Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is just working himself into a lather about the whole California recall election. (BTW, does anyone really use the old state abbreviations anymore? Your Maximum Leader is quite fond of Calif., Penn., Fla., and Minn.. Just to name a few.) Regardless, in last night’s post, your Maximum Leader paraphrased H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) who said, “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.” Oh how true. Our friends in California are learning this.

Indeed, when it comes to getting democracy good and hard, California leads the way. The home of the Proposition is now the home of the Recall election. Your Maximum Leader could shower you all with quotations from all manner of learned men and their proof of the folly of democracy for the great masses. Not the least of those against true democracy were the Founding Fathers of this great nation. Read the Federalist Papers and you will see how those great men feared the unchecked power of the masses in a true democracy. But, for many decades now, the good citizens of California have moved more and more away from a democratic republic, and more toward the tyranny of the masses. Now they are getting some comeuppance.

Your Maximum Leader is shocked (shocked I say!) to read that many commentators, and members of the chattering classes are espousing that the recall is actually anti-democratic. (As an aside, to those of us with Blogs have to include ourselves in the chattering class?) In this article in the Globe and Mail, Jeffery Simpson states that the recall election is populism gone wrong. And this whole site is dedicated to the idea that elections are somehow sacrosanct and cannot be changed.

And while your Maximum Leader is discoursing on this subject, allow him to quote liberally from today’s Wall Street Journal Opinion Journal:

Alas for the Democrats, good sense is in exceedingly short supply in their party at the moment. All the major Democratic candidates, as well as all the minor ones except John Edwards and Bob Graham, attended a union-sponsored forum in Philadelphia yesterday, where, Reuters reports, every one of them “blasted California’s recall campaign,” saying the Golden State is, in the “news” service’s words, “being swept by the same right-wing tactics used against Democrats in Florida and Texas and during the impeachment of former President Clinton.”

Jackson even seems to hint at political violence, saying that a successful recall effort threatens to “turn American politics into an unending alley fight that could get very ugly very fast.”

Well allow your Maximum Leader to point something out to these fine people. This recall election is not populism gone wrong. It is not anti-democratic. It is not an insult to the institutions of government. It is not a guillotine to use against opposition. (BTW, what are the chances that Brother Jesse acually wrote that quote? Your Maximum Leader is agog trying to digest the possibility that The Reverend Jackson could describe for a member of his flock what a Jacobin was. Your Maximum Leader is so flummoxed by this he is going to have to settle himself down with a good scotch whisky. He would also like to pass a note to the founder of the Rainbow Coalition. Watch those college boys you hire Jesse, they might actually make you say something that would cause people to confuse you with a liberally educated man.)

The recall election is populism in it truest form, out of control. It is proof that when you give a man the franchise, you do not also issue him a brain.

In my earlier post about California I expressed my dismay with the whiners in the Golden State. Well my minions, recall elections are what happen when the whiners can vote. Someone can whip up the masses into a frenzy, next thing you know, the state is racking up a $70 Million bill to hold an election that will confuse the very masses that want the election. If the good people of South Florida can’t figure out a butterfly ballot, I doubt many of the denizens of the Bay Area will fare well against a 4 page ballot with over 200 names. And all this crying about the recall election being anti-democratic, or just a way for out-of-control Republicans to take back the state that they lost to Gray Davis you Maximum Leader can say only this. If you don’t like the provisions of your own state constitution (its in there - read Article 2), change it and stop your bellyaching.

There is nothing un- (or anti-) democratic about the recall. The faction that wanted Davis recalled followed all the rules and are getting their way. For all of those people bemoaning the fact that the next governor of California might be elected with less than 20% of the vote should get their arses in gear and vote no on the first question facing the voters of California. That question being should Gray Davis be recalled? Once that question passes, all bets are off baby.

And so, where do things stand among those running for governor? Well, it seems that Arh-nold will not get any Kennedy endorsements. (Beyond the one that Maria has given him for all these years.) And what is Arh-nold doing in NYC campaigning? Shouldn’t he be in Orange County (or “The O.C.” as Fox tries to call it) pressing the flesh?

