I know the Maximum Leader is fond of lists.
He used to keep a wonderful list on his refrigerator in grad school - but I suppose Mrs. Villain has put a stop to his practice of frequently updating that list. I don’t suppose he would like to share the title and contents of that list, would he?
At any rate, some comrades and I were talking about good history movies today and it got me to thinking about movies in general. Listed below is my shoot-from-the-hip top ten movies of all time.
As you will see, I don’t go for high culture in my cinematic experiences, so if you are looking to find intellectual enlightenment, my friends, look elsewhere.
I would like to challenge the Maximum Leader and the other guest bloggers to post their own lists, be they cultured, pretentious, silly, or scatalogically profane (and yes, Big Hominid, that last adjective pairing was for you). If you could only have ten movies in your DVD player for the rest of your lives, what would they be?
I’m betting “Das Boot” makes the Foreign Minister’s list.
Without further ado, the Minister of Agriculture’s list in no particular order:
Big Trouble in Little China - This movie has me in hysterics every sigle time I see it. The relationship between the leads is a mirror of the way my childhood best friend and I interacted. Once, when he visited me at my now wife’s house, we ended up watching it until four A.M. with a case of beer. My wife, who at that point could still have come to her senses and ditched me, had to work the next morning. As the night wore on and the case got emptier, we might have become a little loud. We woke her up around four and she came out of the bedroom to find us, drunk as skunks, crashing around the furniture in ridiculous kung-fu poses and gibbering in pidgin Chinese. And she still loves me! Amazing.
Unforgiven - Beautifully filmed. Awesome acting. Morally ambiguous plot. Friendship and revenge. Go see it. Now.
Saving Private Ryan - Best war movie ever. Every single high school student should have to watch the Normandy landing AND Schindler’s list. This, kiddies, is what your grandparents did for us.
Mad Dog and Glory - A quirky charecter movie with De Niro, Uma Thurman, and Bill Murray. I think all three do a tremendous job - particulary De Niro playing a timid and repressed everyman. There are also some great small roles - the quiet menace of David Caruso, the charmingly stupid celebrity-obsessed mobster played by Mike Starr and Kathy Baker’s victim of domestic abuse. Sweet movie.
T2 - You know that you quote from it. Neat special effects - an awesome, fun action flick that actually had a thread of a plot. I don’t need much of a plot, but I want some. So many directors today seem to think you can substitute explosions for minimal plot development. The only weak point it Eddie Furlong - he can’t act worth crap. About the only good thing about T3 was that he was replaced.
Last of the Mohicans - Awesome historical epic. Filmed at an old-style pace, the scenery is breathtaking and the actors are excellent.
Usual Suspects - Cool little plot drama. Everything ties together. Kevin Spacey is sublime.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - I can’t think of a social situation in which a quote from Monty Python would not be appropriate. There are so many classic vignettes, I won’t even get started, except to say that Gawain was a pansy - Zoot definately deserved the recommended punishment. For a girl’s costume birthday party I got together with my buddies Rob and Stuart and borrowed tunics from my Mom’s children’s choir. Banging coconuts together, we pranced through the streets of Alexandria (to the great amusement of the Alexandrians). Great fun and awesome party. (The gift was great too - her boyfriend at the time was extremely jealous and possessive, so, of course, we bought her lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. My two buddies, both of whom, ahem, “knew” the girl, got into an argument over the appropriate cup size. The middle aged, classy sales lady at Victoria’s Secret had to stand there and seem attentive while two teenagers tried to represent the size of the young lady’s gifts with their hands. I found great amusement in both the lads’ animated discussion AND the poor woman who was trying to retain her dignity. Victoria’s Secret outfit - $60. Watching your friends argue heatedly about breast size - priceless). As a final note on MPHG, I am thinking of changing my handle from smallholder to “Mark the shrubber.”
Unbreakable - M. Night Shalyman’s best flick. It proceeds at a stately pace, allowing Bruce Willis to show us the quiet power only he can summon. I wasn’t too impressed with Samuel L. Jackson here, but love the pace and the story too much to drop it from the list. A buddy of mine who is much more knowledgable about movies (he makes them) tells me he found the whole thing trite. But I just like it. So there.
Aliens 2 - My high school buddy Aaron and I knew this film by heart. The special effects are cool, the aliens scary, the government agent is corrupt, Lance Hendrickson is the coolest cyborg of all time, and it has women wielding flamethrowers. Cool stuff. Of course, after the army stint, I realize the tactics are FUBARed. But what the hell, ths is one awesome movie.
Lord of the Rings - I know this is actually two movies (about to be three), but it also deserves a place on the list. It made my wife a Tolkien fan. Or maybe she is just a Viggo Mortensen fan…
Wild Things - This movie has an awesome plot and the denouement is one of the best. But we all know the movie’s popularity is due to the pool scene, n’est ce pas?
Honorable Mention:
Poison Ivy 3 - In probably the greatest gip in Acadamy Awards History, Jaime Pressly was denied the Best Actress Oscar. I’m still bitter.
Well there it is. Everyone pick up your figurative pens and take issue on my list - what worthies have I overlooked in my cinematic ignorance?
