Fall of the House of Green Bay Redux.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must take issue with his esteemed Minister of Agriculture. He had wanted to blog out his feelings about the recent Green Bay loss, but to paraphrase Dr. Evil “A villainous Maximum Leader doesn’t speak aloud about his feelings/His hurt and his pain don’t make him to appealing.”

I cannot disagree more about the 4th and 26 conversion of the Eagles. It was a real problem. It was a real problem because Coach Sherman (or Coach Donatell) called for a BLITZ ON 4TH AND 26!!!!! A FRICKKIN’ BLITZ!!!! Why? Why? Why? It makes no sense. The whole game had shown that while blitzing was moderately effective; if a blitz call started to collapse the pocket witout getting the sack, there was a chance that McNabb would run. So, you want to PREVENT him from running forward. You also want to PREVENT the big play. The Packers could have given up 24 yards and still gotten the ball back. (I say 24 yards in case the Eagles got an overgenerous spot. Which they in fact, did.) How about a PREVENT defence? I know you would have given up some yards, but you had yards to give. What the Packers did was stack the line and go into man coverage. That was the idot call. If they don’t convert, well then game over Pack on their way to Carolina. But, by setting up a situation where a long yardage play could work, the Pack helped do themselves in.

Additionally, on the 4th and goal in the 2nd Quarter that the Pack went for but didn’t get. Another stupid move. Always take points early and go for it late. (As TMQ always says.) If the Pack had taken the points, the outcome of the game may have been different.

As the Minister of Agriculture says, the run was working well. But, the Packers didn’t go for the run down the gut enough. Particularly in the 3rd Quarter. They were a little too pass-happy.

And, of course, the big untold item from the M of A’s post… Favre should have taken the sack and not lofted it up without looking.

There. Your Maximum Leader is done now.

Carry on.

The Fall of the House of Green Bay

Many commentators around the net have bemoaned McNabb‚ÄövÑv¥s completion on 4th and 26. As the long-suffering progeny of a mixed Packers/Redskins marriage, I feel compelled to add my two cents.

The real problem was not the 4th down completion. A good quarterback will sometimes make those type of plays happen. What gave me heartburn, long before the tying and winning field goals, was the coach‚ÄövÑv¥s decision not to go for it on 4th and 1 on the 40-yard line with 90 seconds to go.

I had no quibble with the failed 4th and goal attempt that failed ‚ÄövÑv¨ a gutsy call that, unfortunately, did not work out. Perhaps this failed touchdown attempt led to the decision to punt the ball away when a conversion would have won the game.

I think that decision was asinine. The run was working pretty well. A punt was only going to get you twenty yards. Those twenty yards wouldn‚ÄövÑv¥t have made much of a difference to a pass-driven last-second drive. But more importantly, the Pack should have gone for it to KEEP THE BALL AWAY FROM MCNABB!

One bloody first down and the Pack could have run out the clock and reached the Conference Championship.

Quick update & minion mailbag.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader figured he’d do a quick blog. Mainly, he wanted to agree with the Poet Laureate that this post on Cerebral Bypass is a very thougtful, if somewhat melancoly, blog. Very well done.

Additionally, your Maximum Leader agrees with much of what Gregg Easterbrook says about the whole “Paul O’Neill” hullaballou going on now.

And, quite surprisingly, your Maximum Leader got an almost immediate reponse to his pithiness of yesterday. An unnamed minion wrote:
I think it is awful what you wrote about that suicide bomber woman. It would still be a tragedy if she had killed those people three years ago.

Your Maximum Leader responds:
Dear Unnamed Minion. You misunderstand my villainous humour. Your Maximum Leader was implying that it would have been better had the bomber killed herself before she bred. (The linked article mentions that the bomber was the mother of two.)Your inference was incorrect. As you ought to know, your Maximum Leader is very sympathetic to the victims of homicidal Palestinians. Perhaps you should read more carefully.
Yours cordially,
ML.

NB: What type of sicko mother kills herself and leaves behind two kids? Lets check that article again. Reuters reports that:

Wearing a green Hamas sash and headband, Reyashi, from a middle-class merchant family in Gaza, said in a farewell video she had dreamed since she was 13 of “becoming a martyr.”