According to the California Secretary of State, the Honorable Kevin Shelley, candidates are being certified day and night. Your Maximum Leader saw a number of familiar names on the list of those already certified. He hopes that every one of the applicants will be on the ballot.

Just remember my minions… Dictatorship is the natural state of government for men. One day, perhaps one sooner rather than later, your Maximum Leader will come and remove you all from the troubles of self-governance.

Carry on.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is pleased to read that General Mussharif of Pakistan is initiating a cease fire along the contested Line of Control between India and Pakistan. While your Maximum Leader does not believe that the India/Pakistan tension is as great as the North/South Korea tension, it is important to keep an eye on that region. We in the west should be thankful that Mussharif is keeping Islamic extremism in his nation under control. Your Maximum Leader suspects that if Usama Bin Laden is still alive, it is likely that he is hiding around the Afghanistan/Pakistan border. One would hope the reward on his head would be enough to entice some brave soul to turn him in…

Carry on.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was pleased to read about all of the chaos surrounding the technical aspects of the California Recall. It seems that the candidates will have to appear on three ballots because they will not all fit on one. Of course this means that well meaning (yet stupid) voters will likely vote for one person on each page, which will invalidate their vote all together. Moreover, elections officials don’t have the normal length of time (9 months) to prepare. But they have to pull the whole thing together in just a few weeks! Egads! Government officials who can’t handle deadlines?!?!

Your Maximum Leader just sits in his compound and guffaws.

Carry on.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A46424-2003Aug11.html

It’s a sad thing to see on the news first thing in the morning.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader returned to the Villainous Compound a little early tonight, and put the little Villainettes to bed and decided to blog a little.

First, allow your Maximum Leader to state for the record that he really likes the new Villainmobile. It is 302 horsepower fun on the highwy. Your Maximum Leader enjoys the fact that he can now pass people doing 85 mph in the middle lane of the interstate and not have the tachometer crest 2500 rpms. Ahhhh sweet premium gas-guzzling American power!

To move things along… Your Maximum Leader is glad that he does not reside in California. However, if things continue the way they are going he is going to have to visit and pretend to live there so he may vote in the upcoming gubernatorial recall election. As you may have guessed, your Maximum Leader tends to skew rightwards on the old political spectrum. So many of his inner circle think that he should be so happy that it looks like the idiot Gray Davis will be recalled. Indeed, your Maximum Leader is enjoying the spectacle of the recall, but it saddens him as well.

Your Maximum Leader is saddened, for one that the whole recall is being played out. Becoming governor of the largest US State (population-wise - your Maximum Leader loves you Alaska!), and the 5th largest economy in the world, via the flawed recall process built into the California constitution was part of his way of launching the MWO. (Fear not, your Maximum Leader has other plans…)

BTW, your Maximum Leader is getting pretty tired of hearing that California is the world’s fifth largest economy. One would think that with such a large and robust economy California wouldn’t be in such a wretched mess. Alas when you dabble in the energy market with state funds, and grossly over expand public spending boondoggles, and change labour laws to make people “feel” better while driving their employers out of business, economic ruin is just around the corner. How many times does your Maximum Leader need to tell you - elected Democrats (and for the sake of fair and honest disclosure, a significant number of elected Republicans) are not capitalists and shouldn’t be entrusted to play in the market economy. Frankly, most political types can’t be trusted to play with taxpayer money at all, but I digress…

Another matter concerning the recall saddens your Maximum Leader. Everyone’s persistent whining about the whole process is getting on your Maximum Leader’s last nerve. Gray Davis is whining because he can’t be on the ballot. Democrats are whining because they have been told not to run. Republicans are whining because there are soooo many candidates. Conservatives are whining because the conservatives running don’t seem to stand a snowball’s chance in hell of wining. Liberals are whining because they fear that the glorious socialist republic they hope to build in the Golden State will be ruined by the interference of Enron in the energy market to start the whole problem. All in all there is just too much whining going on. Frankly, your Maximum Leader would have most of these whining people dragged out and shot. (Except Arianna Huffington. She amuses your Maximum Leader, although he doesn’t like her at all. She is such an evil little social climber. She believes in only one thing, herself. Perhaps this is the reason your Maximum Leader doesn’t like her? She shall be publicly humiliated and then dragged out and shot.)

