Pure Esoterica, 80 Proof

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader figured he would just sit down in front of his ubercomputer and just start typing until he happened upon something interesting. If this just isn’t your bag, your Maximum Leader kindly suggests that you go and read something more meaningful elsewhere. (Like on the Poet Laureate’s site for example. It’s his religous diversity Friday blog! Or if religious diversity isn’t your cup ‘o tea either. How about anything from the best serious blog on the internet, Winds of Change.)

Where to begin? First of all… Your Maximum Leader decided to move Kilgore Trout’s website from the Villainous Blogger category on the sidebar to the Loyal Minion category on the sidebar. Why? The simple answer is that your Maximum Leader ordered it, and that is why. But it is also because he really enjoys reading Kilgore’s stuff. And that fact that Kilgore writes to your Maximum Leader and his Minister’s from time to time doesn’t hurt. Your Maximum Leader wonders what Kilgore will write about him when (if) he chooses to do more of his “Meet the Chaotic Not Random Blogroll” posts. Your Maximum Leader admires Kilgore for his sparse blogroll. He takes it as a sign that Kilgore gives some consideration to a blog before it goes onto the blogroll. That is good. Your Maximum Leader, on the other hand, uses his blogroll like a mobile favourites list. The blogs on the Nakedvillainy blogroll are the ones that your Maximum Leader tries to read regularly. He checks out the Loyal Minions (now numbering two) multiple times a day. And on the Villainous Bloggers part, he reads from Winds of Change down to IMAO every day. The rest of the Villainous Bloggers list get read multiple times a week. Almost all get read at least twice a week. Most 3-4 times a week. Why do you care about this? You care because I care. And that is the way it should be between a Maximum Leader and his minions.

Another of your Maximum Leader’s favourite bloggers is the good Dr. Keith Burgess-Jackson. He doesn’t know why, but your Maximum Leader was very touchd by Dr. Burgess-Jackson’s post on the anniversary of his dog’s birthday. Your Maximum Leader, like Dr. Burgess-Jackson and Arthur Schopenhauer, wouldn’t want to live in a world without dogs. The post reminds your Maximum Leader of an ancient story told amongst some American Indians. (Navajo?) The jist of the story was that when the Gods created the world, man lived amongst the animals. But after a while, the Gods realized that man couldn’t live side by side with the animals. So, the Gods opened a chasm in the world and put man on one side and animals on the other. As the chasm opened, the dog lept across the gulf and thereby chose to live life with man and not among the animals. In many ways, from your Maximum Leader’s perpsective, the Dog is the most perfect animal on earth. He can’t imagine life without them.

Do any of your Maximum Leader’s readers look this good wet? That Conrad is one lucky bastard. (And he writes so well, that is the real kicker.) If any of your Maximum Leader’s female readers care to send him a photo of themselves in a shower, he would appreciate it.

Did you read Christopher Hitchens today? Another great wordsmith. Sometimes he uses his powers for good, like the article linked above. Other times, well… He falls short of the mark in the opinion of your Maximum Leader.

Your Maximum Leader doesn’t know if you follow much discussion about what to do with the Elgin Marbles. (Or the Parthenon Sculptures as some call them.) The “Beeb” had an interesting article about how University of Southern California is trying to recreate the freize-work on the Parthenon using modern digital technology. Very interesting indeed. Frankly, the Elgin Marbles should remain where they are in London.

But of all the sculptures from the Acropolis of Athens that now reside in the British Museum, your Maximum Leader’s favourite is their Caryatid from the porch of the Erechtheion. And just say that a few times… Caryatid… Erechtheion… Your Maximum Leader just loves the sound of those words.

In other news from Archeology… They found a full-frontal of Tuthmosis III, or possibly his mother Hatshepsut, near Thebes. Since your Maximum Leader trusts that most of his readers are better educated he shouldn’t have to remind them that most Pharaohs are depicted in profile. But your Maximum Leader doesn’t understand why archeologists can’t tell if it is Tuthmosis or Hatshepsut. If Larry Flynt is offering to buy the photos, it is most likely Hatshepsut.