What type of society (if you can call it that) creates an environment where little girls want to die? Don’t try to pull out any relativist arguments with your Maximum Leader here. He will not tolerate them.

And the article goes on:

She concluded by saying: “God gave me two children and I loved them so much. Only God knew how much I loved them.”

Lets see. God gave her two children whom she claimed to love. Did it never occur to her that rather than blowing herself up, God might have wanted the two children to have a loving mother? Humm…. Call your Maximum Leader crazy, but my logic seems a bit more straightforward than hers. Hell! Isn’t there some sort of “nuturing kids” gene in women? After years of listening to various feminist-types, your Maximum Leader was convinced he couldn’t nurture a soul because he wasn’t a woman. (Of course, it turns out that he is more a nurturer of the “Benevolent God-Emperor” sort than the “June Cleaver” sort.)

What makes it even worse is that your Maximum Leader is sure that whoever raises those children will impress upon them day and night what a wonderful and heroic mother they had. Sickos. Just sick.

Carry on.

Slow day it seems…

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has decided to try a quick blog to end his day. He sees that there is not much going on in this space today. He supposes we really outdid ourselves yesterday….

Your Maximum Leader added a new link to the Villainous Culture area. It is to Samuel Pepys’ Diary. For the uninitiated, Samuel Pepys (pronounced: peeps) was a 17th century Englishman who kept a diary for much of his life. This site republishes his diary, day by day. It is great. If you have never heard/read/been told about Pepys you are obviously very loosely educated.

I don’t know about you, but after all that happened to Roy Horn, I wouldn’t keep a lion around as a pet. But on the other hand, if it was good enough for Rameses the Great, it must be good enough for your Maximum Leader.

Let’s see. Yes to Elway, Art Monk, and Barry Sanders. A minion asked your Maximum Leader today if he thought Deion Sanders would make it into the Football Hall of Fame with John Elway…. Your Maximum Leader laughed and laughed and laughed. Then after wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes, ordered the minion never to come and speak with him again unless he had another good joke for your Maximum Leader’s enjoyment.

Children scared of Prince Philip with a gun… What? What? Why would they be scared? He wasn’t shooting at them. He was killing pheasants. Why are the children of England terrified of gunshots? Because they are completely unfamiliar with them. Sad really. Not like the schoolkids of western Virginia or Pennsylvania (or NC, SC, GA, FL, AL, TN, etc) who often take off a day of school to join their dad’s on the first day of hunting season….

Dean wins! Dean wins! (Dean wins completely unbinding, meaningless, and silly nothing of a primary.) It does surprise your Maximum Leader that Dean did win. He would have put money on Sharpton taking, as George Clinton calls it, “Chocolate City.” But now it seems as though little Dick is not going to play nice.

A pity she already bred. If she had only done this 3 years ago…

They are still pretending to be a democracy in Haiti. Who knew?

Fairfax County’s Jail is charging prisoners with cash to stay in the jail. If jails charged on a “means-tested” basis… What would Texas be able to charge Andy Fastow?

Worst dressed. Most skanky. Think of the awards she ought to win.

That Annika. She is so saucy. She teases her Maximum Leader so with these tales of her past, and photos of herself.

Mr. Green very angry. But unlike David Banner, we like Mr. Green when he gets angry.

But what about THE CHILDREN! Couldn’t the $100/Iowa Caucus vote be better spent on THE CHILDREN. Wouldn’t each of THE CHILDREN in Iowa prefer to get the $100 themselves? They would likely spend it on something stupid… But in so doing THE CHILDREN would stimulate the economy and provide jobs for their parents (and myriad sweatshop labourers overseas). And that gentle readers would be better than political advertising.

Yes yes. Dr Johnson, if he were a contemporary writer would surely modify his famous dictum to read that “Patriotism and the welfare of children are the last refuges of soundrels.”

Carry on my minions.

Revisionist History

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader started this post last week, and put it aside for no reason. Now he has decided to finish it.