All this whining comes down to one persistent problem in the United States right now. The belief that “things aren’t fair.” Your Maximum Leader is well aware that this field has been plowed many times before. Call it the “Victim Mentality,” or an “infantile disorder,” or whatever you like. If there is one thing that prompts your Maximum Leader to draw out his Ruger .45 long Colt pistol and want to kill someone it is the high-pitched whine of “its not fair.” We all know that life isn’t fair. We (by this I mean all the sensible people of the world - of which there are tragically few) all understand that sometimes one meets with a bad break, or things don’t go your way. All this whininess and the constant push to make things “fair” for everyone is just too much.

One of your Maimum Leader’s favourite philosophers (not Hobbes), Robert Nozick wrote a wonderful little book called “Anarchy, State, and Utopia.” In it he addressed the idea of equality when approached from the position of fairness. When people say things aren’t fair, they generally mean that they feel (feeling, it is always feeling!) that they aren’t being given equal treatment because they receive an outcome they don’t like. Oftentimes claims of things “not being fair” are immediately followed by a request for compensation.

The late Dr. Nozick wrote a wonderful little passage about this. He pointed out that people are not equally attractive. Because of this, people who are not particularly comely may not be able to marry a beautiful (but perhaps superficial) person. To paraphrase Nozick’s argument for the sake of brevity, let us say that your Maximum Leader were to pitch a little woo at Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt. In addition, let us suppose that Miss Hewitt succumbed to your Maximum Leader’s charms. She is quite comely. Moreover, while your Maximum Leader is certainly not Quasimodo, he is not Hollywood good-looking. If the Poet Laureate were also a suitor of “Love” he could claim it wasn’t fair that she chose your Maximum Leader over him. He could also claim that he required compensation to right the unfairness of the situation. His claim would be baseless. We don’t compensate people for unfair outcomes in love. Why on earth would we compensate people for every other perceived unfairness? Nozick (who is much more eloquent on this point that is your Maximum Leader in this space) posits that so long as one person or group doesn’t have a government sanctioned advantage over another person or group, nature dictates that outcomes will often be unequal. And thus they will also be perceived as unfair.

Forgive me, I digress again…

You may now be saying to yourself, “Self, is there anything about the California recall situation that my Maximum Leader does like?” Indeed there is…

Your Maximum Leader, as he said before, is amused by the spectacle of it all. He remembers that it was once said that people deserve what they get in a democracy, and they deserve it hard. The good people of California are getting what they deserve and hard.

Your Maximum Leader reads the different news sources that tell him that there are more that 150 candidates to replace Gray Davis. That amuses your Maximum Leader. I would like to see some of those hippies in Berkley try to get through that ballot.

Does your Maximum Leader prefer a particular candidate? Not really. Ah-nold is mildly appealing. He appears to be a moderate Republican. Sort of squishy on social issues, but seemingly conservative on economic ones. Your Maximum Leader doesn’t trust economic conservatives who are socially liberal to stay economically conservative for long. It all boils down to the fact that if you are truly liberal socially, you can’t think of a convincing reason (at least convincing to the socially and fiscally liberal people) why one should maintain a fiscally conservative position. There is something to social liberalism that lends itself to government paternalism. That doesn’t appeal to your Maximum Leader.

