obviously not. Since Ms. Morissette appears to still be proudly Canadian.

Excursus - Doesn’t the word “proud” seem a little strong before the appelation “Canadian.” Wouldn’t something like “happily” or “gratefully” or “contentedly” work better. Canada hasn’t been flexing a lot of muscle lately on the world scene and “proud” denotes a certain manner of bearing that may not jive with the pleasant demeanor of Canada or Canadians. (Skippy not withstanding.)

Humm… Your Maximum Leader supposes that it just doesn’t matter to anyone anymore what your political (as in nation-state) affiliations are.

Please note, in the MWO EVERYONE will sign (in blood - for DNA authentication) a document in which they pledge their full and complete fealty to your Maximum Leader. Those refusing will be shot. And their bodies thrown into a large pigsty. (As the Scilians might say “He sleeps with the fishes.” So we in the MWO we’ll say, “He’s hors d’oeurves for the piggies.”)

Carry on.

L and O Dream Team

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is hopping on the meme wagon with Jonathan and Kathy. He is going to create his own Law & Order Dream Team.

But first, let your Maximum Leader second Jonathan by saying that if you want topshelf acting on TV, Law & Order is the place to go. Even some of the knock-off other shows are still outstanding TV. You know, after The Simpsons, Law & Order is the only TV show your Maximum Leader watches with anything approaching regularity.

Anyhoo… On to your Maximum Leader’s Law & Order dream team. They are: ‹drumroll›

On the Law side:

S. Epatha Merkerson

Jesse L. Martin

Mariska Hargitay

On the Order side:

Steven Hill

Sam Waterson

Carey Lowell

‹/drumroll›

That was tougher to do than your Maximum Leader thought. It wasn’t too hard to pick S. Epatha Merkerson or Sam Waterson. And for your Maximum Leader it wasn’t too hard to pick Steven Hill over Fred Thompson (a close second). But choosing the detectives was really hard. He really likes Mariska Hargitay (even though she is on a L and O franchise program). And he was getting sentimental and going to pick Jerry Orbach. But then he remembered that he also liked Paul Sorvino a bit too. (Even though Paul was only on for 2-3 years. Betcha forgot him.) But he really likes Jesse Martin a lot - and in the end made the list above Jerry and Paul.

So there you go. Two useless postings in one day.

Carry on.

And Are You Thinking Of Me When You…

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that everyone’s favourite Canadian “screech-diva” (as the Big Hominid so aptly labled her once), Alanis Morissette, has become an American citizen. At least so reports the AP news wire. This has prompted some random thoughts.

First, your Maximum Leader does actually own a few Alanis Albums. (Humm… Albums? Does that term date a person?) He owns two. And some of her stuff he does enjoy when he is in the mood. But at the same time, he sometimes feels like a dirty voyeur listening to her songs. They are sometimes a little too raw and personal. Stuff your Maximum Leader would never write/sing about. (Well, it is best that your Maximum Leader not sing at all really…)

Second, Alanis is retaining her Canadian citizenship. Your Maximum Leader is too lazy right now to look this up, but he was under the impression that as far as the good ole US of A was concerned; you’re an American or you are not. We don’t recognize the whole “dual citizenship” thing. Is this really the case? If he had more time/inclination he’d start googling and reading the State Department’s web site to see what he could find. But he just isn’t that motivated.

Third, your Maximum Leader can’t decide if Alanis is hot or not. Most of the time he is inclined to say “Well, she’s cute. But…” And then other times… Well she doesn’t start your Maximum Leader’s engine at all.

Well, you’ve just wasted between 1-3 minutes of your life reading this drivel. Remember you’ll never get that time back. Hope you enjoyed it.

Carry on.

Sound Advice

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has read about the plight of blogger Michael Bates and his blog Batesline. But of all the things he’s read about this bloggers story, the first thing he’s wanted to comment on was written by our beloved Sadie.