Your Maximum Leader is very disturbed by this Thomas Hibbs peice on NRO. What the hell? First people (cretins) in Richmond get upset by a proposed statue of Lincoln in their fair city. Now the US Park Service is rehabilitating John Wilkes Booth in Ford’s Theatre? What next? An Enola Gay exhibit that says that the Japanese were helpless victims of the atomic bomb? Oh yeah…

Your Maximum Leader realizes that the cost of his freedom of speech is sometimes having to listen to cretins. But really? How about a little real history here. That the US Park Service is saying “Lincoln had it coming.” in Ford’s Theatre is unexcusable. Your Maximum Leader remembers going to Ford’s Theatre as a young villain and seeing the museum. He remembers going to the house across the street where Lincoln died and seeing the bed and (preserved under glass) the blood-stained pillow on which the President’s head rested as he died. It was very moving. And to think it is being perverted by a bad interpretation makes me angry. He needs to figure out what he can do to stop this. (Short of an early beginning to the MWO which would easily solve this and so many other problems.)

Carry on.

While we were talking about guns…

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader grows distressed about the apparent ammunition problem the US Army is running into. He’s read two blogs about it today. First is here at Winds of Change. Second is here on Kim Du Toit’s blog. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t see why the Army couldn’t buy regular leaded ammo as a stopgap. Unless it is some cheesy “environmental friendly” requirement in federal procurement. That would be sucky.

Carry on.

I Guess that Evening at the Theatre is Out.
Which leader am I?

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader took a test to see what type of leader he is. Results:

Thanks to Conrad at Gweilo Diaries for the link.

Carry on.

Who eats the most SPAM?

Greetings loyal minions. It is the contention of the Maximum Leader that Hawaiians eat more Spam every year than any other Americans. This doesn’t really surprise me. Perhaps their Polynesian heritage contains some “Spam-loving” gene. Your Maximum Leader remembers on his last voyage to Korea to visit the Big Hominid that he took a case of Spam as a gift for the Hominid’s relatives. Asians (if your Maximum Leader may generalize) seem to love Spam.

For more Spam-y goodness… Visit the Spam website. Link on sidebar too!

Carry on.

Thanks FM!

The MOA stands corrected on assault weapons. I did not know that the classification was so arbitrary; I thought an assault weapon was a rifle designed for infantry combat (like an AK-47). Perhaps that is a major problem when outlawing certain types of weapons: how do we define what is legal? To paraphrase a rather silly legal “principle,” “I know an assault rifle when I see one.”

I’m still not buying the all or nothing argument, on either the Second or First Amendments. Just as I don’t think Bobby Seale’s exhortation to “Burn some pork” has little relevence to my ability to express political opinions, the FM’s desire to own a Panzerfaust has little relevence to my ability to shoot pesky verminous Bambis. Or, to use the “Well regulated” phrase, I don’t see how asking gun owners to take a safety course, use gun-locks, and register their weapons puts an undue burden on my possessing a 306 scoped doe snuffer. Just sayin’.

Kilgore Trout and Spam Haikus and Spam Trivia Question

http://www.chaoticnotrandom.blogspot.com/

Check it out.
Read the archives.
The ML even has a link on the sidebar.
I about ruptured myself as I did my pre-school blog surf this morning. A juicy tidbit from November to get you started (he’s talking about your Bush @TM “tax relief checks”):

“I always wondered what Bill Gates did when he received his check. I want to think that, just like me, he looked forward to receiving his check in the mail and daydreamed what he would do with the precious little windfall. Did he linger outside shop windows, peering in at mp3 players and digital cameras? Or maybe he wandered into a jewelry store and found a perfect little diamond pendant for his wife, and it was $329.95, and he talked the merchant down — Look, I’ll have $300 in just like a week or so. I’ll be able to give you $300 even, cash. Come on, man, I’m just asking for 9.077132899% off. My wife would love that pendant. I can see Bill getting home from work, and finding the check in the mailbox, and getting in his car and hurrying to the bank to cash the check just before closing time. Then he ran to the jewelry store and handed the surprised merchant a stack of twenties — See? I told you! Three hundred dollars and not a penny less! — and took the pendant home to surprise Melinda, who kissed him and said Oh, it’s beautiful, Bill, and then she wore the pendant to the dinner table, even though they were only having Sloppy Joes.