Who are the other major candidates? There are no other major candidates. They are all minor candidates. They all amuse your Maximum Leader. Gary Coleman. Arianna Huffington. That Simon fellow who was defeated by Gray Davis last year. And then there are the “Adult” entertainment candidates. Larry Flynt and Mary Carey. Your Maximum Leader is conflicted by the porn industry. On the one hand, he believes it is wrong to make sex a commodity and to objectify men and women (women mostly). He lso believes that porn is ultimately coarsening our civilization and is helping to break down the civil code and eliminate public shame and taboo - which are powerful tools for keeping society together. But, on the other hand, porn is not objectionable to so many people, and it is relatively easy to insulate yourself from it. (Yes it is. Really. Your Maximum Leader firmly believes that if you don’t want to expose yourself (ahem) to porn you don’t have to.) He is not sure where this is going… So back to…

Larry Flynt calls himself a “smut peddler who cares.” How touching. Your Maximum Leader isn’t too sure what he cares about, but he is sure that someone will find out between now and Election Day. Flynt says he will expand gambling, legalize prostitution, and give illegal immigrants amnesty. These steps will eliminate the budget crisis facing the state. Larry, Larry, Larry. Your Maximum Leader needs to tell you that these items are tired and have already been overused by too many old free-love hippie-types. Think of something novel and new. Like “adult film star” Mary Carey did in her platform. Her platform calls for a “Porn for Pistols” swap. Bring in your guns and we give you porn! What an idea! At least it is new. (N.B.: your Maximum Leader doesn’t have the heart to tell Ms. Carey that Guns for anything proposals around the country are big frauds. They wind up getting the old rusty can’t-be-shot pistols out of old drawers in garages. They do not have young Crips and Bloods lining up outside courthouses to trade their Mac-10’s and Uzi’s for a copy of whatever films Ms. Carey has starred in.) One platform position Ms. Carey offers is to tax breast implant surgery. Now THAT idea can raise some revenue. Why not tax Botox too? And tummy tucks, thigh trims, collagen injections, and facelifts? Humm… Very interesting.

Well, your Maximum Leader has rambled on quite enough for now. He is sure the California race will become more exciting. He will watch it carefully.

Carry on my minions!

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader did not have time to post yesterday, but he did admire the Poet Laureate’s haiku. Why you may ask yourself? Your Maximum Leader has a new Villainmobile. Your Maximum Leader is quite contented to know that he now has a large (room for Mrs. Villain and the Villainettes) powerful sedan with which to prowl the roads of our nation. More commentary to come. Today’s subject - whiners.

Carry on.

First, we should note that eating a dead horse is easier and tastier than chewing on a live one while it’s trying to gallop away. If you absolutely must tackle a live horse, do not make the mistake I made and try eating it butt-first.

Second, I think that rendering the horse edible (as equine sushi or dog food) is more constructive than delaying the horse’s inevitable return to the Circle of Life. Roy Rogers is infamous for having stuffed and mounted Trigger, an act I found morbid. He is more deservedly famous for having mounted and stuffed Dale Evans numerous times, though he may not have been aware that Trigger was also secretly mounting Dale Evans on the side.

Third, I have come here to excrete a poem.

FERDINAND’S POSTHUMOUS HAIKU

eat my ass and die
sushi-making Jappy freak
too chewy for you!
_

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was taking a quick break and reading up on ESPN about things in the world of sports when I saw this article. Now, your Maximum Leader might like horse racing a little more than the average person (I generally go to two horse races a year and watch the three Triple Crown races.) Your Maximum Leader also has a college friend who group up on a horse farm, and he tries to visit it once and a while. So reading this article upset him a little. Your Maximum Leader has had horsemeat once in Europe, and didn’t find it unappetizing. But, he is now put out after reading what has happened to the great racehorse Ferdinand. Perhaps your Maximum Leader is engaging in a little cognative dissidence in that he does not object to horsemeat, but objects to particular horses being eaten. All the same, great racehorses shouldn’t be eaten.

Carry on.

Greetings loyal miions. In the words of the immortal Homer Simpson, “Ummmm, doooughnuts.” No more eggs and kippers (or baked beans on toast) for the Brits at breakfast…

Carry on.

[NB: This letter is from Jacques Chirac.]