When faced with a legal action, or the threat of legal action if you do not cease and desist, it isbest not to rely on the well-wishes and sentiment of fellow bloggers; but rather rely on our own competent legal counsel. If Michael Bates does not plan on complying with the cease and desist request from the Tulsa World News (or whatever the paper’s name is) he needs to get himself a lawyer. If Michael Bates plans on replying to the cease and desist letter, he needs to make sure his lawyer proofs it before it is mailed/posted/whatever.

Your Maximum Leader will gleefully chide lawyers, and the legal profession. He will point out when he thinks a law is stupid, misapplied, or badly interpreted. And he will rail out against judges with whom he disagrees. But he would never ever (EVER!) move through or into a legal proceeding without counsel. Sure your Maximum Leader is a polymath of sort. He could talk his way out of a lot of things. But he would never dream of fighting a serious legal battle without a lawyer (or even better - a whole firm chocked full of ‘em).

Michael Bates, your Maximum Leader exhorts you to heed Sadie’s advice. Get a lawyer. Don’t be a fool. Our adversarial legal system (the glorious product of thousands of years of the Anglo-American tradition - or Franco-American tradition if you live in Louisiana) will treat you quite roughly if you don’t have a professional with you and the other side does.

Carry on.

Organic Foods & Rats

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was perusing the internet and found a post from our minionly friend Norm that caught our eye. Norm writes about a study in which rats fed organically grown veggies are healthier than those fed w/non-organic veggies. Norm wondered if your Maximum Leader (or by extension the Smallholder) would be in favour of such a study. Well. Your Maximum Leader hadn’t given it much thought. Though he is generally against stronger healther rats. So, he would prefer not to support such research.

Carry on.

Taking the Bait

Methinks the Maximum Leader posted the Derbyshire piece to draw me out of my fatigue-induced silence.

First of all, perhaps Derb’s admission that homosexuality is inborn will force the Maximum Leader to stop singing “la! la! la! - Science that goes against my predispoisiton doesn’t exist!”

But, snarky comments about my host aside, I would like to take issue with two of the things Derbyshire says - one factual and one conceptual.

He writes:

The theories involving genetics all suffer from mathematical problems.
Homosexuality imposes such a huge “negative Darwinian load” on the affected
organism that it is hard to see how genes inclining to homosexuality could
persist for long in any population. Various ingenious theories have been cooked
up in attempts to finesse the issue, but nobody has been able to make the
evolutionary math work. Which is baffling, because there are persistent nagging
hints, in identical-twin studies for instance, that homosexuality does have some
genetic component.

Someone publishing his ideas in the NRO ought to do a bit more research. Plenty of people have been able to “make the evolutionary math work” and have done so for decades. An important corollary of natural selection is the principle of kinship selection. Even if an organism itself does not reproduce, it can still be a Darwinian winner if enough close relatives pass on their genes. Darwinian psychologists have used this principle to understand altruism and familial favoritism. One (I can’t remember which) joked that he wouldn’t die for a cousin, but he might die for nine. Since cousins share one eighth of their genetic material, saving the lives of nine would, mathematically speaking, be a good trade from the selfish gene’s point of view. Homosexuality, whether genetic predestination or genetic inclination (there are several genes whose influence is flipped on or off based on external stimulus).

In a period of tough times, the ability to nurture a few children to adulthood would be more advantageous than producing many children, who lacking nurture, would be less likely to survive to adulthood.

One example of genes being flipped by exernal stimuli can be found in the reproductive behavior of bluegills. There are three identified mating patterns. Type A leads to a behavior in which males jealously guard a few nests of fertilized eggs. Type B leads to a behavior in which males establish large nest territories and breed with many females. Type C leads to sneaky behavior - these bluegills sneak into the large territories and drop their sperm onto unfertilized eggs. Since males with a large territory can’t guard all of their nests all of the time, the cuckolder fish can have a successful strategy. If the big territory fish become too prevalent in the gene pool, the sneaky strategy becomes more and more successful. As the sneaky strategy starts to predominate, genetic calculus begins to shift towards the guardian fish. If the guardian fish become too numerous, the sneaks lose ground and the big territory strategy becomes valuable. Round and round we go. Genes are complex. While scientists have identified the actual genes assigning sex strategy, other genes establish chemical reactions that respond to environmental cues. Some bluegills seem to be able to adapt their strategy based on the ratio of the three main strategies in the population. This sexual fluidity is an evolutionary advantage.