Go Away! Go Away! Oh for the love of all that is good and holy, please go away…

Is this really news? Your Maximum Leader was quite interested this morning when he heard Katie Couric announce an “NBC Exclusive.” It was billed as secret Al Qaeda documents. Well, when your Maximum Leader learned that the documents were telling Al Qaeda’s terrorists to attack Americans and Jews he was a little underwhelmed. Isn’t that what they had already been doing? Your Maximum Leader was surprised to see Canadians on the list. What has Canada ever done to offend Al Qaeda? Been a little too polite? Brought Molson to Osama’s annual “Kill a Jew BBQ” when he prefers Labatts? Really now. If Al Qaeda starts attacking Canadians, wouldn’t you think they would start to police their borders more and thereby remove a perfect entryway into the US. That’s not using your heads…

Did you hear? Its aseball seaon in Japan… Oh Bud Selig… You do want to end up against the wall a la Ceaucescu? Baseball season is supposed to begin in AMERICA you bastard. Ah well… At least the Yankees lost a game.

Well… No blogging from your Maximum Leader until next week. Your Maximum Leader is going to take a little weekend getaway. He is going to see an Opera. And spend the night watching for G. Gordon Liddy trying to break into his room. He is also going to have dinner at Roberto’s place. (Even if Roberto is in Italy.) And perhaps take in brunch with Neal at Georgia Brown’s. All in all it should be really great.

Until next week, my minions.

Carry on.

Corrections from the Villainschloss

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader received today a kind e-mail from a loyal minon, JD, who noted that there was a factual error in yesterday’s post “Trouble in Springfield” The cast of The Simpsons is currently making about $125,000 an episode, not $360,000. So…

That being said, your Maximum Leader suggests that the cast of The Simpsons be paid $125,025 an episode.

Please note that the Dwarf (hithertofore) responsible for fact-checking your Maximum Leader’s posts, has been beaten severely and relegated to the deepest pit in the bowels of the Villainschloss.

Carry on.

Trouble in Springfield

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just learned that there is trouble in the fair city of Springfield. That’s with a capital “T” and that rhymes with “D” and that stands for Dough/Dineros/Dinares/Cash…

Alarming news from the set of the Simpsons. (Your Maximum Leader’s favourite TV show. And the only one he makes it a point to watch every week.) According to the news wires, Simpsons Stars Strike for More D’oh. They are making $360,000 an episode… Humm… Your Maximum Leader says pay them $360,025 and settle this before it gets out of hand. That should keep up with the the ever escalating price of Hot Pockets and gas.

Carry on.

Update from your Maximum Leader: Your Maximum Leader just got a nice message from loyal minion Kilgore Trout. He writes:

To The Maximum Leader,

I felt a special connection to today’s post for two reasons:

1. I grew up in Mason City, Iowa, hometown of Meredith Willson, who wrote The Music Man.

2. Just ten miles down the road from Mason City is Clear Lake, where Buddy Holly played his last show. Clear Lake holds a very popular Buddy Holly Festival every year.

Both towns take immense pride in their accidental musical heritage. Mason City has restored Meredith Willson’s boyhood home, and the town’s symbol is Mr. Toot, a silhouette of a man playing a trombone. Many businesses in Mason City use “River City” in their names (as in “River City Auto Body”). And a few years ago Mason City built Music Man Square downtown in a probably misguided attempt to lure tourism dollars to the town. Meanwhile, Clear Lake holds a very popular Buddy Holly Festival every year.

I know you were dying for that information. I just thought it odd that even the most passig references mean a lot to somebody, somewhere.

The new website looks great, by the way

Take it easy,

Kilgore Trout

Your Maximum Leader thanks Kilgore and doffs his (bejeweled) floppy hat to him for catching the “Music Man” reference. Your Maximum Leader once saw Tony Randall in that play. But he also fondly remembers the film with Robert Preston. One day he will have to travel to Iowa and see these things for himself.

And by the way…. Read Kilgore’s site. Visit it every day! It is good.

Carry on.

The 10 best rock bands ever

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader just hasn’t felt like blogging. Not much to say on any topic that would be worthy of your time.

That said, in a effort to make you want to read this site with some frequency… Your Maximum Leader resorts to esoterica to fill bandwidth. He recently read over an article on MSNBC. It is MSNBC - The 10 best rock bands ever.

As frequent readers of this space will know, your Maximum Leader and his Ministers love lists. When he comes across one on a high-profile site, such as MSNBC, it is too inviting not to read. And then if it is a list based solely on personal preference and opinion it is more than inviting, it is like a challenge.

So, allow your Maximum Leader to quibble.

He would drop from this list: U2, The Ramones, The Velvet Underground, and Sly and the Family Stone.

He would add to the list: The Who, Parliament, The Police, and Buddy Holly & the Crickets.

And this list doesn’t even begin to cover the linked and also important subject of the 10 Best Rock Artists Ever. Individual artists, known more for their personal contribution to Rock than their contribution with a group. Of course… Saint Elvis would top your Maximum Leader’s list.

Carry on.

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