Monsieur,

Many claims were initially made by the MWO’s Maximum Leader about the existence of this “definitive list,” and those claims formed the argumentative groundwork for certain unsavory actions undertaken by the MWO. Those unsavory actions include the theft of massive amounts of French wine and cheese; the stationing of a nuclear submarine off France’s west coast, near Nantes; the capture and removal from our borders of over 4000 swarthy Provencale women aged between 18 and 29; the covert installation of a mobile missile launcher on the territory of Omaha Beach; the placement of a giant papier-mache hand upon the Eiffel Tower (the hand is performing a foul gesture with its middle finger); the forced, televised sodomization of Dominique de Villepin by an angry horse (with commentary by Patrick Poivre-d’Arvor); and the apparently coordinated mass-steamrollering of over 20 million poodles in all the major cities of France.

Unfortunately, it has now become apparent that the vaunted “definitive list,” despite intensive search efforts to dredge it up, in fact appears not to exist. France is formally registering its displeasure with the MWO’s recent unsavory actions, and its suspicions that the MWO has been dealing in falsehoods. We are submitting a copy of this letter to the Secretary General of the United Nations and to PETA. Unless the MWO is able to produce this document within 30 days, France will be obliged to write and “cc” another letter of complaint.

Signed,

Trou de Cul

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader has two things to note for the record. First, he is saddened that National Review Online is taking the week off. (He will not post the link, since if you read it regularly there is nothing new to see.) Your Maximum Leader knows that the good people at NRO need some time off to regroup and relax for a while. But, your Maximum Leader also thinks that when they return they may do something silly like start charging to read the site! Your Maximum Leader knows that it takes some resources to run a major web site like NRO. But he hopes that they can find a way to keep their great content free for the masses.

(Speaking of taking resources… Wouldn’t now be a great time to get a mug with your Maximum Leader on it? Of course it would…)

Secondly, your Maximum Leader must respond to the Air Marshal… He knows that the recently posted list of the 40 Signs of the MWO is not the original list. Alas, he could not find the electronic file with the originial list, nor could he read all of the items off the old scrap of paper he found… So, this is a new and improved list for the legions of minions. Not to mention, your Maximum Leader likes to keep his lists up to date…

Carry on.

Greetings again loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was, as is his habit, perusing the Reuters news wire when he caught this article. It seems that the beautiful dome added to the top of the Riechstag by Lord Norman Foster is imbued with bad feng shui. The glass dome over the heads of the parliamentarians just sucks the ideas out of their brains. Your Maximum Leader is curious as to why this is a problem. Your Maximum Leader is convinced that if the dome were covered with foil, as the feng shui expert suggests, the first thought that would occur to the parliamentarians would be to elect a nationalist dictator and then invade France…

Carry on my minions.

Greetings loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader decided to dip once again into the Minion Mailbag. Here is the message:

Dear Maximum Leader:

Looking for the Signs.

The Maximum Leader responds:

Dear Looking:

Your Maximum Leader looked through a considerable pile of old 3.5 inch floppy disks trying to find the aforementioned list of the 40 signs of the Mike World Order. Regrettably, the original list must be lost electronically. By odd happenstance, your Maximum Leader was able to find part of the list in an old file folder. So, just for you my loyal minions, your Maximum Leader has revised and will now republish the list of the 40 Signs of the MWO.