A similar set of male reproductive behavior has been hypothesized - the cad vs. The dad. See Sperm Wars or The Moral Animal. The Moral Animal emphasizes the fluidity side of the argument - noting that the chemical changes causes by feelings of well-being are a good biological gauge of status and mating potential. High-status males, responding to their environmental cues, are more likely to engage in adultery or serial monogamy. Lower status males (or those with low endorphin levels) tend to focus on nurturing children within one woman. Tremendously low status males, unconsciously realizing their chances for mating are very low, may, in extreme cases, become rapists. The last bit Make Wright unpopular with feminists who claim rape is about power - Wright argues that forced sex is a natural response to powerlessness and backs up that argument with examples from several primate species.

Combine the principle of kinship selection and fluid sexual strategy. Might men who father no children of their own, but instead lavish attention on nephews and nieces have an evolutionary advantage in tough times of overcrowding? In the nomadic ancestral environment, large groups were a recipe for starvation - when the herd was going to be thinned, those who had the most parental support would be more likely to survive. If support from a mom and a dad is valuable, support from a mom, dad, uncle, and “uncle” would be even more valuable.

From the gay man’s genes’ point of view, this may be a good strategy - if he was straight and fathered two children, each of whom, in tough times, would have a 10% chance of survival, adding his nurture to his sibling’s children (who each share one quarter of his genetic material), thus raising their chance of survival to 50%, he comes out ahead in the evolutionary math.

Setting aside the kinship discussion, Derbyshire has also overlooked the new studies that link female promiscuity to male homosexuality. Danish researchers have found that women with more children are also statistically more likely to give birth to male homosexuals. They have theorized (and yes, Mike, they have not yet isolated the culprit gene) that a gene or set of genes that triggers a strong sex drive in females can also trigger homosexuality in their male offspring. So, once again, the evolutionary math can explain homosexuality - Derbyshire’s cost of the loss of one set of grandchildren is more than balanced by the prospect of gaining more grandchildren from sexually active daughters.

Derbyshire’s lack of understanding of evolutionary theoy is largely academic. What matters is his attempt to justify discrimination against homosexuals - regardless of whether homosexuality is a choice or is inborn.

Derbyshire writes:

Homosexual behavior is a social negative, suggesting as it does that normal
heterosexual pairing, the bedrock institution of all societies, is merely one of
a number of possible, and equally moral, “lifestyles,” and thereby devaluing
that pairing ? perhaps, on the evidence from Scandinavia presented by our own
Stanley Kurtz on this site, fatally.

I often see conservatives make the “protect our traditional marriage” argument without ever explaining how gay marriage affects straight marriage. What Bob and Joe do in their bedroom has ZERO influence on my love for Sally and the kids. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night and say to myself, “Well, now that Bob and Joe can do the nasty with the legal blessing of the state, I’se gots to get me sum of that hot man luvin’!”

As to the Scandinavia study, much bandied by the lunatic Christian fringe: The increase of divorce rates and decline of marriage happened during the same time period in which homosexuals gained general acceptance. This does not establish causality. The burden of proof is to find the causal link. The fact that the NHL season was canceled AFTER the Red Sox won the series does not show that Bostonian triumphalism is bad for North American hockey. This study has been thoroughly debunked.

A strong link can be established between the growing economic independence of woman and an increase in the divorce rate. Children do better in two parent households. Does this mean that we ought to limit educational opportunities for women so that they will be forced to stay in heterosexual marriages?