“None of this happened, of course. One of Bill Gates’ army of accountants and tax lawyers took the check and dumped in with his other $34 billion or whatever, which increased his wealth in roughly the same way that you would increase the volume of the Atlantic Ocean by pissing off the side of a cruise ship. Or maybe Bill got hold of the check and let his kids color all over it, or maybe he threw a party for all his rich friends and they used their $300 checks as rolling papers for doobies, and then they all sat around and laughed like hyenas while they smoked their tax relief checks.”

I was giggling maniacally by the tiume I got to the Atlantic Ocean line.

KBJ has some haikus that will likely amuse the Big Hominid:

http://analphilosopher.blogspot.com/

Were these Spam poems inspired by our earlier discussion of Spam hymns?

Quick trivia: What American State has the highest (by far) per capita consumption of Spam?

I certainly don’t want to start THIS argument again….

But watch what you say.
I quote the MA
“I can see no legitimate reason for owning an assault weapon. In trained hands, a semi-automatic is as useful (if not more so) for home defense.”
“assult weapons” are semi automatic or at least, the ones that 99.9999% of the ones that owned buy your average American Gun owner. Fully AUtomatic guns are heavily regulated by the government and require additional background checks by local, state, and FBI, fingerprinting, and punitive taxes (which takes a minimum of 3 months to complete.
A semi auto is a semi auto mechanically speaking. Give it a bayonette lug and a folding stock and it now becomes an evil “assult weapon” that must be banned.
That is why there has been so much troubles (and loopholes) with things like the Brady Law. They determined Assult weapons by physical appearance, so the Gun folks took the bayonett lug off, took off flash surpressor, gave it a hunting style stock and a 10 round magazine and *poof* it was OK.
Same gun, different clothing.
So if you are going to Ban them… then you have to ban them all and that won’t happen. Duck hunters use semi-auto shotguns, Olympic teams shoot with semi-auto rifles, target shooters…. etc etc.

The main thing is, if we want to keep the “right” that we have, we all have to stick together. That means the guy that shoots deer from his back porch to protect his blackberry patch has to stick up for and help out the guy who collects WW2 machine guns (even though he does not shoot them much).

On another note.

If cattle guys take the nuts off a bull, do they then give them hormone shots? If so, why take the nuts off in the first place if you have a small herd and are going to butcher them in a year anyway?

Back to the Trenches

Chilled Calf

I went to the livestock auction last Thursday to buy five calves. I have orders for nine sides of beef and will put one side in the freeze for the Smallholder family. Unfortunately, the veal buyers were out and outbid me on many of the finest calves. Some of the calves went for $140.

I still have a hard time following the rhyme or reason of the prices that different calves fetch. Before the auction, I make a list of calves worth bidding on by:

1) Checking the suck reflex ‚ÄövÑv¨ you want a calf that is so eager to eat that it will suck everything put into his mouth ‚ÄövÑv¨ if he will grab your fingers, he is a potential purchase.
2) Checking the nose ‚ÄövÑv¨ a red nose indicates a cold or sickness.
3) Checking the navel. I wet navel indicates that the calf is only a day old and probably has not had enough colostrums. Colostrum is the first mother‚ÄövÑv¥s milk that jump starts the immune system. Many farmers (particularly those with large operations and many other responsibilities) don‚ÄövÑv¥t take the time to milk out the colostrums and feed it to the calf, just dumping the males at the next auction. I calf that has not had its colostrum will succumb to an infection rather rapidly.
4) Checking the tail ‚ÄövÑv¨ you want to check to see what type of elimination the calf is having. While all calf manure is runny (liquid in, liquid out), you want something with some consistency and color ‚ÄövÑv¨ a clear watery liquid that smells really bad is called ‚ÄövÑv scours.‚ÄövÑvp Scours will dehydrate a calf rather quickly. I saved a calf with scours last year, but it was an incredible amount of work.
5) Checking for swelling around the umbilical cord ‚ÄövÑv¨ an infection will cause puffiness.
6) Watching it walk. You want an active, steady calf.
7) Checking the ‚ÄövÑv blockiness.‚ÄövÑvp Calves start with very bony hips and a large indentation on either side just forward of the hip. If the calf is several days old it starts to get thicker or blockier, thus indicating that it has bypassed early illnesses and has had its colostrum and is eating well.