40 Signs of the Mike World Order.
(In no particular order)

1. Your Maximum Leader’sprofile on all the coins.
2. A huge democratically elected parliament that meets continually, but accomplishes nothing.
3. Identity papers.
4. Show trials. (With free admission!)
5. O.J. retried, found guilty, and stoned to death.
6. All traces of post-1986 Michael Jackson erased.
7. Saint Elvis.
8. Heidi Klum becomes new model for Statue of Liberty.
9. Statue of Liberty renamed Statue of Conformity to the Mike World Order.
10. Abundant, cheap, clean, public transportation.
11. Beer for the People!
12. Distilled spirits for the elites!
13. Huge military parades, for no particular reason.
14. Free digital cable for the People!
15. At least 5 quality programs on digital cable at any given time.
16. MLNN, the Maximum Leader News Network.
17. Ted Turner dragged out and shot, just for fun.
18. Public executions. (With free admission!)
19. Did I just say “Beer for the People?” I meant to say “FREE high-quality Beer for the People!”
20. Permits required before people can wear spandex in public.
21. One radio station broadcasting all Richard Wagner, all the time.
22. One radio station broadcasting all Elvis, all the time.
23. Special lanes on roads for the most loyal of loyal minions to drive on.
24. “No Blood, No Foul” rule introduced to the NBA to make games more interesting.
25. No hockey teams in places that do not naturally get snow during the winter.
26. Bud Selig dragged out and shot for crimes against baseball.
27. Barbara Striesand being forced to clean her own bathroom at least twice a week.
28. Barbara Striesand being forced to clean the Big Hominid’s bathroom daily, with her tounge.
29. Permits required of couples before breeding.
30. More honest labeling of organic products.
31. Photos of topless women on Page 3 of every reputable newspaper.
32. (For the ladies!) Photos of hunky guys on Page 5 of every reputable newspaper.
33. Music appreciation taught in all grades at all schools.
34. One cable channel broadcasting Jennifer Love Hewitt all the time.
35. The new MS-Windows OS will be both intuitive and functional.
36. School children taught the poetry of the Big Hominid in 10th grade.
37. Bill and Hillary forced to live together and like it.
38. Shame and humiliation restored to civil society, maybe through strategic use of pillorys.
39. People allowed to drive as fast as they want on toll roads. (You’re paying for it afterall.)
40. Perpetual happiness for the masses under the benevolent rule of an enlighted Maximum Leader.

Make note of these items my minions. These are the signs.

Carry on.

Greetings loyal minions! Your Maximum Leader promised many days ago that he had been planning to write blog concerning Letters of Marque and Reprisal. He feels the time for this post might as well be now.

Your Maximum Leader, in a scotch whisky induced fog, asked rhetorically if the US was better off (from an overall security standpoint) as a result of the 9/11 attacks. The AirMarshal (his Minister for Air and Space - who is a rocket scientist by the way, really he has the sheepskin to prove it!) posted a clear and succinct blog saying, hey don’t sweat the “what if’s” focus on the real world and get rid of the terrorists.

our Maximum Leader believes that we are more secure as a result of many things since 9/11/01. Not the least of the factors contributing to US security is our presence in Iraq. Your Maximum Leader believes, and has stated before, that the Hussein regime was a threat to US (and frankly global) security. While they may not have had WMD ready to use against the US or our allies at a moments notice; the regime’s past history of developing and using these weapons is clear. The Hussein regime threatened to develop and use WMD in the future, and those types of threats cannot go unanswered. The proper action, given the long history of the Iraqi problem, was a regime change. By removing Saddam and the Ba’ath party, the US has taken away one state supporter of terror; and sent a signal that further support of terror by an established state would not be tolerated. Our security (and that of many other nations) is enhanced.

But now, terrorist groups and those states/people who support them are not likely to be so bold as announcing their intentions on the world stage. Syria and Iran (as state supporters of terror) and other nations (like our good friends the Saudi’s) will become more sophisticated in hiding their support for terror groups. And those groups will go further underground. Your Maximum Leader believes the US needs to redouble its efforts in human intelligence gathering and analysis. And perhaps we should also take the additional step of issuing Letters of Marque and Reprisal to individual citizens to take action on behalf of the US against terror groups.

Where did all this Letter of Marque stuff come from you ask? Well, Your Maximum Leader has read the US Constitution and is familar with Article One, Section 8, Clause 10 of that document which states that the Congress of the US shall have the power to: “To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water”.