Also particularly galling:

I don’t think that the fact of a predilection being inborn should necessarily
lead us to a morally neutral view of the acts it prompts. If you could prove to
me that pyromania is inborn, I should not feel any better disposed towards
arson.

Um, arson creates victims. Consensual sex has no victim. This is as silly an analogy as KBJ’s voting dogs.

This essay also demonstrates Derbyshire’s blindness to America’s legal protection of minority rights:

Further, homosexuality is offensive to many believers in all three of the major
Western religions, who form a large majority of the American population. I think
that while minority rights ought to be respected, civic majorities ought not be
asked to endure offense for the sake of abstract metaphysical or juridical
theories, unless dire and dramatic injustices like slavery are in play.
Majorities have rights too; and while I want to see minority rights respected, I
don’t think that every minor inconvenience consequent on being a member of a
minority should be raised to the level of an intolerable injustice requiring
drastic legislative or judicial remedy. We all have to put up with some
inconveniences arising from our particular natures.

Being denied the 1000+ legal rights granted by marriage is not an inconvenience; it is Apartheid. The state may restrict minority rights under certain circumstances. Tom Chatt, who I have linked to before, does a better job than I ever could explaining the legal issues surrounding limitation of minority rights. I’ll include a salient paragraph below:


It is useful at this juncture to outline the principles of American
jurisprudence on when it is appropriate to classify “unlike” situations. The law
may classify based on a variety of personal attributes, such as age,
citizenship, gender, and (as already noted) species. However, any classification
is by default suspect in the law because of the principle of equal rights,
treating likes alike. In considering whether some proposed classification is
legal, one considers three thigs: (1) what is being denied, (2) who is being
denied, and (3) for what purpose are some people being denied. In the first
consideration — what is being denied — we must consider how important is the
right that is being denied. Some rights, such as the right to vote or the right
to marry, are considered to be fundamental rights, essential to our life and
liberty, and thus we scrutinize more closely any infringements on these rights.
Other rights, such as the right to park one’s car overnight on a particular
street, are not fundamental, and thus the law would reasonably tolerate some
forms of discrimination in regard to such rights (e.g., only people who live on
a street might get to park their cars overnight on that street) which would be
intolerable for fundamental rights (e.g., it would be intolerable to say that
people who lived on Elm Street could vote while people who live on Poplar Street
could not). In the second consideration — who is being denied — we must
consider the kind of discrimination being made. Is it based on age or gender or
race or which street you live on? Here, certain kinds of discrimination are
considered “suspect classes” (such as race or religion), or have explicit
protections in the law (such as disabilities or veteran status). Discrimination
on such characteristics has an extremely high presumption of being illegal,
while other forms of discrimination (e.g., age or marital status) are not
scrutinized quite as closely. In the third consideration — the purpose of
classification — we examine what a proposed law is trying to accomplish by its
classification, and how well the classification serves the purpose. Where
fundamental rights are being abridged, or where suspect classes are being
discriminated against, the principle is to apply “strict scrutiny” to see if
there is a “compelling state interest” being served and whether the
classification is required and narrowly tailored to serve that interest. In
other cases, lesser scrutiny is applied to see whether there is some “rational
basis” for the law, and whether the classification is in some way reasonably
connected to the purpose. (There is always some scrutiny to be applied, since
purely arbitrary discrimination by the law is never tolerable.)

Game. Set. Match.

I know the Maximum Leader loves Derbyshire, but this particular essay impresses me not at all.

Derb On Homosexuality

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has always liked John Derbyshire’s writing. And he and Derb would find themselves in agreement on a great many things.

Now Derb has written a great many articles and columns concerning homosexuality and gay marriage. He is greatly despised in many parts of the gay community for his views. (In some respects your Maximum Leader believes he would be too if he were as widely known as Derb.) Anyway, your Maximum Leader commends to you John Derbyshire’s latest from NRO concerning the science of homosexuality.

Carry on.

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