There seem to be other criteria that I am unaware of. One calf that I thought was reasonably solid drew no bids. I was so freaked out that the veal buyers weren‚ÄövÑv¥t bidding (what was I missing?) that I hesitated and didn‚ÄövÑv¥t bid. It ended up being bought for five dollars. Perhaps I should have bid on him, but I wasn‚ÄövÑv¥t sure enough of my judgment to take a risk.

I ended up getting three medium-level calves for just under my budgeted price. Two were definite deals; they have been solid feeders and healthy over the last few days. One is doing well, but needs convincing at feeding time.

I went to another auction on Saturday, but the selection was rather poor. There were a couple of good calves that went for $150 ‚ÄövÑv¨ way too high for my blood. There was one calf that I had marked down as a possible that no one bid on. He was a little stiff, but I figured that was because of the bitter cold ‚ÄövÑv¨ he seemed sound otherwise.

I had had some experience with a chilled calf. When the neighbor went away, I watched his herd of Angus cattle for him. He had one calf that he was supplementing with a bottle. The little guy‚ÄövÑv¥s mother had only one functioning teat. Most farmers would have culled her years ago, but my neighbor is emotionally attached to this particular cow and kept her. In most years, her calf learns to steal milk from other cows. This year‚ÄövÑv¥s calf did not learn to do this and is really stunted in growth. After a month, he started to give the calf a bottle in the evenings. When I took over, I had to walk all over his top field of twenty acres to find the little guy and coax him to take the bottle. One cold evening I found him huddled in some brambles and I had to rouse him to eat. He just did not want to get up. I eventually got him up and moving ‚ÄövÑv¨ very stiffly, and got him to take the bottle. The calf at the auction barn seemed to move that way.

When no one bid on him, I bid $2. Someone else offered $5, and I took the next step at $7.50. Sold. An awesome deal ‚ÄövÑv¨ if he will live.

By the time I got him home, he did not want to stand up at all. I had to throw all 95 pounds of him over my shoulder and carry him to the barn. I got him into a warm stall, rubbed him down all over (to get the circulation going) and brought him a warm bottle of milk replacer. His suck reflex was gone. I had to prop him up over my knees. You should never let a calf drink lying down ‚ÄövÑv¨ they have to be standing for the pipes to work properly. If a calf drinks while sitting, some of the fluid is bound to go down into the lungs and cause pneumonia. I then held his mouth with one and hand and tilted the bottle with the other. A slow, slow trickle of milk replacer came out and he is forced to swallow. This was hard, cold work ‚ÄövÑv¨ an hour and a half to get a single feeding of four quarts into him. I was up with him a good portion of Saturday night.

Most veal producers jolt the calves with heavy dose of antibiotics whether they need it or not. I try the organic approach ‚ÄövÑv¨ adding sugar for electrolytes and eggs to help digestion. My martyr of a wife is taking over the midday feedings, but I‚ÄövÑv¥ll still be out early morning and evening.

And you know what? I‚ÄövÑv¥m loving the challenge. Trying to save the little guy while looking out the barn door at the snow laying on my fields is sublime.

I just need one more calf to complete the set of five. ;)

There is no Vast Left Wing Conspiracy!

Or maybe they just left me out.

Packers/Wall Street

First… My condolences the entire Villain clan on the football debacle last night. I think it must have been a left wing plot. Nothing else can explain allowing the Eagles to convert on 4th and 26, in addition to that pass that Favre lofted up in OT.

Secondly… Grateful Dead concert circa 1993 or so. College buddy of mine looks at Max Leader’s college roommate putting on a GD tee shirt. “My God you have the biggest nipples.” Am I right in assuming that the large nippled individual is, indeed, Wall Street?

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