What is a Letter of Marque and Reprisal you ask? Put simply, it is a Letter granted to a private citizen to outfit a paramilitary group and use that group against the enemies of his country. Letters of Marque and Reprisal had their heyday in the 16th-17th Centuries, and were primarially given to individuals who would engage in privateering on the high seas.

Now, as a severely overeducated man, your Maximum Leader is familar with the Declaration of Paris of 1856, which stated that the signatories would no longer engage in privateering. Your Maximum Leader also knows that the US signed the Declaration of Paris of 1856. Perhaps we should read the Declaration very literally and not give a Letter of Marque for actions on the high seas. But, nothing would preclude the US from issuing a Letter of Marque and Reprisal for non-naval actions abroad.

Why use Letters of Marque and Reprisal you ask? Well, your Maximum Leader has been reading the papers, blogs, and journals and taking in all of the commentary concerning our situation in Iraq. It seems to the Maximum Leader that many Americans would like to avoid putting our servicemen at risk. Would the American people rather allow people to outfit themselves and put themselves at risk? If a rich person, like Ross Perot for example, would want to outfit a squad or platoon of his own commandos and go after terrorists on behalf of the government of the US - is that better than deploying troops?

Allow your Maximum Leader to digress for a moment… Your Maximum Leader has read a lot recently about how “the American people” are concerned about he mounting casualties in Iraq. These articles always seem to feature some naive someone who says that we shouldn’t be endangering our soliders. Once in a while you even get lucky and have Peter Jennings interview a solider who says that they didn’t sign up for this (war, that is). Is it not as shocking to you as it is to your Maximum Leader to hear this? As the US has an all volunteer military; and the last time your Maximum Leader checked the military are the ones who fight wars; what did these people sign up fr? If you want to go to college, but don’t want to take the chance that you might have to invade another country, your Maximum Leader suggests a loan. If you want a job that is steady, but don’t want to have to kill someone, the military is not for you. If you don’t want to take the chance that you will be deployed to combat, do not join the military. But, I digress…

Your Maximum Leader suggests that Letters of Marque and Reprisal might be useful in combating terror. As terrorist groups are extraterritorial, it is unlikely that the US military will be able to deploy in a country (Syria?, Iran?) and “look around” for the terrorists that might be residing there. But, private citizens might be better equiped to get near the terrorists and take whatever action is needed.

You Maximum Leader realizes this issue is rife with difficulties. First, traditionally if you had a Letter of Marque you were “paid” in loot. You captured a ship, you could sell it (or outfit it to join your own). How would one compensate someone operating under a Letter of Marque? Allow them to take control of terrorist assets? Sell them? Perhaps. If there are significant assets that might work. Usama Bin Laden appears to have money. The 9/11 terrorists had a steady supply of money. If you can take out the terrorists and find their money - it is yours to keep. (Tax free?)

Secondly, what is the downside for the US? Would we need to give a certain degree of protection to those operating with a Letter of Marque? Your Maximum Leader thinks not. If, in the olden days, you were captured - you were pretty much on your own. But, with bodies like the International Criminal Court, etc. would the US have to do something to protect its citizens operating on its behalf?

Thirdly, would we be stooping to their level? In so much as those with a Letter of Marque would not be blowing up pizza parlours, restaurants, discos, office buildings, and airplanes filled with non-combantant/non-terrorists (i.e.: innocent people), we would not be stooping to their level. But, your Maximum Leader is sure that France would object.

Finally, would anyone really do it? Your Maximum Leader thinks so. Really, when one stops to think about it, we (the US) already invites such activity. We put rewards out on people. Some lucky Iraqi is $30,000,000.00 richer for giving us the locale of Uday and Qusay. Would the US government have paid the bounty to a group of US citizens, acting on their own without military assistance, who killed/captured the two Hussein boys? Your Maximum Leader believes that answer to be yes. So perhaps we are already issuing Letters of Marque against terrorists.

Alas, the hour is late and your Maximum Leader needs his rest. Feel free to send your comments on this matter (or others) to me at: nakedvillainy@yahoo.com

Carry on my minions.