During Wednesday night service, Roger Baker, rather than giving a run-of-the-mill testimony, spoke with the force of all the doubters in history. Roger’s soaring oratory and rhetorical flourishes stunned and captivated everyone. Joanne Smith passed out. Reverend Ivanisky removed his collar and lamented loudly.

Just as Roger had convinced those attending the First Christian Church of Majorsville, Illinois that The Lord was a Freudian figment of their collective unconscious, The Lord appeared among them. He looked around and spoke.

“Don’t look at me like that. I brought some refried bean dip for the buffet after.”